How long should a couple date before they either go seperate ways or get engaged or even married?

Question

My guy and I have been together six years, we still don't live together though we talk each day and spend weekends together. (we live in the same town), I am walking on that fine line of not wanting to loose him, we do have fun together, and thinking that I really don't have that passion love for him......maybe there's someone better for me? I am not sure if I should call it off or keep going...six years could turn into sixty......of standing still in our relationship. what do you think?

Answer 1

By 6 years, I think "passionate" love is often replaced by a more solid and enduring, yet less "sexy" kind of love. It sounds like you've moved past a honeymoon phase into something more lasting.

I think many people in relationships wonder if there's better out there once the passion is gone. But the fact of the matter is that no matter WHO you are with, the initial romance and passion will not last forever... when you're dealing with day-to-day life, the laundry, smelly socks, people seeing you when you have the flu, etc., it changes things.

Many people have an affair because they want someone to "pay attention" to them again, they want that initial excitement. But that will go away too once you spend more time with the person.

Can you see yourself spending your life with him? Are you moving towards that? Have you discussed marriage? It does seem a bit strange that after 6 years, you're not "moving" into a more permanent relationship. Is it you or him that's holding back?

I also think it's important to have realistic expectations about your partner. That doesn't mean that there should be NO romance or passion, but that a lot of that changes to a deeper bond. Find out what your partner is thinking about that.

That being said, if you want some more romance in your relationship, I think it's important to talk to your partner about it and also initiate some of that back in yourself too. It really can revive a relationship that's become too predictable.

Good luck!

Answer 2

There is no 'How Long..' question. It's when the two people involved in the commited relationship feel ready to take the next plunge into marriage. Remember that even though you may have been with that special someone, he may not have the same plan going on as you do. Try talking about your guys' future, and settle something out. If his plans aren't suitable to you or aren't what you had wanted, than maybe counseling can do your couple good. But then, if that's off the scale, separating and looking elsewhere for a husband may be your best offer.

Answer 3

I think it depends on where you both stand in your lives. You could have been with someone for six years, started dating at 16 and might not feel you have achieved enough life experience, career and/or financial success.

If one of you is ready and the other is not. The one who is should decide if it is worth it to stick around. If that person decides to hang around then you must be willing to chance that marriage still might not happen or you still end up growing apart from each other.

Maybe you should find out how he feels about marriage and if he is not ready, then consider dating other men.

However, I do believe that two marriage-minded people know within a year or two if they are with someone they want to settle down with.

I hope it works out for you....

Answer 4

Get a move on. Life is too short. Two years is a good amount of time to get to know someone. More than that and you really should have some goals for the relationship. If you're not careful, you'll find that time has passed and there will be little to show for it. Some good memories, I'm sure, but the security of a "binding" relationship boosts it to a whole other level. That's my opinion.

Answer 5

If you're ready to furthur the relationship, I'd suggest you move in together. When a man moves in with a woman, he's pretty committed...it's not marraige, but it's at least one step closer.
Also, if you've been together six years, you should be comfortable enough to discuss the big M. You could casually mention it, or even ask him where he sees your lives going. It's obvious that you love him, and don't want to leave him. If he feels the same way, than you should start pushing him to amp up your relationship.

Answer 6

Two years is long enough for a person to know whether or not they want to be with a person for the rest of their life!!! That way you should have learned allot about that person and if things don't work out , the time you put into the relationship wouldn't be in vain.

Answer 7

What are you waiting for?? If you're so concerned about wondering if there's someone better for you, why haven't you already gone off to find out for yourself?? SIX YEARS has gone by and it's still you and him. Hey - as long as you both love each other and he treats you GOOD (no cheating or abuse), then I think you should consider getting married. I am gay and believe me - my honey and I are so in love and we WISH we could legally marry, but we'd have to go out of state. Do you wanna lose your guy to someone else who WILL marry him?

Answer 8

weigh your thoughts out.... do u love him? dont you? write it down on a piece of paper perhaps... and then after u got all of it out tell him what u want to do. six years is a long time... ask him to move in together maybe. then see where it goes. good luck

Answer 9

if you been with this guy for 6 years, and you still dont know what
you want out of this relationship i think it time to move on, if he'
not giving you all that you need, then it time to let go, and find
what you are looking for.

Answer 10

I think you should take a deep look at where you are and where you want to be. Make sure you take everything into consideration and go from there.