It is very disturbing to me. I have talked to him about it. I have also spanked him and yelled at him. My husband (his dad) has told him to stop doing it. Nothing seems to help. I ask him why he does it and continues to do it. He says he doesn't know. Even thought he acknowledged that no one touches his private parts, he continues to do it.
Did any of you ever do this to your parents? How did they get you to stop? I don't feel like it is normal. If you only have something perverted to say please don't answer this question.
2006-07-20 15:35:51 · 31 answers · asked by SuzieQ92 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I have a 7 yr old son as well that has been doing the same thing. Its nice to know that someone else is haveing the same problem. I think its just a phase that they go through. One of my GF's has 2 boys that did the same thing for awhile. I think we have to just keep reinforcing the fact that its wrong to do.
2006-07-21 15:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
The fact that you and your husband have repeatedly told the boy to stop it, asked him why he does it, and punished him when he does do it is extremely disturbing to me.
Spanking and yelling won't work. I can understand a reactive yell or swat, but doing it for punishment is just going to make it worse.
Get the boy to a doctor. He might be telling you that no one is touching his private parts, but he may not really understand what you are asking him. Also, some victims of sexual abuse are threatened to keep quiet about it even if they are asked outright, because then mommy or daddy will not love them any more, or will be hurt by the abuser. I really, truly hope this is not the case for your son, but if it is, only a children's therapist will know the right way to find this out without "planting" ideas into his head.
Tell your pediatrician about your concerns. Stress to him/her how extremely disturbing this behavior is to you. Tell the doctor when the behavior started, if you can remember, and if there were any major changes that also happened around that time...starting school, new friends, new neighbors, a new sitter, moving to a new home ect.
Your doctor will make a full physical exam of your son, and then most likely refer you to a skilled therapist specializing in children for your area.
While you are waiting for all this to fall into place, be aware of where your son is in relation to yourself, and when he comes near you for a hug or to try touching you inappropriately, head him off. Hug him in such a way that his hands are around your neck or waist, and cannot get to your private areas. If you catch him reaching out to your privates, grab his hand or wrists and ask him what he wants. If he says "a hug" give him one, but in a safe and appropriate way, redirecting his hands as above. If he answers anything else, answer him as best you can, and if he says he wants to touch you there, remind him how that is not ok for him to do, but you will give him a "good" hug if he wants one instead.
Make sure you remind your son during this time how much you love him. Make sure you let him know that HE is not "bad"....but certain ways of touching are, and you want to help him learn how not to do bad things, because deep down inside, he is a good boy.
I hope things get better for your family soon, but please don't wait to get some outside expert help.
2006-07-20 16:04:52 · answer #2 · answered by devil_bunny_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could try the supernanny approach like where you tell the child it is wrong to touch whatever part and let him know he wil be punished if he continues with his behaviour. If he touches again, give him a time out for like 7 minutes in a spot he must remain. Then tell him he was timed out for touching a body part he was told not to, Repeat the process if he does it again and you should see results, being him not doing it anymore.. I'm not sure, but it always seems to work on supernanny. Also, she stresses the importance of staying calm when disipling the child; so no yelling or spanking him!
2006-07-20 15:46:31 · answer #3 · answered by sarz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His age is definitely what worries me about this, in a younger child it is not unusual but at seven it should definitely be curbed.
There are a few things that would help a little with my answer, like has he always done this or is it a new behavior? If it is new you should definitely get him to a therapist that specializes in children. If has always been a problem its going to be harder to break because it has been allowed til now.
First off set him down and explain why we don't touch other peoples private parts, explain that it is not acceptable behavior. And be consist in punishment (timeout) wherever you happen to be when it happens, even if it is inconvenient for you.
I hope that helps some.
2006-07-20 15:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is old enough to understand no and is doing it because he can! You are the adult and need to be in control. Tell him that you have given him lots of chances to stop and then tell him the new rules. He cannot sit or be near you if he is going to do that. If he does it, put him in another room. If he tries again ,take away his Nintendo/tv/games etc. and keep taking them away until he stops. When he goes a wk without touching you give him one item back. If he does it again, take it back. He will learn that he can't be near you or have his fav things because it is the consequence he received for doing what he was told not to.Don't make it be about private parts or about him being bad, ,just that is a rule in your house and other places to follow. He is not bad, just his actions are.Then you have a routine in place for all behavior problems and for daily discipline. He has to learn about consequences when he doesn't do chores or keep his room clean, doing homework,practicing piano,etc. You have to teach him what is EXPECTED of him now as a 7 yr old and a student so he will be prepared for bigger consequences as a teen and adult! True parents love is able to say no and to teach their kids about being the best possible people they can be.
2006-07-20 17:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that when he does that again you say "I do not like that...that is my body and I do not want to be touched there. If you do it again, you will get a time out for 7 minutes." He might just be looking for your reaction, so when he does it again, without making a big scene, lead him over to his time out chair and if he gets up, you lead him or carry him back over....Try a bookstore to get a children's book about touching and keeping hands to yourself. He is probably at that curious stage and if you react strongly, he may enjoy the reaction. Also, if you are spanking him for doing this and if someone is doing this to him, he may not feel safe disclosing that information. When the 2 of you are spending time and he's not touching you, use that time to read the book etc...Talk with his teachers to see if he is doing this to them in class and get some ideas from them.
2006-07-20 15:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by Erving Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smack his hand and look him in the eyes and tell him "no" firmly with a raised voice. Time out after that for 5 minutes in a chair, surrounded by no toys, no tvs. And make sure he sits up in it...not playing over it and hanging on it. Tell him thats a no no and we dont touch peoples privates. A little boy did that to my kindergarten girl..and i saw him grabbing all the girls privates and butts. I was irrate and took it to the principal. It has to be stopped now. If hes doing it to you, hes doing it to others. Sounds like something he may have seen on t.v. or from other kids.
2006-07-21 05:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by angelikness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's 7 years old then he's better than the right age to understand what he's doing is extremely incorrect... you may want to be extra frustrating on the discipline... If he nonetheless would not stop i'd recommend taking him to a psychologist as its no longer healthy and its no longer usual habit for a newborn that age... If he's doing it to you, he may also do it to at least one in all his friends in college. analyze discipline concepts - i considered on dr phill that you're taking each little thing out of thier room and easily go away thier mattress - dont enable him watch television, take ALL his toys away
2016-10-15 00:52:02 · answer #8 · answered by basinger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure where, but somewhere I heard that there is a certain age at which children are curious about body parts and their functions. A friend of mine had a similar problem with her daughter touching her own private parts in public.
2006-07-20 15:41:32 · answer #9 · answered by nflgal42 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is curious about the 'birds and the bees'. Or perhaps his friends are curious in school and have dared him to do such things.
Ultimately i think perhaps you should first explain to him how he should not touch you, nor anyone, like that because of how uncomfortable it will make the other party feel.
Then if all else fails, there's always the psychiatrist.
Good luck!
2006-07-20 15:44:38 · answer #10 · answered by runningincircles_again 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋