I'm looking for any clean jokes to make me laugh today. Have you received any in your e-mail today that you can cut and paste? Thanks.
2006-07-21 01:45:16 · 8 answers · asked by Mommymonster 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Sardarji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes
2006-07-21 01:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by azharuddin_mhd 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
2006-07-21 02:10:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear the one about the broken pencil?
There's no point to it.
Did you hear the one about the vaccuum?
It's Hoover done. Besides, it sucks.
Did you hear the one about the guy whose parachute wouldn't open?
It's a smash hit! Actually, it's a big let-down.
Did you hear the one about the anaconda?
It's really long.
Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't talk?
It's dumb.
Did you hear the one about the toilet paper?
Oh, man, don't get me on a roll!
Did you hear the one about the umbrella?
It's over your head.
Did you hear the one about the road?
Man, that one's running all over town.
Did you hear the one about the cow?
It's udderly ridiculous, but it's fun to milk it for all it's worth. Just make sure you don't take it too farm.
and so forth...
2006-07-21 01:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie Jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Terry,
Here
Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
2006-07-21 01:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by sarver i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you heard the one about the bed...? You haven't? Well, I'm not surprised. You see, it hasn't been made up yet!
2006-07-21 02:57:17 · answer #5 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Answer: European
2006-07-21 01:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by sugar&spice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am trying to clean it
2006-07-21 02:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by WOLVERINE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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Author You Did It...great....(Funny and hilarious) (Read 1172 times)
crissy2
Joke Master
Always keep smiling You Did It...great....
« on: May 10, 11:34am » “”Quote Reply
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[b][/b] Not Every Tree can Stand Thirst
But Cactus Did it.
Not Every Animal can Represent a Nation
But Lion Did it.
Not Every Flower Can Represent Love
But Roses Did it.
Not Every Monkey Can Read Jokes
[sub][/sub]
But You Did it !!!!
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"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."
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crissy2
Joke Master
Always keep smiling Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 03:30pm » “”Quote Reply
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yea
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anonymous
Guest
Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 06:59am » “”Quote Reply
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THAT WAS A GOOD ONE
Me N Max Forever
Joke Master
Preserve the Serenity of Life Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 10:44am » “”Quote Reply
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lol
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~*~Chelsea--Max's #1 Fan!!!~*~
Posts: 251 Jokes: 242 Send PM
Me N Max Forever
Joke Master
Preserve the Serenity of Life Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 10:51am » “”Quote Reply
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i like them
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Me N Max Forever
Joke Master
Preserve the Serenity of Life Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 10:51am » “”Quote Reply
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and b/t/w im pround of being a monkey!!!!
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monkeylover
Sr. Member
i believe in dreaming..... Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 10:56am » “”Quote Reply
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he me n max forever
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carazeeee............carazzzzeeeeee................CARAZZZEEEE
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monkeylover
Sr. Member
i believe in dreaming..... Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 10:57am » “”Quote Reply
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*hey
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monkeylover
Sr. Member
i believe in dreaming..... Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 10:58am » “”Quote Reply
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u love maxie ....................
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TwiLiGhT
Joke Master
Our lives are like a candle in the wind Re:you Did It...great....
« Reply #9 on: Jun 15, 10:30am » “”Quote Reply
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hehehe
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I uSeD 2 HaV aN oPeN mInD bUt My BrAiNs KePt FalLiNg OuT!
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2006-07-21 01:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by brandie m 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋