she was married to him for quite some years..she allows him into her home..he does not need to knock..just walks right in..she says it is for her kids sake..he is allowed. But now that she is married I am not allowed to greet him with a hug in her home cause that is disrespectfull to her and her new husband..Though I spoke with her husband and he claims to have no problem with it. She tells me I need to hug him outside. It all stems from her feelings that I disregard everything he has put her through. That I am making him feel....See I was not bad your sister still love me.
2006-07-20 16:12:01 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Einsteinetta
It is not important for me to hug him it is just something I have been doing for years...and if I am sitting at her kitchen table..and he is in her home and comes to greet everyone...why do I have to shake hands and then ask him to go outside to hug him if I want. Also I mention to her if My husband and I go divorce should I not allow her to hug him infront of me? Or if she divorced her second husband...am I not allowed to hug him anymore...I hug all of my ex inlaws...they were a part of my family. T
2006-07-20 16:48:33 · update #1
Well, you may not understand it, but it's wiser to just accept it. Your sister has some complex feelings going on, and it's an issue for her -- so in HER home, just do as she wishes. Let time pass and see what developes.
Probably most easily, unless he approaches YOU for a hug, it's easy enough to avoid. If he does approach you, you'll just have to tell your sister you didn't initiate it out of respect for her, but also didn't feel the need to be rude, either.
2006-07-20 16:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by Shadycat 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is immature of your sister to ask you to do this. However, I think that if you are in her home, you owe it to her to respect her wishes.
Do what ever you want out side the home. If your sister is important to you and she feels that strongly about it, I would not hug your ex-brother in law around her - even if it is in your own home. But if you do hug your ex brother in law outside of your sisters home and she is with in eye sight - you should be prepared to accept the consequences.
2006-07-20 17:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister sounds like a control freak. You have every right to still be friends with and hug a guy who is the father to your nieces/nephews and who was in your life as your brother in law for many years. She sounds like she is being childish and petty and if I was you I would tell her that who you hug isn't her business, even if it's her ex.
2006-07-20 16:16:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there's still some feelings there. If she has to problem with the kids hugging him, what's her problem with YOU hugging him??? But then, why would you want to if he's a loser, but then maybe she is.. Just kinda depends on who caused the divorce.
2006-07-20 16:17:19 · answer #4 · answered by JACQUELINE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whilst my dad died my mom raised us and she or he grew to become into single for 6 years then she married this warm dude,,looolz i'm telling ya i grew to become into in elementary terms 13 yet my older sisters have been given so mad at my mom,lolz and guess what she asked for a divorce as a results of fact my sister swore that she grew to become into going to shoot the guy. They the place so jealous and did not choose to proportion mom's interest with anybody. Now that we are older we sense terrible for how my sisters acted.
2016-11-02 10:53:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Why is it necessary for you to hug him?
2. Why is it nescessary for you to hug him in her house?
3. Why is it nescessary for you to hug him in her house if she doesn't want you to?
4. Which is more important to you, your sister's feelings or hugging her ex-husband?
5. Why would you want to start a fight with your sister?
6. Why would you want to start a fight with your sister over her ex--of all the reasons you could pick?
2006-07-20 16:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by Einsteinetta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one rule between sisters, ex-boyfriends and ex- husbands are off limits! You just don't go there. It's kinda like pulling the left-overs out of the trash, you leave it alone once it's been thrown out.
2006-07-20 16:47:14 · answer #7 · answered by elizabeth32132 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Icme0103,
this is so not healthy,
but we all have problems
withing our families.
However, instead of analyzing
what´s motivating your sister
to do this, there is such a
blatant point that jumps out here:
"she says it's for her kids sake".
If it were truly so, then the same
rules should apply to you, shouldn't
they?
See what I mean,
And, indeed, do whatever is best for
the kids, and worry about nobody else.
God Luck!
2006-07-20 16:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by vim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a control thing, but it could also just be that she knows her ex a lot better than any of us do. There may be reasons she can't express--relating to not trusting HIM not to manipulate YOU... whatever. It sounds like she's trying to be as open with you about her feelings as she can.
2006-07-20 16:48:08 · answer #9 · answered by byama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in her house, you should respect her rules. If you are in your house or some neutral territory, then use your best judgement. If you all are adults then you do what is right for you.
2006-07-20 16:16:21 · answer #10 · answered by damndirtyape212 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋