Is it okay for a mother to do this? (Question asked inside)?

Question

I am 16 almost 17 yrs old and I am an Agnostic when it comes to the concept of Jesus being Gods son. For me it just doesn't add up. But my mother is a born again christian. I say born again because she has never been very religious until recently. You see, she was like all suicidal and depressed before she found this church that she goes to all the time now. Personally I feel like she should have gone and gotten professional help. But she didn't and now she's taking this christianity thing in way too high of a dose and way too often. Anyways she knows about me being an agnostic and yet she makes me go to church every single sunday. And even worse she sums me up so simply as if the only reason I dont wanna go is because I want to sleep in. And she claims to be a tolerant person who excepts gays, all races, and all people in general. My question is, If it is right for her to do this and if not how should I approach her about it.

Answer 1

Well, everyone has a right to believe however they like. The downside to all of this is that you are still under 18 and live under your parents roof so you have to do whatever they say. When you're 18 you can move out and believe what you like. Good Luck

Answer 2

Okay...let start here...your mother choosing God as her choice of healing is her business and should not be looked down upon because it was her choice. Research has found people with spiritual connections seemt o heal and feel better. So it is working for her, good for her, but if she slips into depression again, I would suggest she get professional help along with spiritual.

Now as for making you go to church with her. Sorry to be a realist but you live in her house and in the meantime must do what she says. Not that you cannot approach her with feeling forced to church. Maybe you both can come up with a compromise where you go every other week or something.

You sound very angry that she had decided to believe in something you don't believe in. You have a choice and so does she. Yes you have to live by her rules, but you are not allowed to make her feel bad because you do not believe in her beliefs. You two need to talk about this seriously together and calmly.

I would suggest doing this together or with a mediator or counselor.

Hope this helps a little.

K

Answer 3

It's good that you're not being really upset or resentful about it because if you consider what she's just learning, she probably thinks she's "saving your soul" by forcing you to go to church with her.

But it's right of you to be more than a little annoyed. Just sit down with her and tell her how you feel - that you resect her new beliefs but that you have your own (which you've probably had for longer than she's been a Christian). Explain that while you have no problem talking to her about her faith, you have no wish to convert as well. Just be clear, and if she's compassionate and respectful, she'll understand. After all, true Christians shouldn't want to force their children to follow their beliefs. Their only responsibility is to PRESENT the information but they must allow their children to decide for themselves once they are old enough to do so. Otherwise, it's no better than forceful conversion which basically goes against the very idea of "God given free will." You could mention that too if it gets too hard.

Answer 4

well it sounds like you are somewhat familiar with the 12 steps program and if so you know it's attraction not promotion. in other words its always better to show someone what it is you are getting from something and how it is effecting your life, work or relationships so that the person is like "hey, i want what they got!!!!!!!!" not by shoving it down their throat until they choke and throw it back up. i guess i would rather have her all jazzed up about church than being depressed all the time so it's the lesser of 2 evils. however anything can be bad in excess, and maybe suggest to her that she should speak with the reverend about counseling sessions, that way she is getting the therapy that we all think she needs but at the same time she is not threatened by it because of her connection through the church. and hey just look at it like an learning experience and learn how these people worship and of course people watching and gossip run ramped in the house of the lord! full scandals!! good luck

Answer 5

I feel so sorry for you. It must be just pure torture to have to go to of all places a church and be totally abused by hearing the name God or Jesus Christ. Your mother must be a total nut job to think that reaching out to God or a church may be helping her. A good shrink can give her all kinds of prescribed meds and chemically induce her brain into what they believe is sane. Better yet maybe you should just get her some of the great crystal meth that you can buy in school and get her hooked on that. I am sorry your mom found God instead of actually carrying out her suicidal thoughts. I am sorry that you are suffering instead of celebrating the fact that you still have a MOM.

Answer 6

There are definitely other things that are way beyond the range of normality that parents, unfortunately, put their kids through and forcing the kids to go to church is not one of them. You are not the only child that was forced by their parents to go to church. Parents do that and it goes under the heading: I am the parent and I know what is good for you. Well, every good parent likes to think that they know what is good for their kids and there is no cure for that. Sometimes they will be wrong, sometimes they will be right, but the matter at hand is that, while it is upsetting to you, she is not doing anything that would harm you in any way and definitely not something that lots of parents have not done and will not do to your kids.

However, I think that your problem is not that your mother forces you to go to church but rather that she does not take your believes seriously. If this is the case, than I agree with you that this is a problem. If you can respect her believes, there is no reason why she should not accept and respect yours. However, as lovingly and caring parents are, they might have a tough time admitting that their kids have grown up and that they are able of logical thinking. They are still stuck with the cute image of them at age 5 when they used to say such funny things and forget about them the next day.

What I would advice you to do is find a nice quite moment when you can talk about her believes (hers first, no matter how much you are dieing to talk about yours) and than explain to her calmly why you think that they don't add up. If you are going to get into a yelling match ...then drop the whole thing. You are not going to get anything through when either of you or both get all worked up. Try just calmly making sense to her and relating to her your thought process that lead you to those believes. But in order to do this, you have to understand how her mind works about these things first and don't assume that you know because that is the mistake she is making that got you into this mess in the first place.

I am not saying that it will work but it is definitely the only way you can do it. If she still doesn't get it.....it's not going to kill you to go to church with her. True, you will have lost the main battle of making your mother take you seriously. But parents are human, they are not perfect, neither are you, so the mistake is excusable, especially since it is not meant to do any harm. This is certainly not the only occasion you will have in life to signal to your mother that you are a person that can think for herself. One day, she will get it and the important thing is to win the war not the battle. But if you think you are mature enough to have thought about your religious believes and come up with an argumented conclusion, than you should be mature enough to handle this conflictual situation with diplomacy and tactfulness. And think about this: this is but one of a long series of such situations you will be confronted with throughout life. They are not pleasant but there is nothing that can prevent anyone to not take others seriously. Take this experience as your lesson in how to handle such situations and turn them your way.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Try looking at it this way... Can you earn $1000 a month to get by in life?

Going to church to give back to your mom for all the things she's done for you in life is at least nothing more than "cheap rent."

There is only the Law of Love and the Law of Violence. Everything else is mens' religion. Try the love of Love in this instance.

Good luck.

Answer 8

No, its not fair. One of my friends is also super religious-which is great- but boy, can it get annoying. Anyway, I think you should have a sit down chat with her and show her your beliefs and feelings. If she still doesn't understand, refuse to go. Eventually, she'll get the message. While you should give her credit for trying to be a good mother, you should let her know your old enough to have your own beliefs. Good luck!

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with her having new beliefs. before you ask yourself how you want to change her, ask youself why she might have wanted to commit suicide. here you are asked us if YOU should change HER and if she suits YOU. how selfish can you be? just adjust to the way the is and work around the parts of her you dont like. dont change people to suit YOUR needs, just try and talk to her and see why she likes Jesus so much. I for one am a Christian, and btw Jesus isnt Gods son only, hes also part of God, he IS God, and God IS Jesus. if you cant belive it, then dont worry thats why boring people have faith. now if you want to take the time to actually LEARN about it and try and make a religion for yourself then dont just stick with one mind frame, keep trying to see new ways of thinking, and if your way wins out then great, congradulations, but instead of worrying about how other ppl can change to suit your needs worry about stuff like that, things that actually require unselfisness

Answer 10

Yes, she can do this. However, she can't make you change your mind. But, regardless of whether you think Christianity makes sense, the church has very valuable benefits regardless of whether you truly believe. Church instills a sense of good behavior, which will always serve you well. Don't worry about it making sense, because no one can prove God does not exist anyway.