why do most christians judge your life instead of helping you to find your way without judgement?

Question

i believe in god and i know he is real but at times i cant feel him i wonder if this means im unsaved or if i have just fallin to far away if so how do i find myway back? so many things are going wrong in my life right now from lonliness to confusion i dont know if im sure what the truth is anymore or who is telling it i love god but christians seem to be the last to offer help when truely in need the god i long for and that my heart desires to know is not the one that alot of todays christians speak of there actions are not ones of love so it pushes people like me farther away from god when all i desire is to know the love of him i dont wish to judge those who feel different about him and i dont want to be judged either for wanting to love him i just want to find the truth for me and my children

Answer 1

The truth is that God is love and He is always present with you if you are His child, whether or not you feel it. Alot of Christians have lost focus of what's important and how to be Christ-like. Christ on earth helped all kinds of people, good and bad. I pray that you might find some truly Christ-like Christians who can help you. Check online to see if there's an Evangelical Free Church in your area. My experience with them has been amazing. Don't give up!

God Bless

Answer 2

I'm so sorry you have felt judged instead of helped. You are right that we Christians can sometimes go about trying to help someone in a way that's all wrong. Please don't give up.

I would like to point out one thing, though. Often we feel judged when someone points out something in our life that needs changed. If several people have told you essentially the same thing, you may want to step back and examine what they've said.

For instance, imagine that I am obviously overweight, and I'm eating a bag of potato chips while I'm complaining about feeling tired and run down. Now the person I'm talking to points out that I'd probably feel better if I put down the potato chips, took a walk, and lost some weight. Chances are I will immediately get ticked off that the person told me I needed to lose weight. How dare he call me fat? However, if I truly stepped back and thought about it, that person would be right.

Just a thought. Free advice is worth what you pay for it.

Answer 3

Excellent question. It seems that many modern religious folk wield their faith like a weapon, a status symbol, or a political tool. Spirituality has nothing to do with the way they throw around their 'religion'.

In terms of the Abrahamaic religions (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam) god commanded the same thing from all of them - help your neighbors, help the poor, help the sick, don't be greedy and work for peace. Seriously like 75% of the religious texts for these three can be summed up with the mission listed above.

Yet what do modern Christians focus on more often than not? Abortion (which is not mentioned in the Bible), hating homosexuals (which is as much of a sin as hating anyone else) and hating Liberals (which Jesus sorta was). This is precisely why I left the church and will likely never return. The word of the 'Prince of Peace' has been perverted by people who never read the Bible, feel it's just fine to start wars, love state executions (psst... that's what killed Jesus) and worship Mammon - wealth for those of you who haven't read the Bible.

Answer 4

Monica I have felt the same way many times. I've been put down by my own church because of my sins. It was awful, but life goes on. I've meet many people from different religions and i find comfort when they speak to me. i was born and raised catholic right now some of my good friends are mormons. They are young and happy to be doing what they are doing and that is sharing the knowledge that they have. You dont have to listen to everyone, listen to the people that make you feel good about yourself. We are not perfect and the christians that are acting like that are wrong. Remember Jesus talked and cared and cured many different types of people. Pray by yourself talk to God through Jesus's name and believe me he will hear you. Don't expect to receive happiness through other people. Find your own read, pray, laugh, smile, and cry when you need to. I have had 5 daughters and my life has been challenging also. Open the bible yourself open to any page and just start reading the spirit will guide you. Your more OK than what you think we can be our own worse enemies sometimes. The thoughts that you have in your head are loving and we do make mistakes. The thing is try not to keep making the same mistakes learn from them. The choice is easy they make you happy or sad one or the other. Take care. God and Jesus love you with all their hears. I know that you feel the same way.

Answer 5

True Christians will want to help. If I see a Christian "brother" sinning or doing something wrong, I will question him about what he is doing. We are to do this to keep each other accountable. Even if I don't like what he is doing, I can hate the sin and love him.
Human nature likes it when we can look better than someone else (pride), but we need to give that up.
Sometimes if we stray from God, we feel apart from Him. He is always there. Just call on Him. He never leaves us or forsakes us, so it is us that move form Him.
Call upon the name of the Lord and be saved. See also Romans 10: 9,10. If you have asked Jesus into your heart, then you are saved, unless you out-rightly blaspheme the Holy Spirit... IE tell God to leave you.

Answer 6

The first thing you need to remember is that Christians aren't God. They are flesh and blood like you and have faults and failings too.

Christians not walking in fellowship with God can be hard and cold. Don't forget that it was the Catholic Church that tortured and killed those who didn't believe the way they did, INCLUDING BIBLE-BELIEVING CHRISTIANS AND JEWS!

If you have accepted the invitation to the "wedding feast of the lamb", you have chosen a tough road. Matt 7:14 tells us that "strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." KJV

Jesus promised that "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 KJV

If you do stumble in sin, the apostle John gives us this assurance: "My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:" 1 John 2:1 KJV

Jesus told us about the end of the age in which we live when he said: "And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved." Matt 24:12-13 KJV

It's important that we don't give up. When you sin, get up, dust yourself off, go to God in prayer and confess your sin, take up your cross again and follow Him.

You're gonna be OK.

Answer 7

Christians are not supposed to "judge" you...the Bible is clear on this. They may, however, give constructive criticism to help you in your journey. Make sure you are not confusing those 2 things. Even God has expectations of what kind of life we are to try to live and the way we treat others. There is a lifestyle we are commanded by the Bible to pursue as we seek the Lord. And by the way, that journey never should end till you leave this earth.
I will not bad mouth anyone attempts to be a Christian, but in all things there is bad and good....so it is also with Christians, dear. How do you know the difference? You don't till you take the time to get to know them. But if you are a "baby Christain", you absolutely need to surround yourself with others who seek the same as you...the Lord. If you do not, then you will have a harder journey in your spiritial growth.

Answer 8

While I've also found many "christians" to be quite judgemental, it usually appears in discussion, not when faced with the opportunity to help someone. In fact I've often found amazing the ability of the truly devout to ignore the circumstances leading to the pain they are attempting to relieve.

The exception seems to be when it is the CURRENT and ongoing actions of an individual wanting help that they see to be the cause of the problem. You gave no details so I have to wonder what exactly are you doing that results in people judging you instead of helping you?

For example, if you are asking for help for your kids while at the same time refusing to leave an abusive relationship...they aren't judging you, they are seeing a bad investment.

Answer 9

I want to say I'm sorry that this "judgmental" wave has washed over you. The Scripture plainly states "Judge NOT, lest ye be judged. For with what measure ye meet, it shall be measured unto you again." People forget that they're supposed to witness and teach and be an example, but that GOD is the one who convicts the heart and saves the soul through that soul's OBEDIENCE to the Word, not because some overzealous, sanctimonious person who may not realize that they're offending people stayed in their face and made them feel bad! I hope that these situations in your spiritual life are resolved without anyone's feelings being hurt, because "It is a dangerous thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

Answer 10

Well, you are either in the wrong Church, or you hide your confusion very well.

Talk to your pastor. Of course when you feel far away from God, it is you that have moved away, and God is right where you left him.

Sometimes it is a trial you are going through, and the only thing you need to do is thank God for the trial(for it means you are his) and seek to see what it is that God needs for you to learn through this and other trials.

This is one question , where, I wish I were able to meet with you and speak to you one on one. There is so much that can be healed by simply being able to talk to another about our trials.

I will pray for Gods will in your life.