My 9 yo son threw his 3 yo brother in the swimming pool...?

Question

If he was your son, what kind of punishment would you give him?
The 3 yo got out ok cause my husband was in the pool and grabbed him...

People, calm down. He did get a spanking and a time out!!! And we did talk to him and explained that what he did was dangerous and potentially harmful for his brother. He was not trying to hurt him, though!!!

And dr. Gus, both my husband and I have done a great job bringing him up!!! He`s a great kid but he`s naughty as all kids are.

Answer 1

Carla, I think he WAS trying to hurt him, as big brothers tend to do, but I do NOT think he was trying to kill him. I think your punishment was very sufficient. It's exactly what I would have done.

Answer 2

If he loves the pool, take privileges away for awhile. Did you explain the potential consequences of his actions if dad wasn't there? Like death and further consequences in his life from that? This is very serious and needs to be treated as such. He should also be made to give positive attention to the 3 year old. Don't know what your 3 year old's reaction or frame of mind was during the incident, but you want that episode to be balanced with positive actions from big brother for sure. Monitor their interactions carefully. Don't want your nine year old continuing hurtful behavior.

Answer 3

Well, I don't believe in spankings. I can't say it has NEVER happened here, but I consider those some of our worst parenting moments.

For a situation like that, I'd have probably ended the swimming session and put the older child "in service" to the child who was thrown in.

"In service" is something that we often do here if you harm someone else or their property. If you are "in service" to someone, you must basially serve them for the rest of the day. For example, if we go out, the person in service would need to bring the other child their shoes, coat, backpack, etc. They would have to help the other person for the rest of the day, clean up after them, etc. My kids HATE this consequence and will usually do anything to avoid it.

Answer 4

Well punishments aren't always the best ways, but you are his mother and "mommy knows the best". I say you must tell him why it's bad what he was done, some parents always says to the children"Don't do that" and that's all. You must teach him what it's good and bad and give him all the explanations, he must understand why was it wrong, then you must punish him but do not beat him or give him a too hard punishment. His young and doesn't know all good and bad.Forbid him to play with his friends or near the swimming pool. This is only my opinion. You are a mother, and a good one I believe, so do what you must and think before you do it.

I told you, you're the mother and you know what's the best for your children than we do.

Answer 5

you must punish after the deed is done.after a day or so your child wont have a clue why he is being punished.i would keep him out of the pool a few days but if his brother was hurt a week or more and no tv or video games. dont allow him to do anything fun get him a book to read and have him writr you a book report on the book.this will help him in the long run

Answer 6

I think the punishment that you gave him was good enough, but you should explain to him that if you, or your husband hadn't been there, that the 3 year old could have drowned.. explain to him what that is.... and make sure that he understands that things like that are NOT tolerated. If it had of been my sons..I don't know what I would do.. but my husband would probably make the kid cry with visions of what could have happened to his brother.

Answer 7

That depends.... was your 9yo being hateful toward your 3yo and going against any established rules? Or was he just being a playful brother not realizing the danger involved. If he was being hateful, I feel a swift and harsh penalty is in order, but if he was being playful, perhaps this is a good time to establish some common sense ground rules to be followed around the pool.

Answer 8

I wouldn't punish him as its clear that you have done a poor job bringing him up. Obviously you should explain why throwing his 3 yr old brother in a pool is a bad idea but I would leave it at that.

Answer 9

Simple. Ground him from the pool for a week. Make sure that he is able to see your other son enjoying himslef in or near it during that time. That should rectify the situation and the punishment will fit the crime.

Answer 10

don't punish him just have a talk with him n tell may be u can swim but he is small n is still a learner so pls. don't repeat it again. may be u'r kid is jealous of small one due to sharing of parents love. same is happening in our house my elder daughter is 5 yrs n my younger daughter is 6 months only n because I'm not able to pay full attention to elder one as i did for 5 yrs. she is jealous of her but be cool do not punish. instead give elder one responsibilities of younger one like taking care when u'r in bathroom / kitchen etc. it really works in my case.