My 4 year old still throws major fits. He is obsessive about things and if we say or do the wrong thing he has major screaming and crying fits. I don't understand his behavior. This can go on for hours!!!!! Sometimes we have to recreate the senerio so that we do something the way he expected it to be done or said the first time. I realize that he is seeing how far he can push us to get what he wants but what the !#&*@! This is driving us insane! ....does this behavior make sense to anyone????
2006-07-21 07:06:47 · 29 answers · asked by Melm 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
wow. Have you talked to his doctor about his? Not to scare you, but there could be an underlying psychological/medical condition Also, it sounds like you are enabling his behavior. While you may think you are making things better for the time being by recreating the scenerio and having do-overs all the time, you are doing your child an injustice for when he is older. In the "real world" he will have to accept that things do not always go his way. Good luck to you. I know this is a hard thing to deal with.
2006-07-21 07:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by purplepassion 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well of course he is getting his way with this kind of behavior so he will continue to do it. You need to show him that YOU are the in control and this behavior will NOT be acceptable.
My daughter would do the same thing. we would be in a store she would see something she wanted I said no, she threw a fit. I actually left the store a couple of times just to show her she could not get her way by throwing a fit. Once we got home I would get down to her level which is very important when disciplining a child, look her in the face and explain what she had done and why it was not a very good thing. I would then put her in time out and keep her there until she sat in the corner for 5 min, (sometimes this would take all day) Sometimes I even put her in her room and let her throw her fit all by herself, she would eventually fall asleep. Children need structure, it is a pain in the behind to break this behavior but once you have you will be amazed at the results. So get yourself some earplugs and be ready for the fight! Good Luck
2006-07-21 07:20:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jules 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you say you recreate these senarios? If you realize he's just trying to push you then why do you cater to him? Things won't always go his way in the real world and you're not helping him to develop a healthy way to deal with life! I'm not trying to say anything bad about you at all, a screaming child is the worst but you must not give in. Just ignore his behavior, get an ipod or something. Just let him know that that type of behavior is unacceptable and will not get him his way. Be sure to reward him when he communicates like a big boy. Something else to consider is there could be a medical reason like autism or something else.
2006-07-21 07:35:15 · answer #3 · answered by I got answers! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek a doctor, if the doctor gives him a clean bill of health then he is just being fussy.
He knows if he throws a fit you will eventually give in, so he keeps throwing them. When he starts throwing a fit, leave the room completely and just let him cry. If you don't get this behavior under control then he will just get worse.
You need to be firm, you need to follow through and not give in. You stated in your question that you would recreate the scenario and that is the wrong course of action. If he knows he will eventually get his way then he'll just keep going until you break.
If you are in a public place, immediately leave and go home, then you put him in his room or give him a time out. You have to let him know that you are the parent.
Good luck.
2006-07-21 17:44:49 · answer #4 · answered by TMH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously consider spanking (NOT BEATING). It really is what he wants. Sometimes it may seem cruel but how else will he EVER learn to curb his temper? You are doing him NO favour by letting him carry on for hours and hours. As he grows it will only get worse. What if he has a job somewhere someday and they don't do the "right thing" and he throws a fit there? Life sucks and he will have to realize that and control his emotions accordingly. I'm NOT saying beating him, just spank him on his butt. Preferably with a paddle so he won't see your hands as negative. Kids will be kids and tantrums happen, but they don't have to KEEP happening! He keeps crying because he KNOWS you will give in eventually. My aunt's children have only given her ONE tantrum and she spanked them out of it. It really isn't cruel it's the best thing you can do!
Just imagine when he's a teenager and doesn't get what he wants, will he hit you? or someone else? Something to think about!
2006-07-21 07:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by Troopers_Gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...makes perfect sense. Sounds like a 4 year old to me. Some are just more dramatic than others and some really need to have their way. My youngest is like this. However, I never recreate a scene to give him his way. If he throws a fit, I don't care how minute the issue...do NOT give in to him..that is why he keeps throwing the fits. He got what he wanted before so he expects to again and when he doesn't get it he blows it even bigger....do not give in to him!!!!
2006-07-21 07:21:26 · answer #6 · answered by Sharlala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 4yrold still has terrable fits too. I have to sit her in her room sometimes that don't work. I just let her cry and scream until she calms down then I try to talk to her. Explain 4yr olds don't do that. She wants to go to school and school wont put up with that and she wont beable to go to school. None of my other kids have ever done the fit thoughing before at least not as bad as she does. Just be pastion and listen to him. He also trying to get attention from you and daddy. We have 4 kids and it's hard to give just one attention and not all. Good luck but he'll out grow it..
2006-07-21 07:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by chisnina420 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for a child to act like a child, but how you Re-act will determine if he learns not to act that way or keeps it up.
You can learn what things set him off, and deal with that as far as planning the future (A really good book for that is "The Difficult Child" by Stanley Turecki, your library may have it.)
But when he acts unacceptably you need to deal with it, and show him that it isn't the way people behave. Whether you spank him or deal with him some other way.
2006-07-21 07:37:58 · answer #8 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son also does the same, he will be 4 next month.... I dont think there is anything "wrong" with them, I just thing boys are like THAT. my most recent adventure with the "Boy attitude", I grounded him from his video and computer games and he yelled at me for an hour, I told him if he didnt stop he was going to get his mouth washed with soap, so he looked me right in the eyes and yelled at me again, low and behold, I washed his mouth out with soap!!! just put your foot down and say what you mean and mean what you say........Stick to your guns no matter how heart wrenching it is to hear him cry because he wanted something and cant have it.......
2006-07-21 07:14:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually children act inaproriate because you have in the past reinforced that behavior...either consciously or sub consciously. Start to punish them for throwing fits instead of just looking at it as you not giving in is their punishment. If a child acts the way you want them to, reward them (praise works just as good as physical things) but if they don't then you have to give them a negative consequence.
2006-07-21 07:12:28 · answer #10 · answered by anysomeone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋