my dad recently died of cancer leaving my mom in considerable debt
given i am disabled and live on disability and have no obligations (work ect)i moved back home to help my mom keep hr home and catch up. I know i did a good thing and the rite thing .
but not for me ,my friends are 250 miles away and being un able to drive and stuck in the midle of nowhere iv yet to make friends here .
now i fgeel like a selfish peice of sh*t because i find my self tinking of me insead of my mom
i desperately miss my friends and my home and thoug i like being aruond my family i dont feel like im home agin i feel like i need to go home
dose any one understand can any one give advice
dose it make sens to be home but not home ,suronded by family but alone
please coments or advise
please please no religous drible
2006-07-20 19:24:58 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
perhaps i should include the fact the home that we are thrying to keep in my mothers name is filled with the work done with my dads own hands
the kitchen the living room my mothers ofice ,the bath room and porch all modeled by his hand
2006-07-20 19:48:07 · update #1
What a good son you are - moving home for a time to help your mom deal with her loss. I think that is a noble and hard thing to do. You have not come home again - your parent's home will never be the same again. It is perfectly natural for you to miss your life - you need to get back to it.
My advice is to explain to your mom how glad you are to have been able to be here for her, but that you feel you will need to get back to your home and life soon - so let's pick a date.
You might also want to encourage her to move closer to you so that you can visit with her and she won't be so alone - unless she has friends, family or commitments that she couldn't leave for (in which case, she should be fine on her own, right?).
Talk to her about it. You have an opportunity to redefine your relationship with your mother. If you are kind, respectful, and considerate of her feelings you should have no problem. Consider the golden rule - how would you want to be treated in this situation?
It's hard to lose a parent, it is even harder to lose a spouse - particularly after a long run of caretaking. She deserves kind and gentle treatment. If she felt she needed you to stay with her for a year, do you think that would be too much for her to ask of you?
Peace!
2006-07-20 19:33:27 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you and your situation. That must have been a very hard decision for you to make. You're a good son. And I would have done the same thing if that was my mom. I am THAT daughter in my family. Thankfully my parents live 10 minutes away. Is there any way that you could make a plan with your mom to work out a situation to get out of the financial burdens she's facing then maybe move back together where you lived? Or is that completely out of the question? Something to think about. Good luck to you.
2006-07-21 02:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by SoCalGal75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm also disabled I have just recently had to take an early retirement. Moving to take care of your mom is all the honor in the world a child want to do for her. You should be happy because all isn't lost here. If you have given your friends your address which are 250 miles away they would come to you because they would understand your limitations that's if you have had a good connection with them..And yes, I understand being not home and tho you are with family. I have the same I have family in the states and I live abroad . I myself having been home in many years but I know that if I were to take a plane trip back that the old memories would return. I think also you want to have a bit freedom do talk it over with your mom I think she would understand..You have given a commitment which almost always limits our needs. I woud also search for advice to assist you with and for your mom. Good-Luck !
2006-07-21 02:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by Carmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for now, since u are with ur mom. TRY to help her. spend more time with her. Because im sure if u left, she would feel worse, not having anyone around to confort her. As for you, call your frends every now and then. ask them if they can visit u, tell them that it would help u alot if they visited you. RIGHT NOW, your mom needs COMFORT. she needs some one to be with. And thats y u should be there. to help her around! im sorry about your dad. and i wish you and your mom good luck! may your dad rest in peace!...
2006-07-21 02:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by singing soul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you have too much time to think about bs get a hobby and good luck read the Bible
2006-07-21 02:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by ate up 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋