We are both in our 40's and hit it off right away with intense chemistry. He still calls almost every day and we always talk for atleast an hour. We get along so well and always have fun when we see each, which is usually once or twice a week. The sex is excellent. He let me know in the beginning that he "sees" other people, which was a surprise. He also let me know that "I scare him in a good way and he doesn't know what might happen here." He told me he cares for me alot but that he is afraid of failure after his divorce and has commitment issues now.
I decided to continue dating other people too and just see what happens with him.....Well, the chemistry is still in tact. He is jealous when I go out with another guy. I act like I don't care about his other dates. Should I keep playing hard to get, or let him know I just want to be with him...and risk scaring him away, or just wait?
2006-07-21 07:57:42 · 14 answers · asked by tazzy64 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Great answers people, thanks! The trick is have I waited long enough to put my cards on the table, or would waiting a couple more months (6 mo. total) make any difference at all???? At this point I want to stop having sex with him and see what happens.
2006-07-21 08:46:32 · update #1
Wow, thats actually a tricky situation. Y'all are currently in an open relationship. Both of you with light to moderate commitment issues, but obviously like each other very much.
The only real question is if you both want to be with just each other. You've handled it extremely well up to now by giving him his space and letting him find his own way. So I'd sit him down and ask him directly.
Does he think that he can just be with you, or is he going to keep seeing other people. There isn't a right or wrong answer to that. Just something you need to know. Ask yourself the same question, are you going to be happy being just with him, or are the additional dates and the relaxed atmosphere keeping things just right.
Your biggest concern should be what happens if he commits to you, and ends up cheating on you due to fear of commitment or a self destructive streak, or if he's just a big ole slut. (like me!) Will you still be okay with it then?
I'm very interested to see how this one plays out. Either he'll commit and you'll commit and you'll live happily ever after. Or you'll commit to each other while retaining the open relationship part of it, and live even more happily ever after. Or you'll commit and he won't and things go boom.
Good luck.
2006-07-21 08:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by cloaked30m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the main obtrusive answer is stay with the recent guy. Your ex will n o doubt 'develop his game' in an attempt to get you lower back, yet you will possibly desire to undergo in innovations his historic past, and why you broke up with him. aside from this, you may not have interaction in distractions jointly as following your study, so have a sparkling innovations as on your new guy and stay with him.
2016-11-02 11:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has commitment issues and isn't dating you exclusively and isn't making any effort to commit to you & you only, then you should continue doing what you are doing. it's not that you are playing hard to get, you are playing in the same field. you have a right to do what he does. it's not about games, it's about fair play. you can make hints towards the fact that you wouldn't mind being exclusive to him, etc. but don't commit w/o his commitment as well. it's not fair to you.
2006-07-21 08:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by HopeThisHelps 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, you are both adults. Stop playing childish games.
Come flat out and ask him if he wants to continue seeing other people.
2006-07-21 08:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by billm_07456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honesty is always the best thing.. if it scares him away then he must not have been such a good choice, and better to know now then find out in a few years... good luck.. have a good day..
valiant
2006-07-21 08:02:24 · answer #5 · answered by valiantw2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everything is going good as of right now, dont tell him how you feel and risk scaring him away.. just sit tight.. whatever has to happen will eventually happen..
2006-07-21 08:01:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for him girl. tell him how you feel.
be exclusive
sounds like you both really like each other alot, see where it may lead. dont let the past interfere.
go for it!
2006-07-21 08:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depending on his personality...
if he's goofballish- he might not take it as hard if you tell him now.
if he's more serious- you might wanna wait for a while
hope this helps.
*i've never had a boyfriend, but i've had lots of friends with boyfriends.*
2006-07-21 08:03:37 · answer #8 · answered by Sakurasweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to stop seeing other ladies and tell you that he doesnt feel comfortable about you seeing ther guys. if he doesnt then he just doesnt care enoff about you
2006-07-21 08:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anton G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him and want to be with him
you should be able to risk scarin him
you never kno what may happen
2006-07-21 08:00:46 · answer #10 · answered by tb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋