Why do I enjoy cutting myself?

Question

I just want to do it all of the time. I just like it. Please dont call me a freak. :(

Answer 1

Hey Katie, you are definitely not alone. Self-cutting is generally done for 2 reasons:

It's a means of distracting yourself from emotional pain, and it's also a means of getting yourself to feel emotions at times when you feel emotionally numb and disconnected from yourself and others (dissociative).

It may seem crazy, but it's a way some people use to cope when they feel overwhelmed. Others drink or do drugs, others overeat. Some people do more than one thing. Often this starts in young women who were emotionally and/or sexually abused.

Your urge to cut means you are a very sensitive person (and you likely have a higher than average I.Q.) and probably feel overwhelmed easily. It makes sense that you might get relief this way because it makes you feel more in control of things. It is a distraction and it may be calming you down, as well as releasing endorphins in your brain to make you temporarily feel better.

The problem is - as you know - it is not the most effective way to cope. It only works for a few minutes and then you feel self-loathing again, increased now because you feel guilty you cut yourself. And of course it creates scars too.

But even the scars can seem beneficial: In a way it's like you're saying "Look at me, you can see by my scar that I'm in great pain; that I'm hurting". So when someone sees the scars you are both mortified and feel cared for at the same time.

I think you need to talk to someone you know and trust about the cutting if you haven't already. There are better ways to cope with your overwhelming feelings. You just need to be patient and learn them. You should see a therapist. I also recommend you see a psychiatrist. I doubt you are crazy, but you could get more info about this and understanding it better should really help.

I wish you well. I hope some part of this helped you. If not, I really hope it helps someone else who is going through this ...

Answer 2

It puts the pain on the outside; you control it, you can fix it, you know what caused it and where it is. Internal pain is much more difficult to handle. Inflicting pain upon yourself can also serve as a distraction from something that is eating away at you on the inside. For one brief moment you don't feel the mental pain anymore, you don't feel numb anymore. There is a theory that sometimes self injury is a trauma reenactment. You're causing pain to yourself just as your abuser did, if you were abused or assaulted in some way. You embody both the abuser, the victim, and any bystander who did not act to protect you. In any case, I hope you seek the help you need from a mental health professional. You are certainly not crazy or a freak. You're doing what you can to save yourself.

Answer 3

You aren't a freak hun I promise. Cutting makes you feel good. And not because you're sick and wrong. It actually releases endorphines and other hormones that make you feel elated. It is a drug. A drug that granted not many understand but that's what it is. It makes us feel good. But it's not good for you. You really do need help with this, a counsellor, someone you can trust. Cutting isn't really ever the problem just a symptom of the problem

Answer 4

This is common. I think it is like a penitence (look up the word). Talking to a therapist or anyone helps. Writing down how you feel when you want to do it helps. You can become a writer. You can even make it a blog. This page has more on this.

http://phifoundation.org/teen.html

Answer 5

my sister is a cutter. i know she does it for two different sensations... we know this after 6 years of counseling. she gets a sense of control of her feelings when she cuts. she knows she is causing the pain, no one else. then there is the sense of punishment ( for her) she will cut if she fails or lets herself down some how.
cutters are becoming more common, sadly... it is a mental illness and should not be taken lightly. you probably have built up emotions that need to be explored. try talking to a counselor or a psycologist., they may have some meds to help ya. good luck hon.

Answer 6

it's because as much as you don't want to admit it. you like the attention. and even posting this online means that you are desperate for attention. find something that you love, anything. working out, painting, singing, sports, ANYTHING. trust me. when i was 14 i was addicted to cutting myself, and now at 22 i look back at my scars and can't remember why some of them are there! You honestly don't like it, you like that it has taken the attention off of your attention deprived life, and that you will have some sort of pain and crave attention..

you'll be ok. but i think you should seek help just incase!

Answer 7

Probably because you have problems in your life, and cutting yourself and feeling that pain makes you forget about the problems in your life.

But I should say cutting yourself is not the answer, there are people out there that can help you. People want to help you, just talk to your teacher or someone you can trust about it.

Answer 8

katie

you are suffering from a truama (most likely) in which your mind chooses not to think about. You are replacing emotional pain with a physical one, which is a common defensive mechanism. You need to see a therapist like myself who can "desensitize" the truama or stressor you have in order to reduce the number of cutting incidents.

Good Luck!!

Answer 9

No, you're not a freak and you're not alone. Cutters or self mutilators are around. There is a deep seeded reason you do this perhaps and only a professional therapist can help you discover and overcome this.

Answer 10

the fact that you cut yourself ,shows that you have no control of your life and this is a way of gaining some control in your self . It is also indicative of the fact that you don't have any liking for yourself and have no selfasteem or confidence . the way out is to start looking at your past and relearn to value your self, lol.