A long time ago, but not as long ago as scientists say, God decided to drown everyone on earth because men and women were wicked in heart and their thoughts were continually evil and primetime TV hadn’t been invented yet to capitalize on all of it.
But Noah found favor with God because other than his drinking problem, Noah was squeaky clean. Also Noah had a large family who were all very fertile and full of love so God knew they could repopulate the whole earth in no time.
So God told Noah that even though he was going to kill all of the humans, he wanted to save the skunks, the houseflies, the sharks, the rattlesnakes, the scorpions, the spiders, etc… so Noah was to build a large Ark and march millions of species onboard from all over the earth so they will be saved from the flood.
2006-07-21 03:17:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Noah asked God, “what about the fish?” God said, “they can swim.” Noah said, “but if the flood is fresh water, all of the salt water fish will die.” “If the flood is salt water, all of the fresh water fish will die.” God said, “Shut up.”
So Noah and his sons built the ark and marched every species on earth aboard in pairs and sevens. Then God flooded the earth and Noah watched the bubbles come up as all the men, women, children, and babies sank beneath the water and drowned. Glub, glub…
Months later the ark landed in some mountains in a place where thousands of years later people keep seeing it, but no one has managed to take a decent picture of it.
The End…
2006-07-21 03:17:24 · update #1
Your version sounds much more accurate than the Biblical one. Kudos!
2006-07-21 03:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And on the ark was a special freezer-room for the Penguins and Polar Bears..
Where did Noah place the insects, though?
Did they march onto the ark in pairs, too?
Gnats....they're so small....how could Noah keep tabs on them?
What about the microscopic creatures? Where were they placed?
With all the forms of life on Earth...one would have to assume that the ark was absolutely HUGE....bigger than the Queen Mary or the Titanic.
If there was that big of a flood, the ark would have never made it past the first 30-foot wave.
2006-07-21 03:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by Spencer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only have there been decent pictures of the ark taken, but they even went and actually built a tourist center there by it.
Go to the following website to see pics.
Noah did not have a large family. He only had 3 sons.
There is a ton of scientific evidence that supports the flood. Go to the link below to see it.
There are many many things in the Bible that have been thought to be false. But in the last 50 years or so, much evidence for the validity of the Bible has been unearthed in historical and archaeological findings. Do you discount this because it makes you uncomfortable in your belief system?
2006-07-21 03:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by songoftheforest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the tale about Noah may be stumbled on interior the Bible in Genesis chapters 6-9. Noah stumbled on grace interior the eyes of the Lord. those are the generations of Noah: Noah turned right into a only guy and correct in his generations, and Noah walked with God. Genesis 6:8-9 God Bless You
2016-10-15 01:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by may 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That pretty much covers it. Of course, the salt water fish would survive because the oceans are deep and the flood wouldn't be bad enough to dilute the oceans enough to kill off the salt water fish.
2006-07-21 03:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by Linda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love your retelling! did you know our CIA actually spent tens of thousands trying to find that ark?
i like to retell the god so loved the world thing, which ties right into Noah.
After God banned humans from heaven, he decided we could never get back in. Then, he flip-flopped. He missed us. Now, he's lord of the universe and in charge of it all, but still, his hands were tied and he couldn't let us in. So, he thought and he thought, till his puzzler was sore, and then he remembered his cousin Zeus, next door.
Zeus was always going to earth, mating with earth maidens, and thereby producing saviours like heracles and perseus. So, God decides to try it, too. He goes down to earth, mates with a maiden, and produces an incredible son, a person more enlightened than any other who ever walked the earth. SO, naturally, God decides that, in order for humans to get back to him in heaven, God will incite the humans to murder his most perfect son, so that we can all slide back into heaven on his son's blood.
!
Do you have any more retellings?
2006-07-21 03:30:52 · answer #6 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so, i like the part about the fish. But what is your point with this? The noah's ark story is just that- a story- so if your looking for a definitive fact or reality in it, you won't find it.
2006-07-21 03:24:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, once he'd loaded all the dinosaurs, he decided to rename it: Noah's Submarine. ;-)
See, if Sunday School had included stories like this, I might have been more interested in attending :-D
2006-07-21 03:23:19 · answer #8 · answered by bobkgin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noah (PBUH) flood was regional. The whole earth was not flooded.
2006-07-21 03:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by A K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you don't believe in or trust in God.
2006-07-21 03:21:32 · answer #10 · answered by cathyhewed1946 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋