I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3/4 months. On the begging of our relation everything was perfect but as the time pass by things started to get worst and worst until came to this point. I cant endure all that, he doesnt siems to like me or even love me. But I love him a lot and I don't know how to break up with him.
And everytime we have problems I start to cry and stay locked on my room all day long, and as this things happen so often I'm afraid that I will het into a deep depression.
My friends always says to me that he is just playing with my feelings and I should break up with him.
But I really deeply love him, and I cant imagine my live without him.
Should I listen to my friends or to my heart?
I need help! Please help me!!
2006-07-21 06:40:56 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How can you love him if you don't love the way he treats you? Again, there's love and then there's the image of love. All you have done is created a mental image of this guy and you love that.
If you take a step back and look at the way he treats you, it'll be immediately obvious to you that you can't love THAT.
And how you do it. Is you just say goodbye. and get your girlfriends, and go get very very drunk. He's not the last one out there, and he's not the only one you are ever going to have.
I'd bet you that your girlfriends already have two or more guys lined up and waiting for you.
2006-07-21 06:45:59 · answer #1 · answered by cloaked30m 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You need to let him know that you thinking about leaving, list all the things that are different. you could even put it in a letter if your afraid of the confrontation. Maby he will change once he knows you wont take being treated like a second class citizen anymore. Chances are that he wont care, and he might leave. You say you love him, can you remember why you love him is it the way he used to be if so you don`t love the man he is now you love what he was. Then again maby he will get a wake up call from your letting him know you have had it, and he will be the guy you fell in love with. Personally I think you deserve better, love should not fade away but grow stronger and deeper with each passing day.
2006-07-21 06:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say why you love him, what the problems are, or how he is being unfair to you. Unless he is really mistreating you, perhaps it is you who is being unfair to him by acting desperate every time he wants to gain some distance from you.
If the only reason you stay with him is that you are afraid of getting depressed, then you probably don't love him even if it feels like love. You're just desperate. That is a form of "separation anxiety" that sometimes comes from life experience of people leaving or dying on you, parents divorcing, being neglected. Desperate people cannot have a healthy relationship. It is very unattractive to potential mates, it causes all kinds of problems, and it attracts the wrong kind of people. You will have to either leave him, or overcome whatever problems you have, or both.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you need some tough love.
2006-07-21 06:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by Monso Orda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your friends and your heart. Ultimately, YOU have to make the final decision and deal with whatever consequences come with that decision. It's only been 3-4 months, honey this should be the newlywed stage and he should want to be with you. I have a question for you, how can you be in love with someone who doesn't love you and more importantly, as you stated, doesn't even like you. The last 2 things you should ask yourself is, "How much do I love myself? and Do I love him more than I love myself?" Work on that and don't lock yourself in your room....it's like you're wanting and waiting to get depressed. Wake up and smell the deceit! Get out there, have fun with your girls and a REAL man who's right for you will come along but he won't be able to find you if you're still wasting time on this guy or if you're locked in your room....
2006-07-21 06:53:00 · answer #4 · answered by M & M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too new to be having problems like this so soon in the relationship. There is really no possible way that you can stay in this situation. It is not healthy to you and is becoming abusive. I know that you think that you love him, but can you possible love someone that hiurts you so much? Love is not supposed to hurt and if you find yourself fearful that you are going to need clinical psychiatry because of this guy, then you need to get out immediately. Things rarely improve in a relationship. They typically get worse.
You asked if you should follow your heart. Honey...you need to realize that you know in your heart to dump this guy since you are questioning it and even writing on this site for answers. You know what the right thing to do is. Don't listen to anyone, but yourself....Just remember that God will always throw pebbles before he throws bricks.
2006-07-21 06:46:04 · answer #5 · answered by Tytania 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you'll know when you've had enough. But if he treats you bad, what exactly are you holding on too? Just the fact that you can "claim" him as a bf? And 3-4 months is not a long time at all. If it's hard to leave him now...imagine how hard it'll be after 3-4 years!
2006-07-21 06:45:21 · answer #6 · answered by virgogirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it is yours.
If it doesn't, it never was.
Never rely on another human being to make you happy. Only YOU can make you happy. So many times I have been "in love" and thought I would never love someone like that again. But, guess what? I have. Give this guy the cold shoulder and realize it is a privlige for him to be with you. Back off. Sometimes you have to put a little ice on. If he doesn't come around, move on. You are too good to ever beg and grovel!
2006-07-21 06:48:09 · answer #7 · answered by wendy e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break up with him and move on. It really sounds Like he does not feel the same as you do. And it is not likely to change. You may be depressed for a while, but it sounds like you Try hanging out with your friends more, and going new places and doing new things to get your mind off of him. In the long run the longer you put it off the more it is going to hurt.
2006-07-21 06:49:05 · answer #8 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost every relationship starts out 'perfect' b/c both people are putting their best face forward.
Its at about the 3 month mark that you start to see someone's true colors.
Stop remembering how perfect it was and wake up to how it is right now. Your friends have your best interest at heart - believe them b/c they have a more objective view than you can right now.
Its hard to break up, always is....but you'll move on and meet someone new.
2006-07-21 06:46:23 · answer #9 · answered by Miss. A. Laneous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to break up with him, even if you love him. Why stay if he doesn't feel the same? It is not a real relationship, just a one way one.
It is tough healing from a broken heart, but unfortunately most of us have to go through that many times in our lives. Spend a lot of time with your friends, plan some fun things to do, write in a journal to help you get through it.
2006-07-21 06:44:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are so unhappy being with him then yes you need to break up with him. I know you think you are in love with him but what you are explaining is not love. love shouldn't make you cry or feel depressed. Someone that makes you feel that way is not worth it. Just break up with him. Don't worry someone else will come along who wouldn't even dream of treating you like that. It will hurt very much at first, breaking up with him, but you will feel so much better in the long run.
2006-07-21 06:46:48 · answer #11 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋