there are times when he gives me more happiness than anything else in the world, and at other times he gives me more pain than anything else... how do i balance it out? My emotions always get the best of me and I tend to lash out at him whenever i feel misunderstood or mistreated... though it's unintentional on his part... we've been together for a year and are considering marriage, but i keep interrupting the relationship by trying to break up with him whenever i get too emotional... am i just being manipulative? how do i become a better partner???? because my sole desire is to make him happy... and be happy too....
2006-07-21 05:56:50 · 7 answers · asked by constanze_mylove 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hmm.. i would say although it is unintentional on his part to misunderstand/mistreat you...that's not the main factor. i would say the main factor is that you FEEL that way, for whatever reasons, his actions or inactions make u feel that way. if he is trying to do all he can to work on that, that is ALL he can do. if you are trying to be as undestanding as you can, that's ALL u can do. now that being said..is it possible that perhaps u both have different goals, different ways of thinking, and different ways of communicating that detract from ur ability to work things out?? if so, and compromise is not happening.... be careful but make a stand for what kind of person you Want to be, and what kind of person you want to be With. if you find yourself not growing in a positive way with this guy, perhaps u need to find yourself first in order to be a good girlfriend, to ANYONE. if you feel that he is doing all he can, and you are just "manipulating" him, it is you that needs to work on your own self, what makes you happy and UN manipulative. whether he helps u or not is the question, but underlying thing is you need to figure out what makes you happy, for yourself, and then you can bring someone else in the picture and think about marriage etc. and don't forget that this person has to be able to understand and love everything about you, even if u are emotional. i am very sensitive too, and all the guys in my past told me i had emotional problems cuz my parents were divorced etc... my boyfriend now thinks that i have Valid reasons for my sensitivity, and that whenever i bring anything up or get upset, he tries to validate that first before he finds me to be "over emotional.".. dont' let someone tell you that your feelings are not correct or important.. in fact, when u overreact, it's cuz this person means so much more to you than some guy off street!!!
u said your sole desire is to make him happy...is his sole desire to make you happy?? if it IS and you still have problems, that's an answer... probably just not right for eachother..at least at this time. that doesnt' mean you don't love each other enough..it just means you may not be right for each other... and that's ok. if you really love them, i think u sometimes have to let them go in order to find something that really does make them happy, w/o so much effort! some of it should come naturally, some of it work. but overall it shouldn't be like pulling teeth......if u love each other unconditionally, u would fight yeah, but not want to break up... =T
2006-07-21 09:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you'd be doing yourselves a favor if you waited before any proposals are made. How about trying to TALK to him instead of yell? If you can't figure out how to do that without coming across as a mega b**** then maybe you need to see a counselor so you can learn how to communicate productively. A year is a really short amount of time to be with someone and decide on marriage. Unless you plan on making this man miserable forever (and yourself as well) then you need to get to the root of your issues immediately. It can be done. Good luck!
2006-07-21 06:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok...
First of all, don't be quick to break up with him.
Second...Filter out your emotions first...
Don't act on first impulse.
As far as balancing it out...no need to try to balance out...
Try to stay positive, don't be quick to say what's on your mind, and things will fall into place rather than being equal...
best of luck and remember...
put your pride aside at times...that may be your # 1
achilles heal!
2006-07-21 06:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by Schizm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is mixed with all emotions. as u said he makes u happy and gives u pain but love does not only give happines. when he is beside u ,u feel as if ur in heaven when he is away from u it seems lik a hell tat is wat love is. i think u rly dont love him if u rly do so u cant think abt broke up
2006-07-21 06:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by kushiforguys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it more time and if you find yourself more miserable then happy drop his butt. Don't fight for something that isn't there.
2006-07-21 06:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by Snuggles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds more like lust to me as apposed to love, you should talk to him and tell him what you feel, if he doesnt understand, or doesnt see it, then you should not marry him
hope you figure things out
2006-07-21 06:03:26 · answer #6 · answered by Matt M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL THATS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT. YOU LOVE EACHOTHER SO MUCH YOU CANT STAND EACHOTHER YET WHEN YOU FIGHT THERE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT
2006-07-21 06:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by MzBadHabit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋