any greenminded,please, the funniest and the most geenmindest have 10 points. promise, any.... just want 2 see one funny greenminded joke!
2006-07-20 21:28:17 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed
the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.
"Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked.
"Nope," Jimmy replied.
"Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.
"Nope."
"You didn't steal it, did you?"
"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other
night when they 'doing the nasty'. Dad gave me his watch to get
rid of me.
Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely
jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself.
That night he waited outside his parents' room until he heard the
unmistakable noises of lovemaking. Johnny swung the door wide
open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid
stroke, turned and asked him angrily; "What do you want now?"
"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said, "Fine. Stand in the
corner and keep quiet, then!"
2006-07-20 22:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Gilmore♥ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
2006-07-21 05:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by capster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says,
"Touchdown, tie score!"
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says,
"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"
Not to be outdone, the wife rips another one and says,
"Touchdown, tie score!"
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"
Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has, but instead of farting he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"
The old man replied, "Half-time, switch sides!"
2006-07-21 04:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by ethermanx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Red Or Green
Two men are sitting in the doctor's office. The one looks at the other one and says, "What are you here for?"
The man replied "I have a red ring around my p-e-c-k-e-r, What are you here for?"
The other man said, "I have a green ring around my p-e-c-k-e-r."
The doctor called the man with the red ring first in his office and examined him.
As he was walking out he told the other guy it was no problem.
The doctor called the man in with the green ring around his p-e-c-k-e-r and examined him.
The doctor says, "Your p-e-c-k-e-r is gonna fall off and you are gonna die".
The mans says, "What?? You told the man with the red ring he was ok, but I'm gonna die??"
The doctor said, "Yes but there's a lot of difference lipstick and gangrene!"
2006-07-22 05:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a house & knock the door
the person will ask who's there
Say Idunup.
He will ask Idunup who ( I done a poo )
What to do to make a blonde laugh on saturday ? Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
2006-07-21 04:33:20 · answer #5 · answered by The Champ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who brings colored eggs to sea creatures?
The oyster bunny.
How do you know which end of a worm is the head? Tickle the middle and see which end laughs.
2006-07-21 04:51:15 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q:How do you drown a blonde?
A:Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
2006-07-21 04:35:28 · answer #7 · answered by Matt 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most women with breast cancer have a boyfriend or a hausband that smokes...
2006-07-21 04:34:45 · answer #8 · answered by Louie J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did the monkey fall off the tree ?
it was dead.hahha
2006-07-21 04:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by LiTlE mIsSy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋