Our cat just got ran over and died :( How do i explain this to my 4.5 yr old and 23 month old?

Question

well my 23 month old is a little too young to understand but my 4.5 yr old kinda grasps the concept....i am very worried about how they are going to take this loss..we had our cat for 16 months...i am so sad he is gone :(
Also, how long should one wait before getting a new pet?

No rude answers please...thank you

Answer 1

Having been through this numerous times with various different pets over the years, I have found that the best way to deal with it, and the easiest way for the youngsters to understand, is to tell them that the pet got sick and that it went to heaven. It is easy for them to deal with on that level and it gives them a solid destination for them to think about their pet being in. When they are older you can explain religious things to them. One crisis at a time. When my daughter was little and her hamster died, we actually had to have a funeral, outside on a Sunday, in a rainstorm. It gives them closure, even at a young age, even if they totally don't understand. It is never too early to start teaching your children life's lessons. And you should ABSOLUTELY get a new pet ASAP. I hope I have been helpful to you. I am now teaching these life lessons to my 8 yr old grand-daughter. I share your sorrow.

Answer 2

I'd be most concerned about the four year old, given he is now entering into a special developmental stage of identity - meaning, he is really getting that he is seperate from mommy and daddy and can never go back to the "safe haven" consciousness he had previously. Let him know that kitty is gone, but that you and daddy will still keep the family safe. You might want to say the kitty had an accident because he wasn't being safe - which is true. Be most focused on encouraging both children to understand they are safe in the family, then deal with the never coming back again part of death. Maybe wait a few months before getting a new pet- add to the family because the pet is special, not just because you are replacing the other.

Answer 3

Honesty would be the best thing here....just dont go out and say " the cat died"...try to put in into a way that your children will understand. I know that I was 10 when our cat died and my mom didnt tell me she just said that she gave him to someone else because he needed more care ( he was 19 ). I didnt find out until I was 17 and when I finally was told the truth ( i found her answer suspicious) I was kind of angered that she didnt tell me then....... And I would wait a few months to let the pain ease before getting a new pet...
Sorry for your loss.....good luck

Answer 4

last year, there were multiple deaths in the family including our cat. For every death, I would sit my daughter down and tell her that Great-Gram died, and now she's up in heaven. (My grandmother, my husband's grandmother, our cat, my moms dog, a family friends dog all died in a six month period) she was four and a half too. But, she understood and accepted it.

Now for the wierd part, I didn't tell her about my grandmother because she didn't know her that well. But, we were looking a pictures for her funeral and my daughter came up to me and said, "That's Grammy, she died." I was shocked, but I told her yes she had died. Then she told me,"She's right up there flying." She pointed to the corner of the ceiling. She was very matter of fact, very serious(freaked me out). So, I think you should tell your daughter, they seem to have a good grasp on things. We waited eight months before we got a new cat, and we made sure she's an indoor kitty. Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

Losing a pet is sad, it is truly a part of the family. There is no easy way to break the news. One way (if your religion believes in an afterlife) is to relate the pet's passing with going to be with a family member/friend who has also passed. In most cases, it is better to just say what happened. If anything, you can use it to re-enforce traffic safety to your child, and also, that nothing lasts for ever. I wouldn't replace the pet in a hurry. Allow for a little grieving on everyone's part. A quick replacement might hinder that process. I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 6

Try telling the truth............on their level. Since they are too young to understand the concept of death as we know it, it probably won't affect them as much as it affects you. It is just one of the many losses they will face during their lifetime. Why run out and get a new pet now? That would give the message that when someone you love dies.....you can just replace it. Wait until they are older.

Answer 7

our first family dog had to be put to sleep just before her first birthday. my oldest son was 4 1/2 years old. my youngest was 2 and like yours too young to understand. she was a basset hound and very playful. our boys loved her so much. we got her fixed then found out that because she was the runt her insides were a little different so the vet had to cut a little wider and she got an infection. we didn't know any of this until 2 weeks after the surgery when i noticed that she couldn't walk on her back feet. the infection waas so bad that her entire system was shutting down. so we had to put her down. we explained to our 4 1/2 year old in private, away from his little brother so that he could grasp it without distraction, that lady (that was her name) was very sick and the doctor can't make her better. we told him that she was going somewhere where she could play and not hurt anymore. the day after we put her to sleep my oldest dropped a piece of cereal on the floor and said, "it's okay, lady will get it". then i reminded him what had happened. he sort of sat in silence for a second then finished his food. for the next week he kept reminding our youngest that she was gone. my mom a few months earlier had sent my boys a stuffed hush puppy abour 5 inches tall and it looked axactly like our lady. soon after we had her put to sleep this stuffed dog became a best friend for both of my boys and i was surprised to learn that my younger son grasped the concept very easily. neither of them had cried at all until one day they got into a fight about who had the stuffed dog. then all of a sudden there was a lot of crying from both of them and we talked about missing lady and how much we love her and that everything is ok. then we found out that lady's aunt who was a breeding dog an 3 years old had never breeded so the breeder was adopting her out. so we picked her up and a month later she ate something that was left in our yard from a neighbor child and it got lodged in her intestine. we didn't know this until after going to one vet who told us it was a lack of good bacteria in her stomach that was making her vomit all the time. then it got worse so we went to a different vet who examined her and took an x-ray and found out that it was a bowel abstruction and it was too late to do anything about it. so we had to have her put to sleep also. needless to say we haven't had another dog since and do not plan to for awhile. sorry that i went on for so long. i had a good cry though. hope this helps. i would consider waiting 3 to 6 months before getting a new pet. also, don't get one that looked like your last.

Answer 8

If you have had a relative die, explain that they will go up to heaven and be cared for by that member of the family. Tell them there are no boo boo's in heaven, and heaven has all the kitty treats they could ever want! Explain that even though they can't see the kitty anymore, their kitty will always be right inside them (touch their heart).....and sometimes the kitty may visit in their dreams.

Answer 9

if i were you, i wouldn't tell my children about the cat's dead or got ran over kinda things. it's a too sad thing for them to understand. it's also complicated. just tell them that the cat has gone to look for her own parents. maybe she alrady found them and now live happily. something like that u know,....
and then, you say we gonna get a new one.. no worry.
i think your kids won't get upset and sooner they will forget it.

i never experience this as i never have any pet but i hope my idea works..

Answer 10

You don't. They are forget all about it. All cats and dogs goes to heaven. Maybe, you missed the cat. Just forget it and go one with your life. There will be more other pets, like fishes, turtles, Doberman dog, cats, Shamu, Dolphins, the zoo, and do not forget the famous mouses, Mickey and Minnie!

There is always other options.