ummmmmmmmm just wondering...................?

Question

ok, lets a u r ina realation ship and yo bf or hubby hittes u would u stay or leave and y ?

bc i am in that type of relationship

well it is not me but one of my friends he hitts her all the time and tells her if she leave he will kill her

Answer 1

Once physical abuse starts there is not an end to it. Calling the police isn't going to help any as he will just try to get you to come back to him. It is a cycle of violence where he is nice to you, gets you to trust him, and then he hits yous, and then there is the honneymoon phase where everything is alright. I can almost bet that he has led you to believe that you are nothing without him and his love. If there is violence or other negative behavior call the police if you choose to stay. And keep calling the police until either he gets help or leaves you alone. What you need to do for the safety of you (and your children) is the following:
I would suggest that you tell him the following, "I love you very much and it hurts my feelings when I get hit. If you can't stop hitting me, then I am going to leave you." Sometimes this is not possible as the person is to violent and then the only way out is to escape while he/she is at work.
Then I would create a safety plan with you. I would leave extra keys, clothes, money, and important papers at your parent's house or someone else's house. Create a code word or phrase with your family/friends that if somethine bad is happening at your house that your family/friends will know to call the police. Teach your children safety also, such as leaving the room when the parents fight. Often times, children get hurt as a result of someone throwing something or trying to protect their mom. When and if you leave she needs to take the following with her:
Drivers License/State ID
Birth Certifcate
Children's Birth Certificate*
Social Security Cards
Passports
Green Card*
Work Permit*
Money
Check Book*
Medication
Medical records/immunizations
House and Car keys
Lease/house deed
Car Title
Insurance Papers
Divorce Papers*
Protection Orders*
School Records*
Welfare Identification*
Addess Book
Photographs
children's favorite toys*
Clothes
*may not apply

I hope this helps. If you need anymore information please feel free to contact me.


If you decide to stay, then that is up to you. You may have your reasons. So think about this if you have kids:

If you have little girls: they will grow up to think that it is not love unless they are getting hit/beat, called names, treated like crap, etc.

If you have little boys: they will grow to treat women just like this man is treating you



IF THIS IS FOR A FRIEND: please realize that there maybe a time that he prevets you from talking to her. If this happens then you need to still be there for her, just find ways around it so he doesn't find out. Tell your friend that you love her and care about her and you don't want to see her hurt. Then follow the list above and help her get out. Also please realize that it take an average of 7 times before an abused woman leaves the abuser for good.


Good Luck, if i can be of more assistance, please contact me

Answer 2

This things just go from bad to worse. Why waiting until things are unbearable? The sooner you leave the best for all of you. Do not be sad about leaving him: it is his fault 100%

Answer 3

LEAVE at the first instance, of course. When a man hit once, he will hit the second time around even if he promise he won't. Leave, nothing is there for you but more hitting. I swear...

Answer 4

you should really leave him...you may think he loves you and so you shouldn't leave, but he doesn't love you--love does not equal pain. It sounds like your boyfriend has problems. You need to leave him before it gets worse. Because I am sure the abuse started out verbal, with him calling to names like ***** and slut and whore and all that, and then it became physical abuse. Leave before your life is in danger. Talk to your family if you have any....more important, talk to the police...JUST LEAVE HIM!! you deserve so much better for your life.

God bless you. Good luck...i will pray for you. :)
Many women are stuck in your same situation

Answer 5

LEAVE!!! No one is allowed to hit you, don't let him do it no matter how sorry he is after wards!Get out and find a guy who appreciates you and shows it in a not twisted way. All the best!

Answer 6

LOVE NEVER HURTS! HE IS HURTING YOU, SO LEAVE QUICK. HE PROBABLY DOES OTHER THINGS LIKE PUT YOU DOWN AND YELL AND CALL YOU NAMES AND THOSE ARE AS BAD AS GETTING HIT OR WORSE. YOU NEED TO GET HELP TO REBUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND THEN GET TRAINING, GET A JOB, AND GET ON WITH YOUR GOOD LIFE. NEVER GO BACK BECAUSE HE WILL KEEP DOING THE SAME THING. HIS WORDS AND ACTIONS MUST BE THE SAME AND I KNOW HE TELLS YOU THAT HE WILL NEVER HIT YOU AGAIN, BUT HE DOES. LOVE IS RESPECT AND HE ISN'T RESPECTING YOU AND YOU AREN'T RESPECTING YOURSELF TO KEEP STAYING. GET OUT NOW.yOU DESERVE BETTER!

Answer 7

it's time to leave.. if you don't he'll do it again because by staying you basically told him it's acceptable.. You need to let him know he can't hit you.. (but a little spanking might be OK)

Answer 8

If there was no kids involved then definetely I would leave......In my situation I cant I have kids and they mean the world to me...I sacrifice my heart and my life everyday for my kids having a united family.....Sad? yes but life was never meant to be easy...

Answer 9

OMG I completely DO TOO! like my eyes are sooo dark brown they're black, yet no person notices until eventually it randomly comes up in a convo. so its no longer that vast of a deal.. yet human beings are like woah! you're eyes are black! and im like yeahh certainly... haha!

Answer 10

leave. n if u cant, get yo brother or somebody to beat his as$. then leave. sh!t if a dude ever put his hands on me.... he will not be breathin the next day. on aythang girl. get out of it now.