Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and
2006-07-21 07:01:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
2006-07-21 07:02:24 · update #1
try and answer the questions.
2006-07-21 07:02:45 · update #2
ha ha ha i wish i had all those answers but damn you gave me a kick outta reading that, i'd give you ten points, well i can't but if i could i would! answer me this how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
2006-07-21 07:07:07 · answer #1 · answered by lucy_goose 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. sucks for you
2. that makes no sense.
3. meh
4. proboblaly because you actually need both education and accomplishments to run for miss america. plus a nice rack
5. meh
6. meh
7. meh
8. meh
9. yes.
10. they cant read the bible in school because schools are places of education.
11. meh
12. good question. i say we get rid of that too. no bible needed.
13. ill thank the teacher.
14. meh.
2006-07-21 14:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by johnny_zondo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must say that there are a lot of amazing and thought provoking truths in your post! Others are hilarious! I heard the "guess" one told once using a fat woman. The guy saw it on her sweatshirt and said "275" (as in pounds! hahahahaha!)
2006-07-21 14:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by bigvol662004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some I've heard before. Some are new and pretty good.
2006-07-21 14:06:45 · answer #4 · answered by chitchenitza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE SIMPLE ANSWER IS NO ONE CAN HELP U ITS THE GODS GIFT WHICH U AND WE ALL ARE GOING TO ACCEPT.
2006-07-21 14:07:09 · answer #5 · answered by HARISH V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you ask too many questions
2006-07-21 14:05:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha.
2006-07-21 14:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by casey_leftwich 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
strange ????
2006-07-21 14:06:25 · answer #8 · answered by Mim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh.....what?
2006-07-21 14:05:43 · answer #9 · answered by That one guy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
idk
2006-07-21 14:05:25 · answer #10 · answered by scared_of_most_adults 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋