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I am currently living with my sister and her fiance, my son is 2 years old and is terrified of my future brother in law. Kids cry we all know that, well when my son cries my BIL comes in and starts yelling at him to stop crying. Or the other day he got scared of something and started crying and my BIL came and asked my son if he needed him to go get his belt so he could spank him...my BIL has a 5 yr. old daughter who cries over nothing and he babies her, not to mention he doesn't spank or threaten to spank her. Am I out of line being that I am staying with them to go off on him when he starts yelling at my child? I don't spank his daughter or threaten her I feel he doesn't have the right to do or say those things to my child...this isn't the only place I can go so should I take my son out of a situation where he is scared of the person he lives with 24-7? His father isn't in his life and he needs positive male figures in his life, just don't know if my BIL is a good one for him to have

2006-07-20 17:20:29 · 28 answers · asked by miranda.woods 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Toddler & Preschooler

28 answers

I agree, if you don't you may have trouble in the future with child protective services taking the child away from you because allowed your bIL to abuse the child. If anything happens there is a possiblity you may face charges as well.

2006-07-20 17:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Your BIL has no right discipling your child like that. It's one thing if you asked him to discipline your son or if you gave him permission to do so, but even if that's the case, the way he's going about it is all wrong and you should say something. If not to him, at least to your sister.

If you have somewhere else to go, I'd take your son out of there. Unless you talk to your BIL and are willing to give him another chance. But I think your son is better having no male figure in his life than he is having your BIL as a male figure. He's far from a positive one.

2006-07-21 11:10:37 · answer #2 · answered by Amy Lynn 3 · 0 0

be very careful with this guy. yelling and threatening this 2 year old with a belt? is he nuts? first, understand blood is thicker than water and right now his child is the blood & your 2 year old is the water. yes! your child needs a positive male influence but at what cost and the word 'positive' should be the operative word. however, if a positive male presence is not coming soon (or there), you certainly can fill the gap nicely. it's better to have a wonderful and loving mom (sans the bad male presence) than have the male role model and have it a bad one. there are plenty of single parents out there past & present that have raised wonderful children. does a male baby always need males to form a male bond? NO! does a child need a loving female as a mom figure? YES! when raising a child, there are no do-overs. when asking if you should take you & your son out of this potentially horrendous situation? i think you've already answered the question but if you are in doubt, put yourself in the place of your son. would you want to be in a place where someone makes you feel very uncomfortable, scared and perhaps threatened? if you were 2 and unable to do something about this bad 'thing', how vunerable do you think you'd feel. how do you think this situation would shape your future? huh?

2006-07-21 01:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by blackjack432001 6 · 0 0

Lady, you have stated more than once, that your son is afraid of this a------. Listen to your inner voice, if it sets off alarms, then there must be a reason. Tell your BIL that if he dares to get a belt to your son, then when he (BIL) is asleep, you will take the belt to him. Your sister is in for a wonderful life, because pretty soon this character, not a man for he does not have manly attributes, will eventually use brute force on her. He likes to pick on smaller victims and you and your boy fit the bill, he knows he has you at an advantage, you appear to have no where else to go and so he knows you wont leave..........UNLESS that is his sole reason for his behavior. Sounds good, but don't bet the farm on it, he is a cruel sob and needs to be taught a lesson by someone bigger than he is, but since that will not happen, YOU have to stand up for your son, do not expect your sister to she will only make excuses for him. Good Luck and remember only your son will carry the scars from this experience..........will he do this to his kid when he grows up ? cheyenne

2006-07-21 00:35:10 · answer #4 · answered by Cheyenne 1 · 0 0

You need to get out of that house now. Next time your BIL yells at your son, get in between them and tell him to stop. Tell him you would never yell at his daughter, and the same goes for your son. You don't have any family? Could you get housing help? Try to find somewhere else to live, but until then tell him that yelling at your son is not ok, and that he should respect your wishes. Good luck.

2006-07-21 00:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0 0

There is definately something wrong with the BIL..! He is way out of line... Talk to your sis about it... and if nothing changes, then I would suggest moving with your son to a more calm surrounding for you and your son. This abuse by the BIL is not called for and before any damage is done mentally for you and your son, you should not put this off!

2006-07-21 00:37:41 · answer #6 · answered by misslucy2all 1 · 0 0

You have every right to speak up and stand up for your child. In fact...you have an obligation to your child to do so! It is NOT his place to discipline your child. It is in appropriate for him to threaten your child and is the equivalent to emotional abuse.

Personally, if I had another option then I don't think I'd want my child living in that situation. If you have another good place to stay, I think I'd look into it. You might tell your sister and fiance that you are uncomfortable with the situation and see if things can change first. If not, I'd get out.

So, next, how do you talk to BIL about it?

"I would appreciate if you would not speak to my child like that. I understand that you are just trying to help, but this is not how I handle things with my child. I will stand back and let you parent your child your way and I would appreciate it if you would respect my right to do the same with my child."

Something like that maybe?

2006-07-21 13:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0 0

GET YOUR SON OUT OF THERE!!!!
Would you have liked it if your mother had left you around someone like that when you were 2 years old?
Please move out before something awful happens to your son. No male role model is far better than this male role model. Do you want your son to start picking up your BIL's habits thinking that this kind of behaviour is acceptable and normal?

Who knows- maybe by moving out you will find the perfect role model for your son.

Good luck

2006-07-21 08:13:50 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0 0

OH MY GOSH...YOU BETTER GET OUTTA THERE...

This is just from me...but if anyone ever spoke to my child...(husband included) which ofcourse his child too and even remotely suggest that he would hit my son with a belt....or yell at him in the manor you are describing I would soo kick his *** in without a doubt and I would take my kid out of the situation!!! If Ever anyone ever decided to talk to my child in that tone or threaten him for that matter I would rock his world and he would Noo longer be thinking of hitting my kid but worrying about how many stiches he needs in his head and how is he gonna get Bubba off his ***!

Uggh...
Please email me and we can talk!!!

I don't like anyone threatening Children...I am a Soooo Not Spanking Mommy!!! And my almost 3 year old is Great and Very Very Happy BAby!!!

i want to know how your sister feels about her abusive freaken Loser Husband!!! GET OUT!!!
Not Being Rude...But Being Quite Real!!!!!

Ohh and by the way.....if you BIL....has a problem...tell him to come to me and I will show him what a real *** kicking, belt whipping feel like!!!!! who the **** does he think he is threatening a ****** 2 year old!! I WILL SOOO KICK HIS HEAD IN!!!

2006-07-21 00:35:22 · answer #9 · answered by krYpToNitEsMoM 4 · 0 0

You're the parent, he's not. He's verbally abusing your child. If you can get out, then get out! You really should have started using a tape recorder and reporting it to child protective services. ANY kind of abuse, whether from a parent or not, is illegal. Threatening him with a belt is threatening him with assault, and is an arrestable offense.

What are you nuts?? I'd have laid into him verbally the first time it happened. Hell, my sister slapped my son once and I let her have it with my fists. I totally lost control when I witnessed that. NO ONE yells at or lays a finger on my kid but me, and there's hell to pay if they do it in such a way that's abusive. You need to stand up for your son and protect him, no matter what.

2006-07-21 00:29:22 · answer #10 · answered by mom2babycolin 5 · 0 0

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