My parents are treting me liike im a 3 y.o. I have a good paying job I pay my bills and i help where i am needed. I am getting ready to start school again and i am getting an apartment. Tonight they tell me that i am NOT allowed to let my guy friends stay the night if they want to. Its not likei m going to let anyone besides my boyfriend stay the night but thats not the point. The point is, how do I get my folks to relize that i'mme not a little girl anymore. I mean come on i'm paying my own bills and such. WHAT DO i DO??????
2006-07-20 17:06:30 · 16 answers · asked by ,kfhjkityu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
OK If your going to answer make sure you read the details!! I AM GETTING AN APARTMENT!!! my folks r trying to tell me i cant have guys over AT MY APARTMENT!
2006-07-20 17:27:25 · update #1
I think you all are missing the point. It seems that she is asking for respect not a bend in the rules. As a 20 year old young lady, try talking to your parents in a calm, mature manner. Try having a "family meeting" and ask them to listen to what you have to say. As for your boyfriend not coming to your apartment...why make a fuss? If you are paying the bills and taking care of all of your needs...there really isn't much your parents can do to control that to be frank. Do what you have to do while you are still there and when you move out do your thing. However, when you move out, be mindful that you still want your parent's respect and ackowledgement of your capability to be a responsible young adult. Dont lose responsibility when you move out just to prove a point because then you will have lost all credibility and more than likely, you will fall on your face.
2006-07-20 17:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they are trying to protect you.
In my opinion it would be better if you didn't let boyfriends or any males spend the night with you, for a variety of reasons. And, if they are paying for your apartment they have a right to set those rules.
If you are paying your own rent you could probably be justified in ignoring them, although I think that would be foolish on your part.
Realize that much of what your parents are doing is because they love you, they are older than you and have seen the consequences of mistakes they and others have made.
They don't want you to make the same mistakes.
You are not a little girl any more, but you are under 21 and that means you are one step short of being a complete adult--whatever that is.
How you manage your sex life is your own business but realize that there are consequences from managing it badly. STD's, pregnancy, and other problems.
Don't be in too big a hurry to grow up, and realize that growing up includes acting responsibly.
I don't expect you to like this answer very much, but I have raised five sons, and helped raise several other young people, and what I haven't seen I've experienced.
Good luck and be fair to your parents. They are not treating you like a three-year-old. If they were you wouldn't have a job and wouldn't be leaving the house at all.
Act like a 20-year-old and they might treat you like one.
2006-07-21 00:17:48 · answer #2 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you respect your parents enough to even worry about this question. It's also good that you parents love you and worry enough about you to try to enforce rules upon you like they did.
That said, your question is very specific, how do you get your folks to realize your not a little girl anymore? Simple, act like an adult.
Since you've said that you're financially independent of them,
tell them that while you always appreciate the concern and worry they show, it's time for them to realize that you are capable of living by your own set of rules. (then give them lots of credit for instilling the proper values in you, etc...parents like all that bs)
2006-07-21 00:19:17 · answer #3 · answered by Matthew S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah.. 20 yrs old can be consider that u r an adult. But to every parent eyes, their child r always young no matter how old u r & they r worry abt their child might mix with bad company...
i will suggest that spare some of ur time & talk to them more often & let them feel that u r mature enough to handle ur own affair.. (after all, bring up a child is not easy & i doubt they dont want to see any bad things happen to their own children) ... Cheers!
2006-07-21 00:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All parents are protective over their kids regardless of their age.
My suggestion would be 1 step at a time, it takes time for them to see that you are independent and can be on ya own.
You need to get a apartment and move out first.
I would think, things would get better from there on.
Good Luck Girl!
2006-07-21 00:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by Stubertsg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your staying at your parents house you got to play by their rules. Whats the big deal? If you wanna play house with your boyfriend your going to have to do it at your own place. By the way that's part of being a grown up. Have a little respect would ya?
2006-07-21 00:12:12 · answer #6 · answered by Greg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get to make the rules for their own house. This is true not only of your folks, but of anybody whose house you live in. When you get your own apartment, you will make the rules. By the way, your folks still might not agree with your rules, any more than you agree with theirs, but if it's your house you make the rules. You can agree to disagree.
2006-07-21 00:14:23 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are just scared to death that their lil girl is all grown up. They still have parental instincts. They still want to be able to protect you from the "world". It will just take some time for them to realize that you can do it on your own. And that you are responsible and mature enough to make decisions on your on. I am 19 and have been living on my own for over a year. My mom still calls me everyday. Its just their nature to love you and protect you.
2006-07-21 01:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out of the HOUSE. It is their house and their rules. Get your own house and make your own rules. It has nothing to do with you being a little girl, move.
2006-07-21 00:11:28 · answer #9 · answered by OLD MAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have your own place it will begin to get easier. And if they try to tell you what to do you simply have to tell them (with repect) that it is your place. "Their house- their rules" but this is Your House.
I'm almost 40 and my mom still tries to pull that crap with me. I just look at her and say "Hello! This is my house and I am the only mom who's opinion matters. So if you don't like my decision... go home..... love ya.....kisses ...bye"
Every once in awhile she gets it, but not always.
2006-07-21 01:12:48 · answer #10 · answered by ma_zila 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋