I have been dating two guys for over two years (they don't know about each other). I know, I know it is wrong. But I cannot make it right - I love both of them and my attemps to break up with one of them are fruitless. I am very afraid to hurt myself and one of the guys. I've spent months thinking about which one is right for me, but cannot decide. Any suggestions will be appreciated.
2006-07-21 03:38:40 · 16 answers · asked by Kaytee 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
PS - menage a trois is not an answer for me.
2006-07-21 03:39:09 · update #1
Obviously you are not in love with either one of them. With love comes respect and you obviously don't respect either one of them. My suggestion grow up
2006-07-21 03:42:37 · answer #1 · answered by Alissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GURRRRRRRRRRRL I have been there done that an its really hard 2 chose unfortunately i chose the wrong guy!!!!!! But the one i should have been with is my Lil Scooby (my best friend).And the thing is if we would have gotten together things wouldn't have worked bcuz we care so much 4 each other that if we where 2 break up it would have hurt our friendship.But kno this u cant love 2 people at one time your heart is not built like that my Lil Scooby told me that. Lil do u kno the one that's really gonna hurt is u over an over again cuzz ur playin 2 sides an wat goes around.......But all i can say is sit an think about pros an cons with both an once u do that it will all come 2 u. And the one u don't chose sit down with him an tell him that u just want 2 b his friend don't break his heart more by just cuttin him off!!!!!! I don't kno if i made any sense but i hope i have helped a Lil !!!!! GOOD LUCK an hit me up @ maetese20041@yahoo.com an let me kno wat happened
2006-07-21 11:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by maetese20041 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
decide that one of them has the most same/simular interests as you do. Basically the soul mate.
I never have been in love with 2 guys at the same time...right now...just one...he has been the one I have loved for like 7-8 years. He's someone i didn't know before I meet him...but now he's my bff. He knows all about the love I have for him, and i am happy he knows. Im in love with him...and have been...no matter who I have dated I have always liked my bff more than them, cuz i know he is the one i have been searching for...for all these years...he's my soul mate and my missing peice to my puzzle. I love him.
2006-07-21 10:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by ♥mcmanda♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, for starters you aren't being honest with anyone. You aren't being honest with either of them, and you are leading yourself to believe that you can have a healthy relationship with either one, even though you have gotten comfortable betraying both of them. The decision is not yours to make believe it or not.
You need to be honest with both of them and let them know you have been betraying them both. Then, one of them might decide to keep you, even then, they will never trust you again.
The question of loving two people is a mute point. It sounds like you just don't want to be single and are enfatuated with what these two men provide you with, namely security.
Why would you want to choose between these two guys if you've been cheating for 2 years? What does that mean? "I've cheated, betrayed and lied for 2 years, but now, I'm only going to be lying to one person, because I don't want them to know I've been sleeping with other men...".
You need to be honest with both of these men if you want any semblance of a real relationship. What you have now is two men that believe they are the only ones. You can keep lying to them, or come out and be honest. If you truly love someone, you will set them free, and if they come back, then you will know that they love you too.
2006-07-21 10:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by largegrasseatingmonster 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For those of you that are sooo judgemental, she tried to break up with one and was unsuccessful. Who are you to judge anyones morals or ethics. Leave her alone and worry about your selves!
That is the answer to your question, break it off no matter how it hurts and tell the other what has been going on and what you have done. Hope he takes it well and lets it pass.
Good Luck
2006-07-21 10:49:30 · answer #5 · answered by KLU 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well number one if you can date the two fo them with no conscience, you don't really love either one of them you just enjoy their company. you should reevaluate yourself and your priorities. see you have become used to being with both of them and your fruitless efforts are due to you being in your comfort zone, so this actually sounds like a personal problem.
2006-07-21 10:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by Paktown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider this young one; introduce the two fellows to each other and spell out your concerns and problems to them. Whichever one who backs out in favor of the other is the one you should chose; as his love for you is greater; and if he puts your happiness over his then he should be the one to go for.
2006-07-21 10:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not con't with dating both of them? I see nothing wrong with that. You are obviously sharing your love between the 2, and if they are happy....I think that when one of them decides that you might be "the one" then you might have to rethink your choice. ...Is there any rush to end either relationship?
Again, I don't think it is wrong for you to do this...
2006-07-21 10:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by jonny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your heart. Imagine who will make the best husband. Who will be able to priovide for you. Who will be a great dad? Who loves you for you and not just as a sex object? Then you will be able to decide which is best.
2006-07-21 10:46:12 · answer #9 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with the one who loves you more, which one puts your happiness first, obviously if you have tried to break up with one of them , you made some kind of choice there. BREAK UP with him and marry the other one. Good Luck!!
2006-07-21 10:43:26 · answer #10 · answered by perplexed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋