I was seeing a guy ( who is totally repalceable) who thinks it is an insult to have a woman pay, in a way he might be abusive later, should I get out now?
2006-07-21 08:45:53 · 20 answers · asked by Taya Wane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My dear, you should NEVER pay a for anything when you are on a date in which a man invited you---- ever, ever! If a man I dated expected me to pay for anything on the date I would automatically eliminate him from a marriage prospect! This would tell you of things to come in the relationship and future. You would be paying for things forever! If that's what you want fine for you, but not me. I want a provider--a hardworker, a loyal husband that wants to take care of his home and family. A man should want to treat his date, not sponge on her or have her pay! This is not a sign of an abuser! This is a sign of a rewarder, a giver--not a taker.
2006-07-21 09:01:07 · answer #1 · answered by ruthie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hard and fast rules of dating are that the person who asked the other out and took them somewhere is supposed to pay.
Now if it is an impromptu thing then it should be 'dutch'.
To ask someone out and take them somewhere and then try to get them to pay would be just plain cheapo.
This goes both ways, it is rude to try to pay when you have accepted their offer of a date and a meal.
Communication is the key to a successful relationship.
If you cannot even agree on who should pay, then there are power issues and certainly probably personality conflicts.
Life is tough when someone abuses and 'crucifies' you by trying to pay the check, isn't it. You are already blaming him for things that have not happened yet.
Throw in the towel, this relationship is dead. You seem to be too
good for him already. This is just sad.
Maybe you should work on some of your issues before you subject your next victim to them.
Sorry i have to tell you the bad news.
2006-07-21 16:05:37 · answer #2 · answered by great gig in the sky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly think he is going to abuse you then yes, leave now before you get hurt. If he only seems angry about it then speak with him. Maybe he was raised that he is not a good man if he doesn't pay for the check. Thats just how some men are. Maybe you could offer to cook at home for him one night instead of going out so there is no conflict on who pays. Speak with him about it.
2006-07-21 15:50:56 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetask 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's often a pride issue for guys...instead of turning it into a fight, ask HIM out at some point and make it clear when you issue the invitation, that it's your treat...
After a while, when a couple's been dating, it's not unusual for them to go dutch or her to pick up the check on occasion...but if this is someone you are newly seeing, he's likely to assume (esp if he asked you out) that he's paying the bill and would probably be embarrassed if you attempted to pay all or part...
Let him be a guy...you can make it up in other ways later...
2006-07-21 15:50:19 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think something's wrong with that picture. A man paying for everything is fine, but not to the point where it should be upsetting to him if U want to pay! See, they always say a relationship should be 50/50 but what's that? Maybe he thinks it should be 100% him on somethings and 100% u on others! And trust me, some of that other stuff, U may not B down with!
2006-07-21 15:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. My boyfriend was very possessive of the check at first, found out later he was just uber macho and trying to make that clear. Now he still pays for most stuff but isn't as anal about it. In the end...having him pay for everything's been awesome! And no he didn't end up being controlling or abusive at all.
2006-07-21 15:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by Unbridled 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right! If this guy who is totally replaceable, (Ask his mom) has enough respect for you to want to pay when he takes you on a date, you should drop him like a hot potato! Don't you see, it could all end up with you having a decent man in your life, and you must want to be angry and miserable, so get out now. SAVE HIS LIFE!! Peace :)
2006-07-21 15:49:48 · answer #7 · answered by fromdheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now. Sounds a little controlling. Why does he feel its an insult if you offer to pay? Most guys would welcome that. He doesn't have to crucify you for offering. The thing he should've done was politely say, "No I've got this one."
2006-07-21 15:49:17 · answer #8 · answered by Gracie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop this fool like a hot potato! He should respect your decision for wanting to pick up your end of the tab. Kudos to you! If he lacks the sophistication to understand your point of view, there are gentlemen whom would adore the company of a cosmopolitan woman, such as yourself. Best Regards!
2006-07-21 15:51:33 · answer #9 · answered by Battlerattle06 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a man pay is not wrong. But if you want to pay then why shouldn't you. if you see red flags of him being abusive get out NOW!
2006-07-21 15:47:35 · answer #10 · answered by Luna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋