also i think that if i do prove it my mum still wont leave him and just accept is as she is old fashioned. I feel really sick and nervous and i hate him and the woman!
2006-07-21 00:39:39 · 41 answers · asked by smart_babe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Mr/Mrs FREE PARKING...that was in reference to friends and other issues. This is fact....i have my facts straight! Not an over analysis!
2006-07-21 01:21:34 · update #1
Have you confronted your dad with your suspicions? Perhaps knowing what he is doing to his child's feelings could modify his extracurricular activities. Good luck.
2006-07-21 00:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by viclyn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you go sneaking around then you are no better than him.
I don't think you have to prove anything.
If he's so obvious that you know then your mother probably knew it before you did.
It's not a good idea to take sides in a situation like this. The reasons the marriage is in trouble are not your business.
Your mother and father have to decide if they stay together for you or if there's too much water under the bridge to reconnect.
Don't hate your father or the other woman who loves him. Hate is a negative emotion that just makes you feel bad. I'm sure he still loves you.
Talk to him about it. Ask what's going on. Is he leaving? Is he getting divorced? Has he considered your feelings?
Talking things out calmly may help him to look at his behavior from another point of view and evaluate this affair. Is it a fling or is he really in love? Has he thought about the future or lost in the moment. Is he just in it for sex?
Try to be more understanding. It won't be long before he's questioning your choices of lovers.
If you can communicate with him when he's in the wrong it will be a lot easier when you have the same problems later in your own life.
2006-07-21 01:12:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't.
Why do you want to prove it - it sounds like your mum wouldn't want to know even if you did.
The best thing you can do is make sure you are never in a situation like that. Don't hate them - its just their way and (in my opinion) a wrong way to go through life.
Both my parents had countless affairs - everyone knew about it and I couldn't understand if they were that unhappy with each other they didn't just divorce. But in the end they did leave each other and finally everything was out in the open.
If you try and catch your dad out then both of your parents might blame your for shattering their "everything is ok" bubble. Leave well enough alone and just make sure you never get in that situation.
Good luck
2006-07-21 00:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What will you do if you do find out? Will you tell your mother? I think this is a really hard one - been there, myself, too.
Your Dad might not want to listen to you - he's in luurvve and for some reason, men in this situation don't put their families first. Unless they fear they'll lose something. It might all blow over, but then again, it might not.
The worst thing in the worls is watching your family disintegrate before your eyes. You could say something like: "I feel uncomfortable about your friendship with this woman" but be prepared for denial and lies. Or it might be the truth.
There is no answer, my love, just hang in there, realise life is a ***** and never ever do it to your kids.
2006-07-21 00:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably just stay out of it. Let your Dad make his own mistakes, and your Mother too. It's their relationship. The relationships you need to worry about are your relationships with the two of them. The last thing you want is, wether you are right or wrong, to ruin your relationship with your Pop. My Father used to beat me, and was not there for me, ever. As an adult we still have a relationship, not a very good one, but it's not bad either. Cheating on your Mother is just that, cheating on her, not you. Letting his indescression hurt you is not an attitude that will be healthy for you in the long run. You should step back and let what will be, be.
2006-07-21 00:49:22 · answer #5 · answered by vertical732 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense whatsoever, but if your dad is you making the issue upfront isn't going to help..
Do you really think if you go out of your way to get "Evidence" and proove it to your mum that it is going to make the issue better? No.. it will probably make it worse , cause arguements , friction etc.. So either way he won't stop.
Don't hate your dad or the other woman it happens all the time you just have to learn to accept it.
2006-07-21 00:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by kixXx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think this over really well. I know that it must make you mad but, it's your parents problem. You say that your Mum wouldn't leave him anyway even if you proved it, so maybe you should just leave it. Just try and get on with your own life and let them sort out their own stuff. Hating them isn't going to change anything, except make you more miserable. Good luck!
2006-07-21 00:59:34 · answer #7 · answered by Ana T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are really having a problem, and I guess it hurts too. You should ask your dad about how you feel, and your thoughts. You are having problems with it, cause if you tell, you are afraid of the consequenses. You should also tell your mum, cause it affects her just as much as it affects you, and it is not bad telling her. Get your parents together and tell them what you know and how you think. This really shouldn't be your problem in the first place, but it must be terrible to live in it. You have a nice day!
John
2006-07-21 01:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by Scorpion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should mind your own business and stay out of it, particularly if you feel that your mum would still stay with him. This is between y our parents and only them. If he is having an affair he is betraying the relationship between him and your mum and not between him and you. If you prove it and tell your mum it will make her very unhappy and as you say she will proably still stay with him.
If it is making you feel ill, you might quietly ask your dad if it is true but firstly you might not like the answer you get, and secondly your dad might not give you a truthful answer anyway.
2006-07-21 01:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
However it may seem to you, unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. It's something between your parents. No matter how you dislike your parents behaviour: your mother being old-fashioned and your father cheating..That's their relationship and they could do anything they wish about it. People dislike to be told about what they should do about their lives and relationships. One thing is when we observe it from the outside and completely different when we're actually in the relationship. This affair might be short and things could soon get better as they were. It wouldn't be really wise for you to tell your mother about the whole sitaution. You might make her angry about your father and prevent them settling things between themselves..
2006-07-21 01:38:17 · answer #10 · answered by Psychologist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well first i think you need to think about your worst case scenario - ie what would happen if you did catch him -and also, what if he isn't but finds out that you suspect him or have been trying to find out behind his back instead of confronting him directly - etc.
If you really want to go through with it, you could either hire somebody (probably the best way if you have the dosh) to follow him and get photographic evidence
Or you could do that yourself, but then you would have to be v sneaky, checking his mobile and emails, looking at his bank accounts, etc.
However, if you think your mom would accept the situation anyhow - what would be the value of doing this? And would you or she be happy if they were to split up?
Whatever happens - good luck and I hope it works out.
2006-07-21 00:45:31 · answer #11 · answered by Squirrel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋