My mom has recently come up and told me that she had a bad feeling about my boyfriend, and that he was weird and that something was wrong with him. And she made this judgement only by listening to his voice a couple times.(She hasn't met him yet; he's in a different state right now) She even went as far as to say that I'm making a big mistake, and that her intuition is telling her that he's got something wrong with him.
Plus, she refuses to meet him. And when I told her that nothing was wrong with him, he was fine, that we were fine, she told me to 'shut up, I know what I'm talking about.' not letting me defend my reasoning or my boyfriend. So, my question is, what do I do now? I've known and cared deeply for this person for a long time, and trust that he'd never harm me. Do you think this is just standard Motherly Overprotectiveness?
2006-07-20 15:20:28 · 29 answers · asked by Maico 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 20, by the way, and in college. So I'm not a little kid or a teenager who thinks she's head-over-heels in love. I'm more realistic than that.
2006-07-20 15:23:59 · update #1
Wow, this hits close to home! I got the same song and dance from my mom about a guy I loved with all my heart several years ago-- and she ended up being right. Scary!! I'm not saying yours is right or wrong, but at least listen to what she says. Sometimes we are blinded by love and can't see what's right in front of our faces, while our moms can pick up on things by looking in from the outside. But I really do hope she is wrong and you live happily ever after with your someone special!! Just don't fall out with your mom over it. Not worth it!
2006-07-20 15:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by jobug 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents only want the best for their children. Perhaps no man will be good enough for her daughter. But then, there are rotten parents on ego trips and will not reason or that are prejudiced especially judging a book by its cover. Now then, your age makes a difference. You will have to make decisions in life and live with the results. If you two really love each other, well then, decide. Remember, you must choose the right lifetime mate, life is hard enough even with the right person. Go to your minister or school counselor for advise. Good luck and God bless.
2006-07-20 15:32:54 · answer #2 · answered by KonSengWon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a such thing as privacy and there's a such thing as motherhood. You must understand that when you are 18 you can do anything you want. THis isn't for law sake this is for your whole future sake. At the first sight of good judgement a child will want to use that judgement to control their life that seems like they are the only ones taking care of or knows them that well, to take care of. You mother has great instinct and there is something that doesnt feel right and you should respect it. SImply because that is the most important person, she has experience personalities and character from hundreds of people in her time, she loves you and wants the best. You should make her feel comfortable also for respect as well as please yourself. Take time out to think about what it is about your new friend as your mother may not know how to communicate that feeling well enough to make you understand from your perspective. Bible also states "Disobey parents you shall live shorter days". Be respectful and good luck will follow. We all need that blessing as well as protection from evil. Be glad you have a mother to help out and take your time making the BEST decisions for the remaining of ya life. Have a great summer!
2006-07-20 15:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by carolinakres 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well have you ever met this man before for one, and if you haven't, i know your 20 and your grown but if you have never met this guy than you should know that people may portray themselves differently over the phone and Internet than they really are. i would suggest that if you are going to meet this guy for the first time you meet in a neutral area with lots of people in a place that you are familiar with and that you know how to contact help if you need it. mothers can be overprotective and overbearing sometimes, but she may have a good reason to be, did he say something a little off when he was talking to her, or make a comment about you that she may have not approved of? you should ask her exactly what makes her feel this way, and if she says just the sound of his voice than bring up the fact that she is judging a book by its cover, what if he was mute...how would she feel then?
2006-07-20 15:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably but u never know I've been in a deep relationship but later i learned that it might not mean anything what u might want to do is simply tell ur mother u feel one way about him i feel the way I do if she won't drop the subject then it may take more but I promise u I have had girls fathers telling me never to call her phone number again but I promise u everything will be alright also tell her u don't not think it is right for her to say shuttup to u and instead should ind a beeter way of telling u u can follow my advice but my main advice is to go with your gut despite what she says an d belive me not all relationships work I've had lots of girls always talking about how great they think ia'm and how much they love me then again some girls absolutly hate me but what u do is up to9 u so once again go wioth ur gut and do what u need to but keep my avice to heart :D
2006-07-20 15:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by Joshua R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is my experience that teenager girls are extremely vulnerable to being fooled by guys.
It is also my experience that teenage girls won't care about reasoning, they'll choose the guy over any advice (unless, of course, there's evidence of a guy's cheating or something similar).
Consequently, your question would probably be better phrased as: "could you please say things that make me feel like I'm right?"
If this is not the case, my apologies in advance. If you are really concerned about the possibility of your mother being right and this guy hurting you (physically or emotionally), then take a break, make sure your head is clear of fairy tales, and examine the situation surrounding you, so that you can sort out your long-term priorities and your immediate ones.
Most teenage girls end up being hurt by taking teenage relationships too seriously. It is wise to be careful.
:-)
2006-07-20 15:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by Andreba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family comes first always. See if you can work something out between you and your mom with this guy. Ask her to atleast give him a chance. Maybe she really does read people well and just know that this isn't right, but its not fair for her to judge that when she hasn't even met the guy. Talk to her calmly and let her see how ignorant shes being about this. She needs to meet the guy before she can judge who he is.
2006-07-20 15:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by Lindsay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly you should listen her; moms do know best when we have a feeling it usually comes from being a mom, just because you know this person and she doesn't feel comfortable with the way he sounds she may really believe he is up to no good, my kids tell me the same thing; until it bites them in the but, he may be doing harm while away from u ( or maybe not). sometimes you have to trust moms gut feelings even if you think she's trippin'.
2006-07-20 15:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by Roe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a conspiracy I'm going through the same thing. My mother hates my guy friend. We're not even dating. Well, actually my whole family hates him, ha-ha. I have to ignore it. That's worked so far. Every once in a while I'll put my foot down to prove a point but I have every right to do so. I have my reason, so don't call me heartless. If you are an aggressive person, fight for what you think is right.!.!.!.! You go girl!
2006-07-20 15:27:58 · answer #9 · answered by Nichole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for starters how old are you? and another think womens intuition is hardly ever wrong so you should trust her...i went through the same thing only my mom knew the boyfriend and now 4 years later he is in prison for a bunch of different things. trust her instinct and her heart on this one
2006-07-20 15:25:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋