I moved out with my girlfriend, we have been dating for 2 years and we got an appartment 6 months ago together. I noticed that since we moved out,. her sex drive has slowed quite a bit. Maybe it hasn't and I was just expecting more since we now live together, but it seems we do it less now. Is it mayeb because we see eachother too often, is she bored or something?
I feel like that old marriage clichet where the sex stops once you are married is that happening? We arent married yet!
2006-07-21 06:02:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks alot everyone, the answers so far are really good, I appreciate it, keep it up!
2006-07-21 06:09:40 · update #1
To some degree your right, it has probably slowed down a little bit because you see each other all the time. Some of it is also that you expected it to increase and in reality other than the first couple of months together when it is all new most couples living together eventually fall into more of a pattern. Being married isn't what causes the reduction in sex, it is the constant being together, the familiarity of living with one another. It is harder to get excited about some one you see every day at their very worst. When you weren't living together, you saw each other mostly at your best and because you hadn't seen each other in awhile, there was more pent up desire. Also, now that your living together there are probably more responsibilities for each of you in life and in this relationship. All that takes away from the intensity of your relationship. None of this means that you two love each other any less, it is just the normal stuff of a long term relationship. You are also going to find that as your relationship goes forward, the lust factor decreases. This is because when you first are with someone there is a chemical reaction in your body that is responsible for that initial lust and euphoria. Over the years, that chemical change in your body slowly fades.
2006-07-21 06:11:45 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
It is normal, you will go through spells of lots of sex or little sex. The appeal is lost because she can see you and have sex with you any time she wants, so there is less pressure to do it while yall are together. It does pick up. My husband and i moved in together after 5 years of dating, and it did seem like the sex slowed, but you are together every night including the ones you would have had apart before you moved in together so it seems like less. Just keep things like you are dating. Go out on dates, don't act like an old married couple. I have to tell my husband all the time that just because we are married does not mean we can't still date each other. Our sex life is better than ever now, but the quality is better rather than the quantity. Also take it as a sign that she is satisfied with you and your love, it does not have to be about sex all the time. It is nice to be close and watch tv or a movie. It all comes with the territory of a meaningful relationship. Don't over analyze!!
2006-07-21 06:16:20 · answer #2 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both might not have been ready to cohabitate. That's a big step and it seems simple enough, but it's a lot of work for both of you. Even when you live together, you need to take your own personal "ME" time...it could be scheduling one night a week with your guy friends and meanwhile, she can have dinner with her girls. You get the idea. You also need to schedule together time, like when you were dating. It helps keep things fresh and fun. Take turns picking those things so you each get to do something you want to do. If she's opposed to any of this, it's a good indicator that she's less into you than she once was. I hope all you guys need is a little shove back on track so things get better. Good luck to you.
2006-07-21 06:09:01 · answer #3 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you considering getting married? Because if you aren't you shouldn't be living together. Maybe she is stressed out. Living with someone can do that to you. Maybe she wants you to consider marriage instead of cheating by living together and having sex. Those kind of thoughts can put a strain on any sexual relationship.
2006-07-21 06:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all when you get married sex does not stop. It get's better. Not for everybody. Now about your girlfriend maybe shes has some things on her mind. Who knows. But ask her if some thing is bothering her if she ask why then tell her why, in a nice way. Tell her that you were conserned that's all.
2006-07-21 06:10:54 · answer #5 · answered by Twilight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's normal...now quit bugging her for sex, and try creating a little romance instead. Cook dinner, dim the lights, Barry White on the ol' Victrola--you get the idea. Maybe she just feels a little taken for granted. Good luck!
2006-07-21 06:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by tiggyman41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, it could be from trying to adjust to seeing each other so much now.. I am married and let me tell you, that whole sex stops thing is BS!!! If anything it is more often now. I would suggest being extra romantic ......There is nothing sexier than a man who can do the laundry and the dishes ;)
2006-07-21 06:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by lt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me and I was in your position. I came to the conclusion we should not have been living together so I moved out and agreed to be friends.
2006-07-21 06:13:15 · answer #8 · answered by Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes living with you now and has you available to her EVERY DAY. sometimes a long day of work - you are just tired and want to sleep. maybe try to romance her before or right after dinner. dont wait until bedtime when she's exhausted!
or even wake her up gently in the morning before work with some nookie!
2006-07-21 06:06:28 · answer #9 · answered by Queen Nefertiti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry. That sounds like the situation that I am in. After my fiance and I moved in together he doesn't give me any anymore. I don't know what to do either. It's not like I am boring in bed when we do have sex it great but we hardly have it. :(
2006-07-21 06:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋