Me and my lady have been steady for about 15 months, we've been sexually active for most of them, now my previous partners I have been able to make them ***, and orgasm with not much trouble..but my new g/f, who has only been with 1 guy before, and only had sex once, has never had an orgasm, and I try and try and try to make her have one, I try foreplay first, fingering, licking, getting all hot n bothered then having sex....nothing...is there something wrong with what im doing? maybe its her? HELP!!
2006-07-20 19:15:35 · 13 answers · asked by David G 3 in Health ➔ Other - Health
Thanks for the tips guys, but I have tried everything I can think of...I have had a few partners in the past, and I think I am pretty good at what I do..we do foreplay all the time, I go down on her for 15-20 mins sometimes, even get out the toys which she loves....she is active cause she is horny...i judt dont friggin get it..im frustrated...she says she satisfyed, but i wont be until she cums damnit..lol
2006-07-20 19:22:19 · update #1
Also some more helpful tips, but we try using toys, we both like using them, and I have tried to get her to masterbate, but she wont..not even with me not around...refuses...blah..
2006-07-20 19:24:28 · update #2
lehanna,
we are both completely comfortable with eachother, no problems there what-so-ever, i appreciate everyones responces, im going to ask her if she would like to see a sex therapist with me, maybe they could help a bit.
2006-07-20 19:27:19 · update #3
She sounds inexperienced. The truth is, most women can't orgasm until they've given themselves a few first.
I will bet any money you want that it's not you that's the problem - you're trying very, very hard, and haven't had any complaints before.
Talk to her openly about it without being blaming. Tell her you want her to feel pleasure as you do, and tactfully suggest that she stimulate herself to orgasm while you watch to see what she likes. You could hold her and kiss her while she masturbates. If she can do it for herself, she can do it with you. If she can't ... then she needs some help from a few good sex manuals. Kim Catterall from "Sex in the City" has one out which is meant to be good and very hands-on useful.
PS Don't use vibrators to help her - they make women who have problems less sensitive and even less likely to orgasm during sex.
2006-07-20 19:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
From what I've heard, the best way for her to work out what works is for her to masturbate. She needs to be totally relaxed, so she may not want you there. Also a vibrator may help to her to get there. Some women never orgasm in their life, but I'm pretty sure that when she's totally comfortable and works out what she likes best she'll get there.
By the way, most women DON'T orgasm during penetration alone, so keep up all the other stuff, as this is probably your best option to get her there.
P.S. If she is of legal drinking age than try a few drinks. I always find it easier if I've had a few drinks and am relaxed. But only a few, you don't want her falling asleep on you! And don't have many yourself, you don't want to be all droopy!
2006-07-20 19:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem with a new relationship and it was called 'fear'. However, I was 42 at the time. When new to sexual encounters as your girlfriend is, she is acceptable to you, but she may have a few fears about having sex. It's a common thing and will pass when she is completely used to you. She needs to build a sensitivity. She'll be fine...just give her time 'cause this is all new to her right now. Try not to be too overanxious. She could emotionally pick up on that and not even realize it herself. I know it can be very frustrating, but like I suggest, just try some patience and don't let her see that it disturbs you. The calmer you are about it, the faster she'll be. Hope this helped.
2006-07-20 19:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by chole_24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her if shes used a vibrator b4, u can become addicted and its hard 2 get it going an again with a man if ur used 2 the toys. if its not that then dont have sex with her 4 a while but still 4play, pace it and let it go on 4 a while and it should work then, if not that either then maybe shes not realxing enough when ur having sex and its just not gonna happen.
take credit though hun, most men wouldnt even try 2 fix the probelm.
good luck
2006-07-20 19:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by J R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many women have trouble having an orgasm while with another person (as opposed to masturbation). There are a few women that cannot orgasm at all, though that is rare.
My advice is that you ask her to be very honest. When you are performing oral sex (or whatever you are doing), have her tell you gently what to do... have her show you how she touches herself, have her tell you what she likes. Seems to me that getting through a few tutorials on what makes her tick sexually will be worth the effort once you know...
And nothing is "wrong" with either one of you.
2006-07-20 19:22:16 · answer #5 · answered by Snark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its probably her dude. She might be one of those girls who can't have an orgasm or may be you'll need to stop having sex all together because it's a sin or maybe she is not focus during sex or maybe its just she is not experience in knowing how to have a orgasm and she doesn't know what turns her on it kind be many reason but you might have to do M foreplay.
2006-07-20 19:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by jvbaker06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she masturbate? She needs to in order to find out what she likes and how she likes it. If you don't know how to get yourself off how do you expect anyone else too? The two of you could incorporate sex toys into your foreplay or she could go solo while you are in the shower and see how that works for her. Once she has had one on her own it becomes easier to have one soon after. Basically she needs to find what works for her and relate it back to you. Most men I know like direction.
2006-07-20 19:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing is wrong with either of you..and jus becuz shes only had sex once prior doesnt matter at all. its easier with some people is all....don't get all frustrated either of you... u gotta try other positons to get to the spot'...its there, its jus finding it. look up g spot on the internet. oh and clitoral orgasms are different then g spot orgasms..but sometimes women can't get it the other way so don't cheat her on the orals@@@!!!!
2006-07-20 19:20:27 · answer #8 · answered by Jinkies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
best thing to do is oral sex for about 10-15 Min's and watch the fire works. if oral sex doesn't do it. do it longer. don't know any chick that won't have an orgasm after 10-15 Min's of oral sex.
2006-07-20 19:20:21 · answer #9 · answered by andy3191 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do too much, over burdened to have orgasm. Please discuss properly with your partner, what it is really orgasm to her. If both of you can not resolve, how can we help you ?
2006-07-20 19:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by sastra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋