Should I tell my mom about her gross husband?

Question

im 18 years old, my mom and I do not get along, but until i start college i have no where else to stay, but her husband of 9 yrs(they have a kid 2gether) is constantly staring at me when I walk around in my nightshirt(it comes a little above mid thigh),its at night and its hot so i dont wanna put on pants, no matter what i wear he shouldnt b staring anyway, and when i run to get the phone hes always staring at my boobs(he never gets the phone cause hes a lazy a$$)should I tell my mom about his staring or no? I think she might hate me even more if I do tell her.

thank you all 4 ur advice, but 2 those telling me 2 put clothes on, it shouldnt matter, i could walk around him naked, and that wouldnt give him a right 2 look.

Answer 1

No. I wouldn't tell her, because it'll only hurt her feelings, and I have a feeling, judging by what you've told me, she has enough to deal with with this guy. Just keep the short night shirts in your drawer, or suit case until you move, and stay away from the guy as much as you can. My step dad used to do me that way, and trust me, she won't believe you, he'll deny it, and you're right, it won't make things anymore pleasant between you, and your mom. Good luck, and I'm sorry you're having to go through this.



P.S. You're right. it's not right that he stares at you. He's a dirty old man for doing it, but you're aware of the starring, and now you need to exercise caution, meaning dressing more conservative while you're there, and stay clear of him.

Answer 2

Well maybe he should be more polite and not stare so blatantly, but you would do the same if your mother was married to a hot young guy who was hanging about the house in shorts on a hot summer day, and there is nothing wrong with looking, as long as no comments or touching occurs ..
The one to blame here is you...yes YOU...if you do not want someone, for that matter, anyone ogling you you should cover up, go out and get yourself a set of top/bottom standard night pajamas set, button up the top and wear the pants. Then nothing will be showing for him or anyone else to stare at.
As for talking to your mom about it since you don't get along with her anyway I think this is just a case of you trying to get back at her and hurt her, possibly for leaving your dad or some other reason.
Sure you have somewhere else to stay, lots of college kids take off during the summer and get jobs as interns at various companies, you should have done this, do it next year, and instead of coming home find a bunch of girls and room with them work and make some money, pay your own bills and stop sponging off your mom and then complaining about her and her lifestyle and boyfriend, it is none of your business anyway.
Maybe then you will appreciate the free ride you are/were getting instead of trying to make trouble at home.

Answer 3

First of all you should be wearing more than a nightshirt when your around your mother's husband. I'm not saying what he does is right, but he is only human. You don't have to wear pants, put on a pair of shorts, that'll serve the same purpose. When your runnin around half clothed u might be unintentionally sending him the wrong signals. Always keep this in mind, when you advertise, there is always someone who would want to be the product or at least read the ad .Try that and if it doesn't work then address it with your mother, maybe if she confronts him he will stop.

Answer 4

This guy is a perv and people should be aware of his actions. Even though you are an adult and you're in their home, he should respect your mother and you enough not to stare.

You can't tell the police because no crime has been committed. Your best bet is to inform your mom just to protect the other 2 kids that are living there.

She may hate you even more after telling her but do it for the other kids and not her. You're out of there anyways so your life goes on. Help the others in the house by telling your mother. Hopefully she'll be a mother and do what's right.

Answer 5

Its a really touchy situation here. One thing you could do is put some shorts on with the niteshirt. If the phones ringing and your not expecting a call then let it ring. Eventually some one will answer it. He shouldnt be staring at you. Your right about that. As long as he hasnt touched you then try and put up with it until school starts. No sense in rocking the boat. But if he does try to touch you then by all means speak up. First to him and then you Mother.

Answer 6

Best thing is to stay dressed until you go to bed. Do not answer the phone, unless it's for you. Never wear anything which is revealing around him.

As soon as you can, get some money together and move out fast, he's going to try to sneak into your room one night and have sex with you.

This is a prime example of how incest works, your mom is not giving him any sex, so he's looking at you, now it's just a matter of time before he trys to have sex with you, if you say no, he may sexually assault you then, think of it this way, you mom may say you were asking for it. Then when the police come, who will they listen to? Not you. her. they always listen to the mom.

You need to tell an adult friend who's older than you about this, so if anything happens they will stand by you in court.

Their are places to stay other than their, just get out as soon as you can. If you stay more than another month you are putting yourself at risk.

Answer 7

I really think you should wear more clothing around him and less when your in your room and he can't see you. My own experience
with my girls and my x turned out some what bad I guess that's why I feel this way.I have a creepy feeling about men like that. I wouldn't want to even take the chance of being home alone with him.I hope I'm not scaring you but I want you to be safe just in case. I'm not sure if you should tell your Mom but maybe it won't hurt.

Answer 8

As a matter of respect for both myself and my parents or houseguests, my sisters and I never, ever walked around with just a nightie on and especially not without a bra. You are responsible for the way people treat you. If you walk around in skimpy things, him being a man, will look (respectable men wouldnt look but evidently this one is), and maybe he looks because it makes him uncomfortable. You are a WOMAN now, not a little girl, maybe he is shocked or surprised that you are walking around with your breasts bouncing freely and no pants on in front of him. Either way, you need to wear a bra and more clothing so there is nothing for him to be alerted to. Not making excuses for him, just saying that part of the problem is that you aren't respecting boundaries in the household.

Answer 9

Waste of time telling her...she has eyes...she is ignoring it.
Don't run around half dressed! There is no reason he has to stop at looking.
Get out as soon as you can, if you have to stay make an escape plan and make sure you always have a bag packed with things you need like toothbrush,work clothes whatever.

Answer 10

even if you tell her she probably wont believe that anyways...so what you need to do is start wearing some appropriate clothing so that he's not staring...wear a bra at night when you're walking around the house until you go to sleep and keep ya distance...when you go to college you'll be fine but until then...do what you have to do to stay safe and make sure your mom doesnt think that you're tryin to steal her husband...it happens...