My boyfriend chose her over me when we were just "casually dating." I told him I loved him and 5 days later he stood me up to go be with her. It's a long story.... He has been perfect to me for the past 8 months and says he is truly committed to me and that his ex means nothing to him. I, however, am haunted by the painful memories and can't seem to let it go. Any advice....???
2006-07-21 08:53:45 · 8 answers · asked by Jessica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should do her. Then he'll be jealous about you with her. Or just really really really happy. Either way, everyone wins.
2006-07-21 08:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by barelyliterate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that intellectually you realize if you're going to be with him then you're just going to have to trust him. But if lack of trust is an issue, then you need to figure out why that is -- are there signs that your boyfriend may still be interested in this other woman, or is it just your insecurity over what happened in the past? I totally understand why you would feel threatened by her, but if he's assuring you he's over her and only loves you, then you're just going to have to trust that unless something is telling you otherwise. I know it sounds trite, but if you don't have trust in your relationship then you really don't have anything. I'm sure you don't want to let your guard down, for fear that you may get burned in the end, but realize that if he screws up and cheats on you or goes back to this woman, then that's something HE did wrong to YOU...all you can control is yourself, not anyone else. Focus on being the best you can be (to include feeling secure with yourself and your relationship) and don't worry about what COULD happen -- if it does, you can deal with it then and know that you tried your best to make things work.
2006-07-21 16:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by partlycloudy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why you are choosing to let this make you miserable? Apparently for 8 months he's given you no cause for insecurity or jealousy, so it's all on YOU that this issue exists. Get over it...why be upset over something that is a non issue? He's with you, isn't he? If he wanted to reconcile with her or if he didn't want to be with you, he'd be gone...
Stop being your own worst enemy...you're upset for no reason and it could end up harming your relationship...
2006-07-21 15:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're obsessed with the ex and what happened it's only going to hurt your relationship with the boyfriend. Has he given you any reason to doubt how he feels about you? If not, than I would let go of the obsession.
2006-07-21 15:57:48 · answer #4 · answered by Gracie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You are holding back any growth in your relationship. Get over it or bail. You are probably driving the poor guy crazy. But I also like the doing her answer as well.
2006-07-21 15:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...GET OVER IT! He's with you now and you're going to undermine your relationship if you don't get past it. Don't borrow trouble. You decided to trust him enough to get back together with him. Now, give him the benefit of the doubt. If he's done nothing to make you doubt him, TRUST HIM!
2006-07-21 15:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u may be a little jealous,but u should be fine just don't go psycho.
2006-07-21 15:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by purple_dogs_bed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dating problems.do as you like.
2006-07-21 15:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋