I told my ex that he could take our 8 month old daughter to his mothers for the weekend. but her house is filthy. i don't want him to think that i'm trying to keep his daughter from him. my daughter likes to play on the floor she is just learning to crawl. she barely has any room to walk b/c she has so much junk plus she smokes in her house which i don't. i was going to tell him to take her to his brothers house b/c it is cleaner there. any suggestions.
2006-07-20 16:31:59 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Tell her that if she wants to see her grandchild in her house that she cannot smoke inside. Also tell her that her house has to be baby-proofed. Your child's health and welfare is more important than her or your ex-b/f's feelings.
2006-07-20 16:46:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem with my mother in law. Do not let your child go over to this woman's house. There is no telling what could happen to your baby. She could hurt herself, or pick up something and choke on it. Smoking just makes the entire situation even worse. Figure out a way for your ex's mother to come over and visit. Also, tell you ex that your baby's health and well being is more important than anything. Explain that his mother's house is potentially a death trap.
2006-07-20 23:39:11 · answer #2 · answered by 9699 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's been a couple times that I've had to remind my ex that it's not her against me, and the custodial parent isn't the winner of some freakish contest where the winner gets a baby. We're on the same side, and we have a job to do.
There's been precious few times I've had to crack the whip and tell her how things are going to be. If she wants visits with her daughter, she'd better listen to me. Thankfully, we're almost always in agreement about how to raise our daughter.
Children who breathe in second-hand smoke on a daily basis are MUCH more likely to get asthma. And asthma is for life. I have asthma because my Dad smoked all his life... well, since his teens. I remember many nights as a child that I woke up in the middle of the night, barely able to breathe, and Mom rushing me to the hospital in my PJs. There is nothing scarier to wake up to, than the thought that you're going to die.
Like I said, the two of you have a job to do. There are times when a parent has to put their foot down and tell their own parents where to go. That's his job to protect his baby. It should take a little reasoning with him, and him having a big fight with his Mom. But, as a father, it's up to him to protect his daughter. Even if it means his mother disowns him.
I hope he doesn't live with her. That would make things a little... sticky.
2006-07-21 01:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him just that, she is your baby, I wouldnt let that happen!! You care about your daughters well being, have him bring her to a park or something instead, and if he doesnt understand than he is just being selfish, and if I were you so you dont put him in a weird spot, tell her yourself why you dont want her over there, maybe, with a stroke of luck she will find a bottle of cleaner and a rag, and probably a BIG garbage can!!
2006-07-20 23:41:17 · answer #4 · answered by dnmhbk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you care about this, shows that you are a good mom. If I were you, I would simply explain this to him, that his mother's house is not clean enough and you don't want you daughter in a smoky environment. (Even if they offer to smoke outside, that doesn't' help). Ask him if he would like to visit her at your house or a place that you both agree to meet. It could be Burger King, who cares. But don't willingly place your child in a situation that could endanger her and her health. Good Luck, and if he cares about her too, he will understand.
2006-07-20 23:40:57 · answer #5 · answered by AuroraBorealis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am surprised that you would let such a young baby sleep out. maybe your a better person than me but i can't bring myself to let my 5 month have such long unsupervised visits with her father. one of the first times that i allowed an unsupervised visit to his mother she came back in a total state. she had started crying and instead of bringing her back when she wouldn't calm down, they kept her for the whole time. she was so beyond herself when she got home that the father and i both thought that she was having a seizure. thankfully she calmed down after a while.
in my experience people like this are selfish and will not change for a baby's sake. don't allow her to go. and don't worry about offending or hurting anyones feelings cos your main aim should be to protect your baby. you should lay down the law and they can like it or leave it
good luck and all the best
xxx
2006-07-21 07:07:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you ex how you feel, he probably feels the same way I would suggest the brothers house as an alternative too. Good Luck.
2006-07-21 01:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by kl1779 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just ask him politely and tell him
"Your Mom's is not a place for a baby she is taking in second hand smoke and crawling on a dirty floor i think it would be best if you took her to your brothers."
2006-07-20 23:37:15 · answer #8 · answered by Princess Miranda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say him all this things...as you he should care too...your daughter could get sick.
good luck
2006-07-20 23:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋