I don't know what's wrong with my daughter?

Question

My daughter does not seem motivated to do anything even if it's something fun like going to the beach. A few times a week she wakes up crying and it continues all the way to daycare. Her school or daycare hasn't mentioned any problems she's been having and sometimes as soon as she gets in the car, the grumpyness starts again. I only work till 6pm so I have my evenings to spend with her and her brother and we go to the park or run errands together before going home for supper. She hardly eats too and I make healthy food and try to get her involved with making supper. She refuses to listen to me and complains and throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way or we stay home to clean or something "boring" as she puts it. She's already started slamming doors and she's only 6 (her brother is 3). At first I thought it was a stage but I'm getting concerned. Her father hardly sees her so I think that may be a factor. Is she just being 6 or should I take her to the doc

Answer 1

I have a six-year-old daughter, too.
She throws an occassional tantrum, and I think it's normal for kids that age.
However, waking up crying is not.
I would be very concerned that something is wrong. She could be depressed or reacting to some kind of abuse. Of course, maybe nothing is wrong, but for safety's sake I would definitley talk with a doctor.

Answer 2

The waking up crying concerns me, I believe she is stressing over something. Perhaps nothing more then having bad dreams of being lost and forgotten by you and being left at the daycare. Or I pray not being abused in some way at daycare, it doesn't have to be a man to abuse a child, they just it seems are more visible as abusers. Women can abuse too, physically, sexually, and emotionally.

I would take her to the family doctor an have a well child check done, and explaining to the doctor why you decided to do this.

Answer 3

Hi.. Just read your post and I feel for you. My daughter was around 6 when she started behaving this very way. She was extremely smart and didn't like being around kids her own age. I took her to psychologist, because I just didn't get her. I thought she might even be depressed and I was worried. He told me that she was looking for boundries. Even though I didn't really acknowledge it at the time (she had never really been spanked or time outs) she was actually wanting dicipline. Boundries include attitudes. So I told her that her behavior was unacceptable and although it hurt me to become a diciplinarian I had to step up to the plate. I was NOT her friend.. but her MOTHER .. she is now in 19 and a premed student at Vanderbuilt. She is going to be a radiologist.. and I am proud of her and my 14 yr. old daughter too. Don't let her walk all over you AND your feelings.. they need to be respected too.. as she gets older talking and grounding will suffice.. but for now.. she just might need to know you WILL NOT put up with it. Hope I helped you out some.. take care..

Answer 4

This "Boring" thing seems to have gotten around a lot. I am not sure the cause. There is something going on that is bothering her. I would seek help from a professional. I have heard this over and over again from parents all over the place. The word "boring" seems to be what all the kids are using these days. I had my thirteen year old tell me the other day he was bored. I had him rake all the leaves and bag them. I have not heard the word bored since. (guess he did not like my idea of fun LOL)

Answer 5

Honestly, most kids go thru this. I even remember myself going thru this. HOWEVER i was a very spoiled child.

NOW

Get some plain white paper IE computer paper, and some coloring crayons or pencils or whatever. Tell her to draw a pic. you sit down and draw too. your son can play as well.

This is a really easy way for her to express what shes feeling. if she draws some crazy pic, shes probably pissed about something. dark clouds...sad. you get it? a lot of kids will put the family in the picture as well.

its like having her tell u whats up, without drilling her.
if u take her to a shrink, thats what theyll do. y waste money.

the food thing. ask her what she wants. im sure u know pizza or whatever she wants wont hurt her every once in a while. or make a menu and let her choose. ask her what she would like to do.

you just gotta communicate. get on her level. get on ur knees or sit in a chair and talk to her. kids get overwhelmed when parents are all up in their faces. talk like ur friends.

itll get her to open up.

hope it helps

Jerr

Answer 6

She cries all the way to the daycare? Sounds to me like something is going on at the daycare. Ask a friend or grandma to treat her one day. Find out how she acts with them. She might be having separation anxiety, too. I would definitely take her for a diagnosis, but if at all possible, no meds. Watch her foods, too.

My 17 year old son acted like your daughter. He is disabled and had done this until he was 14. We finally took him to a special school where he was separated for an extensive period (18 months) and I was a treat. I don't know if it was harder for me or him, but, that's because it became so extreme he became destructive to himself and others. Today, he is working two part time jobs and going to public school and living at home. He still has episodes, but nothing like before they took him away. It turned out he had Asperger's.

Answer 7

I think the first thing I would do is spend time alone with her. Ask questions in a round about way. There could be several reasons she is acting out like this. Taking her to the Dr. might be a good idea, talk with him/her about your fears he/she may have you take her to a counciler to help figure out the problem. If this has just started there may be more to it. It could be she just wants to spend time alone with you or something alot more serious. You can't play around when it is something you think is really out of the ordinary when it comes to a child this age.

Answer 8

Have you asked her what is wrong? I know she may seem little but it seems to me that something is bothering your child..any kid will do all of what your daughter does but when this is done everyday then it should hit you there is something wrong...I agree with many of the others here, you need to take your daughter to an specialist, I have 2 kids and my son went through a lot when his dad and me separated and now years later I was glad I was able to help him by taking him to therapy...If you are not sure you want to take this step, do research and go to the library ask for the parenting department and get some books on children behavior, you will find a lot of useful information, it seems to me that you are like me single and work hard but this is crucial for your child if something is going on you need to find out now or this can affect your child for the rest of her life...I can relate to you, if you feel like chatting IM me....

Answer 9

perhaps she is just trying to attract attention from you because you said you only be with her in the evening and night. maybe you can hug her everyday when you come back home so that she knows that you love her a lot. If this does not work, then i think you should ask her why does she behaves like that. If she does not answer you, i think you should really beat her lightly on her bum so that she will know what she is doing now is wrong.

Answer 10

My step-sister goes to a counselor. She started at age 6 and is now 10. It has been really helpful for her. Her problems stem from her mom, who is neglectful, an alcoholic, and abusive. She only sees her a day or two per week, but it has really helped her in her relationship with her mother and in dealing with all of the issues in her young life. It is really hard as a "grown up" to understand the stresses that a child can feel. Although they may not have to deal with work, finances, romantic relationships, and all of the adult stresses, some children internalize their feelings so much that it weighs heavy on them at a young age. Sometimes having a neutral person to vent to is helpful, as it is with my sister. It took my sis several months to open up and be honest with her counselor, but she now looks forward to her weekly visits with him.