my brother is 18 yrs old, he is not like many guys he always is figthing with my mom and dad he never listens to them. He doesn't want to share the pc and the house phone with anyone else. he looks nice but i mean he is like the worse. my mom wants to kick him out of the house but my dad doesn't want to. He had tried to hit my parents and i always go in between them cuz i don't want nothing to happen. He blames me for every thing n i don't know why. he says that my mom and dad always trust me for every thinmg and i guess that is what piss him off. I'm only his sister but I'm afraid that he is going to do something to us one day.
Can some one give me an honest advice,PLEASE!!!!!!!!
2006-07-21 06:38:54 · 32 answers · asked by Amy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
wow...sounds like some serious anger issues. He is very immature and very lucky to have a sister like you that is concerned. the answer depends on what your parents are like. Some parents are as bad as some kids. If you feel that they are mature and sensible enough to talk to about it, tell them about your fears. Not in a tattle tale way but explain you concerns about the welfare of the family, your brothers welfare as well. His type of behavior is going to get him in trouble in the real world. Big trouble!! If you think going to your parents is a bad idea try your best to avoid him and when you have contact be nice. Not phony nice but nice. I wouldn't advise getting between a fist fight. If one of your parents get hit call the police. That might sound extreme but hitting your parents is extreme and is unacceptable behavior. Good luck girl!!
2006-07-21 07:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by serfblues 2 · 11⤊ 3⤋
There is really no sure, solid answer for your problem, unfortunately... but the best thing for your brother would probably be for him to get out of the house and experience life on his own. Making his own decisions and not having anyone "ruling" his life other than the people at his job may help. Another option would be for him to join the military.
Pushing him to do something he doesn't want to do may only make things worse. Your brother feels he's old enough to be considered a man, and still being in the house under someone else's rules are pretty much stifling him. Get him out of the house and hopefully things will improve for him and your family.
2006-07-21 06:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by Ima Random Thought 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't feel guilty because you are respectful to your parents and do as they ask you to do. If your brother has a problem with that ... he's far beyond normal ranges of jealousy.
Continue trying to be the "peacemaker" in your family. Don't jeopardize your standing with your parents to do it, though.
If your brother is as out of control as you suggest, your parents are going to have to finally get on the same page ... face facts ... and offer your brother up some "tough love".
That means ... unless he shows respect to other family members ... unless he controls his temper and does not attempt to hit anyone ... unless he follows "house rules" ... he'll have to leave and survive in this cruel world all by his lonesome self.
Your brother may have some underlying psychological problemes ... or he may be involved with drugs or alcohol. If you discover that it is some sort of substance abuse ... tell your parents and they can get him some help.
This doesn't really sound like the normal kind of teenage rebellion ... so something will need to be done or your whole family is headed for some pain.
Good luck, honey. I wish your brother realized how much you care and would respect that more than he appears to.
2006-07-21 06:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 18 (technically and adult). So if he doesn't want to play by the rules of the house and respect others then it's time for him to move out. You Mom is right encourage him to stand on his own feet -- whereas your Dad needs to give some tough love and cut the umbilical cord. No one should have to fuss and cuss in their house after working every day. Life is too short. If you feel that way about him potentially doing something to the family -- then your parents need to take action because he may be used to walking over them.
2006-07-21 06:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother should ignore your father, and put him out. If she doesn't have the courage to do that, then the next time he becomes violent, or threatening, call the police. You have the right to feel safe, and if your brother interferes with that, then he needs to go! Your brother needs some serious help; talk to your parents and see if they'll tell him to go to counseling, or leave the home. By the way, don't get into the middle the next time he goes after your parents; maybe he has to hit them in order for them to do something about him! Good luck!
2006-07-21 06:46:38 · answer #5 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO, it's really sad how your parents have raised you kids. we (2 boys) were raised like that - angry, combatant, hateful, unhappy, suspicious, frightened - it must have been hell for our little sister.
since your just a kid, not much you can do but maybe get some professional help for your self and possibly the brother....not much you can do about your very bad (IMO) parents.
try these resources for help and/or ideas:
http://www.adultchildren.org/
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
http://www.codependents.org/
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/sibling_rivalry.html
some of these groups can offer you support and help right on line which will give you some insights into what to do and WHY all this ugliness is happening in your family (and many other families).
don't fall for the lie that it's all genetics, ADHD, natural, just a phase, sibling rivalry, etc. ---- it's all about FAULTY parenting, which you probably know anyway.
good luck
2006-07-21 07:00:08 · answer #6 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are u the younger sister. He does have a inferiority complex to u coz u must be the favourite of ur parents. Also, he seems to have some real problems in his life , ur parents and even u if ur elder to him should have an open , frank and caring conversation with him to understand and learn about his problems.My experience is that people don't have a good behaviour when they are having some problem's or insecurities
2006-07-21 06:46:36 · answer #7 · answered by vio_prince 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off girl, I am so sorry you have to live in that kind of environment. Nobody should. It sounds like your brother is jealous of you. - Which have nothing to do with you and everything to do with the way your parents handled it when you were born. He probably felt left behind and alone.....
I think your brother needs professional help because it does not seem like he is able to communicate his pain and hurt to your parents in a constructive way. He needs help getting past it and clearly your parents are not able to help him.
Please understand he is probably hurting so bad inside and this is the only way he can show it, maybe the only way he feels he can get your parents attention. It has nothing to do with you even if he says so. He needs professional help. Good luck.
2006-07-21 06:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by dk_angel2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it is that if hes not paying for the phone and Internet services and He wants to charge at your parents!!! He's much to grown for the house He needs to be out on his butt then see how much of a real man he can be when food soap water and shelter ain't coming as easy no more!!!Trust and believe it will be the ultimate wake up call!
2006-07-21 06:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by cocoa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents need to take charge and put him out. He threatens them and they should never put up with that. If he does hit them, call the police on him and let him and your parents know that they can get mad at you all they want but you are not going to stand by and do nothing when he resorts to violence. You cannot make your parents do anything they do not want to do but you can let them know you will not tolerate him acting like a fool.
2006-07-21 06:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are younger than your bro.He thought from the very beginning that you have taken all the love of your parents being younger as parents love more to the younger ones so as to take care of them in the process the elders get ignored.With the passage of time it has increased.I think you should not come in between your parents and your bro.As now he thinks whatever happens is because of you,so be aloof,do not interfere.after some time he will understand but up to that you have to avoid touching his things ,or behave in a way whatever he wants.It will be in your favour.
2006-07-21 06:48:55 · answer #11 · answered by suchsi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋