Would you expect your girlfriend in an LDR to do something for you for your birthday?

Question

I have been with her for around 6 months now. We haven't seen each other for awhile but still seem really close. We were talking online last night and she was the first person to tell me happy birthday at midnight. She wasn't able to make it here and I was ok with that. Also she had been asking me what I wanted and I really didn't want her to spend money on me because she has been really tight on it lately paying for school and I had told her that. I've tried to treat her the best I can from 8 hours away this summer with flowers and gifts, so I guess I was just expecting SOMETHING. I didn't get a card or even a phone call all day. Never talked to her and she even had the day off. I just feel really disappointed right now. Should I tell her how I feel about this or just try and get over it. She's an amazing girl and I don't want to let her go but this just really hurts I guess. :(

Answer 1

Perhaps she feels she already told you happy birthday and that was enough, although it wasn't enough for you. So tell her how you feel and tell her that just a card or a small token gift would have been a gesture that would have made you feel more remembered and more special on your birthday, which was a kind of tough day for you because you had to spend it without the person you love most. If you tell her this way, I'm sure you'll get an explanation and an apology, and she will understand how important she is to you and she'll probably never do it again. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you, so tell her maturely but don't make too big of a deal out of it because it's not worth getting into a big fight over. I mean, long distance relationships are difficult enough to be in, so you have to put everything in perspective and let the smaller things go.

Answer 2

Some people can just be insensitive about stuff like that. It doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't care. Maybe since you said you didn't want her to spend money, she took it to mean you didn't want anything. Yeah, I would have expected a call from her, so I consider that one a little weird. Go ahead a bring it up with her. She might have not realized what that would mean to you. On the other hand, maybe she's not the amazing girl you think she is.

Also, don't feel like you have to send gifts just because you're not in physical proximity. I almost feel like a compulsion to send gifts is covering up for a lack of true intimacy.

Answer 3

OK, as a gf in a LDR, i can relate- on my first bday, he sent me flowers, 2nd bday- DVD and a card. But i can see where you are coming from, you think that she is choosing to ignore your special day. But, why don't you tell her how you feel, maybe during an I'm or an email telling her? For my bf's first bday, i did send him a txt happy bday- and he got a package from me 2 days later with a wallet, sweatshirt and a DVD, 2nd bday- a gift card for the restaurant i work at and a card- i felt kinda bad because it was so cheap, but i knew he went to that restaurant in the state he's at. He goes there after his friends and him get out of the movies. I told him how i felt, telling him i thought that he would think that it was cheap, but he said- thanks for getting me something i could use!- any other questions, email me.

Answer 4

She could've sent a card! But she did tell you happy birthday, so she didn't forget. I was in an LDR, and we sent cards for B-days but saved the gifts for when we were in person. I would rather give something to a guy myself than put it in a box and mail it. So she may be waiting, but if she isn't, and you're sending gifts and she isn't reciprocating, she may not be as interested as you are.

Answer 5

yes!! send you a card! or do a strip dance for you over videochat in webdate*com!