Been dating a really nice man a couple of months and he is a man every girls needs, he's caring, romantic, a gentleman, he can do DIY, cooks and even has a go at the ironing so I decided to take the relationship a step further and sleep with him.
Oh my god! I have bite marks all over my breasts and back , he even drew blood at one point. He was so vicious he left what looks like carpet burns between my legs and he didn't get an ere**ion until he tried to shove a unlubricated fist up my bum! It was awful, I told him to be more gentle which he did for about 5 mins and then he started all over again. What shall I do, Is it shallow to dump him because he's crap in bed or has he gone over the top?
2006-07-21 08:45:37 · 41 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And to top it all off I was in so much pain I couldn't have intercourse.
2006-07-21 08:55:43 · update #1
Yeah I told him he was hurting me and he was really apolagetic.
2006-07-21 08:59:16 · update #2
OMG - U poor thing............
Sex isnt everything in a relationship, but it is important. I mean, lack of it, having it with someone else, and as u described, all cause tension.
I dont think it's shallow. Maybe the reason he is so 'helpful' is to compensate for his bedroom activity?!
Also the fact that he didn't really pay attention to your 'gentle request' is terrible.
I dont think your sexually compatable, do you?
And thats your answer.
Peace n Luv
2006-07-21 09:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by BlueMorpho 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I laughed so hard at this I ended up with a stitch in my side. Oh dear! A couple of things come to mind, 1. thats what you get for not taking him to bed sooner lol, no serious though what is wrong with him. He has the sensitivity of a bull staring at the Matador!
He sounds like something from the wilds.... has he ever been with a woman before?
How do you solve this? You have to talk to him and tell him that you found the whole experience "interesting" but if you were to be in a position of "love-making" again you would like things to be a little bit different. Maybe take things more slowly, and stay aware of the other persons involvement and ensure that the love-making is pleasing to both. This is like KNOCK KNOCK HELLO! Do you have the patience to teach him how to do things differently. Is he worth it? Only you have the answer to whether its worth pursuing. It may very well be the case that he knows no better and needs guidance, or a couple of hand picked magazines left lying around conveniently open on relevant pages.... Good luck
2006-07-21 08:57:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to judge a situation like this, but from what you've said, I would be very worried if I were you. He sounds extremely vicious and nasty in bed. Some people enjoy this - but it's only good if it's by mutual consent. If not, then it's really verging on abuse.
My instincts say get out of this relationship as soon as possible. Often men who abuse seem 'too good to be true' to start with. The sex you've had is a big clue that something is definitely wrong with this guy.
I have had some experience of this as well - a similar situation. The guy I was dating was really wonderful, or so I thought. When we had sex, though, he was really rough, to the point where I was in serious pain. I stupidly stayed with him and it then took me another 6 months to get out of what became a violent and scary relationship. That first night in bed was a definite sign to get out - but I was too bowled over by everything else to look at it that way.
Hope this helps
2006-07-21 08:59:39 · answer #3 · answered by trixie firecracker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and explain to him you want him to be gentle, explain to him what you like and what you don't like . See how he responds to this. Bearning in mind that caring romantic and DIY are important qualities for a man to have, but he has to change his bedroom attitude. He could have been with a previous partner who liked it rough and ready, and possibly thinks this is what turn woman on, you need to educate him ion how YOU like it done. Communication is the best method. See if he is gentle the next time, and at the first attempt of him getting rouch, make an excuse to go to the bathroom. and then, dump him before you look like a battered woman
2006-07-22 01:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by Elana N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl......You need to leave that man alone! If those are the types of things that turns him on, he is never going to change..and if he does then you are never going to turn him on. I say yeah he is a nice great guy...but there are so many other great guys out there. Sex life (once you bring it to that point in a relationship) is a big thing and if you are dreading it.....you always will. Also it in turn will start fighting over it and it just doesn't sound good.
I understand liking it rough......but not beating the **** out of you. LET HIM GO!!!!!!
2006-07-21 08:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by blueyegurl0283 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!He sounds scary 2 me,bit anyway if the sex is that important 2 u like it is 2 me then u need 2 tell him he better take it down some (alot )or u and him no chance in hell 2 make it,but then if he keeps it up u may come 2 find that u like that kind of thing.LOL! Good Luck
2006-07-21 08:52:15 · answer #6 · answered by purple_dogs_bed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a big difference between being rubbish in bed & being vicious which he was. It doesn't matter how wonderful he is out of bed if he is going to abuse & hurt you in bed.
This man has problems & needs help & you shouldn't even be thinking of staying with this man
2006-07-21 09:11:31 · answer #7 · answered by madamspud169 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a sensitive guy then is weird in bed.
I hate men who think they can do what they want in bed.
Try chatting telling him what you are uncomfortable about. I know sex first time can be sometimes a disaster but i've never had a fist trying to go anywhere .
Sounds like you do like him but if he's not willing to calm it down and you aren't happy you may have to say bye bye
2006-07-21 08:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Nutty Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! that is a hard one...I would stay and try to work on the situation..and dumping him right off the bat would be mean...Maybe there are thing's u 2 can agree on and try to work on the sex thing....Just go with what ur heart says and not ur mind...cuz we can do that alot and it sometimes is the wrong answer....take care and I wish you the best of luck with whatever u do....
2006-07-21 08:50:53 · answer #9 · answered by itsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl he sounds like a freak, and he did all this and couldn't get an erection.... hell naw.. I take no pain for no man, and carpet burns is a no-no. Were you even enjoying this? The anal stuff is not for me at all. Dump him fast, and run for the hills.
2006-07-21 08:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by They Love ME......... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋