Okay don't get me wrong I don't mind that my husband goes to these places with his buddies after work. But why must he choose to go when we don't have the money? For instance he just called and said he was goin to a club with his friends. Cool but he knows we don't hardley have any food in the house to feed our children and he wants to go spend his money else where? And theres no trying to get him to come home when he said hes going. Then when he gets home he wants to be all lovey dovey and I'm pissed now so when he gets home I just wanna smack him upside his big head to know what he was thinking. Can some one give me any advice thats been through this longer then I have? His children should come first especially his pregnant wife. Am I wrong for thinking this?
2006-07-21 07:01:01 · 19 answers · asked by lillady 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You seem to have 2 different issues that you need to separate. Is it the strip club that bothers you or the time and money being spent? If he were playing poker at a friend's house and spending the same amount of time and money he is now, would it bother you as much? If the answer to the second question is yes, then your issue really isn't the club. You feel abandoned both financially and emotionally by your husband. Yes, he is being a jackass, but sometimes we have to be the bigger person. Get a babysitter and pop over at the club. Put a couple of bucks in a g-string yourself and see how he likes it. If that is too "out there" for you, tell him that you are fine with what he does as long as you can have the EXACT same amount of money and time for yourself. If he spends $50 a week, you get $50. Also, if he stays 4 hours on a Friday, you get 4 hours on a Saturday. This approach may help him wake up to what his actions are doing to you.
2006-07-21 07:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by JC 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Nope your not wrong at all, first and foremost you need to get back yourself esteem. He's using you & walking all over you and you don't even see it.
Put your foot down & demand that he remembers his Vows.
Buy the way, men don't just go to strip clubs to watch. You might need to talk to a lawyer. Also, he is such a wonderful man, way is he showing his children that, them nor you are more imporant than some naked chick?
I would not, put up with this for a secound from my husband, as far as some men go, you give them an inch and they want a mile. Stop being the nice wife & get your family back in order. I wonder what he would say or do, if you went to a male strip bar or just went out.. " Try it " Just leave the kids with him and tell him you'll be back in awhile. Then juss go to the store or your friends house and see what happens.
I don't know, Good Luck
2006-07-21 07:30:27 · answer #2 · answered by lvn3814 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You are absolutely right.
2. I wouldn't have a problem with him going to a strip club once in a while (for a party or something), but the only thing he better be spending money on are drinks. You don't give money to some chick on a pole when you are married. That money should go in your kids' college fund. Period.
3. You two need to sit down and discuss your finances. Discuss what types of unnecessary expenditures are okay and which ones are not. Say, a movie once a month, cable TV, going out for a drink with the guys twice a month, that kinda thing and how much you can spend. When he brings up strip clubs, simply tell him you can't afford that right now, it's not going on the list (and really I think it should never be on the list). He has to be responsible and take care of his family and there are some things you have to give up when you choose to have kids. I think strip clubs, other than for bachelor parties or something, are one of those things.
Time to lay down the law and remind him you are adults with children. You can't play with your money any more.
2006-07-21 07:19:18 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you really need to chill. Can't stop crying, don't want to eat? Over a bachelor party? For goodness sakes, what do you think is going to happen? So he looks at some naked girls. Yeah, he will probably enjoy it. Yes, he will probably come home mostly drunk and horny as hell. So what? He isn't going to be pumping any of those strippers. If you are worried about one of them being in his mind all the time, well you need to step up your game and be sexier for him if you think they have something on you. You really want him to be one of those whipped husbands who has to tell his friend that he can't go because his wife won't let him? Because she's freaking out? Bummer for him. He'll never, ever, ever live that down and you'll have a reputation as a jealous wife. How about you let him go and have some fun. That night, don't even bat an eye over what he's doing, get out and have some fun of your own with your own friends. I can also say that I've been to a bachelorette party that was WAY raunchier than many bachelor parties. If your man was doing this all the time, yes, I could understand being upset. But he isn't. Quit trying to be the center of attention and using all that stereotypical female guile (crying etc) to CONTROL your husband. How about you be a good, supportive wife instead? One that he can be proud of and brag about to his buddies? You could be the envy of all the guys rather than them pitying your poor husband.
2016-03-27 02:12:25 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong hes the one that's being really stupid,hes taking food and money away from his family just to watch some skanks naked or half naked and stuff dollar bills in her g-string. That's not what I call a man. There is no reason for a married man to go to strip clubs unless hes looking to get laid or some kind of cheap thrill. All those girls are there for is to take a fools money.I don't blame the girls I blame the married man. You may not be in a position to kick hes trifling butt out but that's what I would have done a long time ago. I hope you can get by with out him ,he is not a good man or a good father.My husband would never disrespect me or our daughter in that manner
2006-07-21 07:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by Yakuza 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say pretty much the same stuff that everyone else did. I started to answer, but got interrupted, and 16 other people said the exact same thing, lol.
Your husband needs to come home to his family after work, not go hang out with the fellas... If he wants to be single and a "hound" so badly, let him spend the money to get divorced and not suffer your relationship for his vices. He's wrong, and you're wrong for putting up with it. If you allow this kind of behavior, it will never stop...
2006-07-21 08:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by trc_6111 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've gone through this for years my husband had not grown up and wanted both piece of the pie me and children at home hardly any money and him at the ****** bar watching those stippers not nice after me raggging and tell him that i've keep notes and I 'd use them in court and supena the staff at the bar to say how often he was there. with time and age it gets a little easier but my husband is selfish and that is a trate he got from his father he can be very good at times. We have been together 12 years than we married for now 9 years so 21years all together we have been throw alot hope things work out for you
2006-07-21 07:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband obviously has his priorities mixed up. His household should always come first. He doesn't sound like he knows where his responsibilities should lie. Either that or he just doesn't care. I don't blame you i'd be very upset with this type of uncaring behavior. I'd definitely put a stop to this one way or another. Even if it mean't leaving him in the end. Hell, it's not like you told him he couldn't go. (personally, mine can't) because i don't see the point in it. but anyways if your okay with him going and don't nag him about it the least he could do is make sure you guys are taken care of first.
2006-07-21 07:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sxyblkdiva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holly cow....no you are not wrong (this is coming from a man). All the things you have put in are valid reasons. I think you have a person who is running away from responsibility.
1) Married to you going to strip clubs.... NOT RIGHT AND I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE OK WITH THAT TOO.. (from my moral stand point)
2) Children, family and wife should come first.. (It is called responsibility)
3) He probably thinks that the money that he earns is his and probably has not sunk into his mind that he is married. ASK HIM!
$) Counseling and try to save your marriage....
2006-07-21 07:09:06 · answer #9 · answered by intelneo1977 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but if my husband would do that.I would leave him in a heartbeat.He is married and has a family to take care of.If he wanted to do these things,he should have not married and had kids.
Maybe its time that you sit down with him and talk things out before they get worst.To me it seems that he should be home with you and the kids and getting things for his family instead of going out to a strip club or any kind of club.
I hope that everything works out with you and your husband.Good Luck and God Bless..
2006-07-21 07:15:24 · answer #10 · answered by ~Devilz~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋