I had a conversation on MSN with my guy last night and he was saying lots of stuff about how he wan't sure if he had the time for his work (which is VERY time consuming and stressfull for him), his friends and a relationship. He also said he didn't want to get hurt and didn't want to hurt anybody either. We are meeting in a few days to discuss it all. I'm going to listen to all he has to say, but I don't know if I should try to work things out, or walk away and cut all my strings?
Thing is, he has hurt me by saying that cso over the last month I've discovered that I've fallen really badly for him. If this had happened over a month ago I could almost have just walked away and got on with my life.
He has given no other reason other than lack of time. And I think we get on fantastically when we are together.
Should I try to make it work or walk away?
2006-07-21 01:01:59 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry to say this, but the truth is, if he really wanted to be in a relationship, he would make time.
Listen to what he has to say, but then just ask him - do you want to be with me or not? Some people just don't want to be honest because they don't want to hurt your feelings, and they find other ways to say they want to break up rather than just coming out and saying it.
Be kind, be sensitive, be caring, but get him to say yes or no. Don't put him on the defensive - make sure he knows it's okay to say no, you just want the truth. And if he says no - walk away.
I know it doesn't seem like it now, but trust me, there are other guys out there. And if he is the right one, he'll figure out he made a mistake and make time for you.
Good luck!
2006-07-21 01:09:17 · answer #1 · answered by kendallsan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I'm 59 years old so please listen to what I say...run, don't walk away from this guy. My 4 year relationship with a man I loved with all my heart just ended because 'he didn't have the time'...HA...When they start saying they don't want to get hurt and don't want to hurt anyone then you better know that your going to get hurt. When they start talking about having time for for work, friends and relationships, you know it's time to move on. It will be hard but think about yourself first. It's all up to you. Do you want to try to make it work? In which case it might work for a small amount of time and then he'll decide he doesn't have the time, meanwhile your feelings for him have gotten stronger and you'll be hurt even worse. Or walk away now while you have the courage. If your asking if you should walk away now then you must have the courage to do it. Good Luck...
2006-07-21 08:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by ctryhnny04 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it work partner, You love him and maybe He loves you too...he doesn't have time for everybody but he sure has time for you ..proof - that he has been talking to you. He is just worried that his work is taking up all the time and he is not finding enough time to spend with family and friends, and its a hint that "would you mind if I don't talk to you all the time (because I am busy) or if we are not able to meet too often?"
And I am sure he is working hard so that when you guys are together he can provide you with all the luxuries you deserve, just make him realise that you would be with him through thick and thin and try to solve whatever his problem is.
he said he doesn't want anybody to get hurt so don't let anybody get hurt!
2006-07-21 08:14:21 · answer #3 · answered by sans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a lovely person, and this man is treating you like you are just another work problem. Their are a million men out there who would love you more than their work and finding the right one can be fun. You have just had the misfortune to give your heart to the wrong guy, go look for another and this time be the boss. Never let any one trample your dreams, there's a soul mate out there, and he's waiting just for you. The pain leaves you as you find the right path, the one that leads you to real love.
2006-07-21 10:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and make it work if youve fallen for him, explain to him that you will be there for him even when things are hectic. If you like the guy alot don't cut your strings because youre probably not gonna meet alot more like him. Explain this to him while you meet up in a few days. If he is busy with his work this probably means he wont have alot of dating time but if hes worth it be prepared to go out on weekends.
Hope I helped :)
2006-07-21 08:07:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok babe, first off you need to establish whether what hes saying about not having the time is an excuse and a nice way of letting you down, or is he seriously bogged down? Then you need to think about is he also letting his mates go - or just you - if its just you then you have your answer there and walk away from it.
We all have pressures between jobs/friends/families/hobbies/social life etc - but we DO all manage to work around them and make time for other things.
personally speaking I think from what you've said about him not having time and getting hurt etc that hes trying to let you down gently. All I can advise you to say is that you be honest with him about how you feel about him - tell him you're prepared to work around his schedule - and if hes still cribbing about things - move on to a man that DOES appreciate you. When you're in love with someone, you'll do anything to spend time with them - just make sure that its on equal terms.
Best of luck hun
2006-07-21 08:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is a workaholic; he always has been, even when we were dating. (we've been married over 25 years). What does not having enough time for you mean, every day or every week, and what amount of time is acceptable for you.
Best advise is to talk to him and let him know your needs concerning his time. Find out how he feels about you. If you both love each other, both of you can find a way to make it work. If not, walk away now before the lack of attention makes you nuts.
2006-07-21 08:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is prolly just scared that something may go wrong so he uses his lifestyle as the excuse. Don't meet him cut ya losses an find a man that has no doubts about you. Cos u met on the net theres no history or emotional attachment so just move on before you get too involved cos it seems u can do much better
2006-07-21 08:09:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you think is right at the time. But don't try and make something work if it is not what you both want.
you seem a very sensitive, caring person: someone right will come along at just the right time!
I always say: you'll find what or who you are looking for as soon as you stop looking.
2006-07-21 08:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by Maids Moreton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that he is worth the effort then try rather than being regretfullyy if you do not try to work things out!!! BUT i do have to add that if he does not want the relationship to work anymore there is not a chance your going to redeem this relationship by yourself cause for a relationship to work you both need to work on it!!!
All that i really want to say is do not do anything to be regretfull about!!!
Good luck!!
2006-07-21 08:09:27 · answer #10 · answered by kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋