I have a friend here told me about his wife and him problem I was trying to help him would you give me advice?

Question

I have a friend here told me about his wife and him problem I was trying to help him would you give me advice?
Him and his wife married for 6 years and have a child together. They were excellent couples. After the child, they do not happy each other. His wife wants to stay at home with her child but he does not afford. Therefore, she is not talking to him. He works hard to get money; still he does not afford to have her to stay home. on this situation what do you advice to him....

Answer 1

Did they not talk about this prior to the child?

First they need to sit down and talk about a budget. Then calculate how much money she would bring home after paying daycare, transportation expenses, etc. They may be surprised .......

If their budget will allow, she needs to compromise and work part-time. Perhaps two / three shifts a week while Dad is taking care of the baby. Therefore, no childcare costs.

Or she could take in a child to babysit; therefore, staying home with her own child while bringing in some income.

They definately need to sit down and talk .... or they will be heading to divorce court soon and she will have no choice but to go work full time.

Answer 2

She could babysit to earn extra income; they could make sure they are living on a minimal budget (some stay at home moms don't live on stay at home budgets!); she could have a work from home job; she could work parttime and allow her child parttime socialization with peers (this can be more costly than her income would be though and should be considered); it might also be more a matter of chemical embalance that takes place and is often not caught after having a child and becomes matrimonial disharmony - and to protect yourself, as much as he needs someone to speak with, he needs to seek a male counterpart to discuss his marital issues - he may be using this a coy to entice you (it wouldn't be the first time it ever happened that way); also, if the marriage has reached this level of disharmony, it needs professional guidance as somewhere they have had expectations and failed to properly communicate them about their roles and how they should be fulfilled.

My son's father and I had this same issue and we finally sat down with our pastor - I wanted to be a stay at home mom with an on the go budget - no can do! I also wanted my own set of wheels, but it wasn't really necessary as we could take my husband to his job and pick him up on the days that we actually needed to have a means of transportation. We also learned that we spent a lot of unneccesary money on trivial things that were not essential in our lives, and that allowed us more freedom in my ability to stay home. As my son grew and his needs grew, then I took parttime work during his school hours, and then when he needed private schooling, I took full time work from my home during the night hours and slept while he was at school. These weren't all the most perfect of set ups, but they have proven to have been worth the sacrifices.

And something to keep in mind: "If I talk down my home, when the world talks it down, who will be there to lift it up?"

Answer 3

it's not her job to support the family. that is the father's/husband's job. raising a child is a harder job than any job out there. trust me, I know. I was a stay home mom for the past 16 years. I feel I was so blessed to have been the one to see my children take their first step, say their first word.. and so on.. instead of having a child care worker (who could care less about these mile stones) tell me about it.
things are costly and most families are opting for both to work, but if her concern is to take care of her own child, she needs to pray about it. God will provide a way. it is possible to cut corners and afford the mother to stay with her child. I think God would honor her wanting to take care of what he gave her, a human life is far more valuable. women (who are married) are help meets, not the provider for the family.

Answer 4

If the husband is not able to earn enough than his wife must co opearte him. However the child is also important. She can help us by working from home to some extent. And to some extent husband can work more. However he has to clearly inform his wife about the situation in mild way.

Answer 5

The wife should compromise by getting a part time job. They really should have talked about this prior to having the child.

Answer 6

She's gonna ought to artwork. i tried to be a homestay mom and my husband and that i purely ought to no longer arise with the money for it. My baby went to daycare even as he became a million and a 0.5. before each and everything it became not basic for him and me yet now he will be six in a week, he loves it.They bypass swimming in college, play entire day, he has acquaintances, and so on.he's socializing and learning. period in-between me and my husband can arise with the money for the existence style we would have loved to ought firstly. even as i began operating finished time even as my son became 3, if i did not get that interest interior of a month we may've filed for financial disaster. i pick to ignore at the moment of warfare.Being at artwork also fulfilled my existence.i think like I make contributions and my husband seems to savor me better. He can under no circumstances say to me "I make living and also you dont" i love my independence. Makes me experience solid.

Answer 7

love your accent, are you from russia? anyway, in marriage compromise is essential. since they need a bit more income, perhaps she could work part time? its that or he would have to get a second job. unless he's a buddhist master, he might become a bit resentful--not ideal.

Answer 8

Get a divorce. It's the all American solution to problems like this.

Answer 9

I'm thinking you shouldnt get involved in your friends marriage. What you do to help could possibly back fire and you could lose the friend.