Hi,
Quick question, what is your opinion: My BF has been telling me for more then a year or so, that he is planning to propose to me on my Birthday, and that it is going to be an event I will never forget.
My birthday took place 2 months ago, and nothing really happen. We met in a restaurant and he showed up with his kids and we had a really good time. But....no proposal and no ring.
I thoguht he would suprise me later on, but nothing is going on so far. Our relationship is really great and other then this broken promise, I am very happy. I tried talking with him about it, but I cannot. I feel like it is too late for that and I also feel he lied to me. Should I stay with him or move on?
2006-07-20 15:04:38 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Move on...
2006-07-20 15:07:00 · answer #1 · answered by Guzzy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow. i would hate to be told when i was getting proposed to. or maybe i would like it so i can run for the hills!
if he didnt propose to you when he said he was going to, he could be trying to surprize you for another date or maybe he got a little scared. im betting scared. it's a huge decision and a ring CAN be a lot of money.. maybe he couldnt make the payments?
i would be more looking at the relationship. is there any arguments or unhappiness going on? how about the kids? do they love you? he could be having troubles on the other side of the fence being the kids mom. it is a HUGE thing for one of the parents to wed again. i know, im a single mom and still trying to explain why daddy doesnt live here anymore. *sigh*
there's lots of theories that i could sit and type, but maybe if you cant talk to him, you should write out a heart felt letter.. explain to him honestly how it felt and what your thinking.. he may need to talk to you too, but doesnt know how to.
good luck with it, and i wouldnt be so quick to dump him. he could have something planned that you may mess up.
and again, teaswami has a point. so many marriages take place when communication is a problem for the couple. i sure as hell wouldnt want to marry someone i couldnt tell EVERYTHING to.. (except of course, the BIG surprizes that i would like to keep a secret.. )
2006-07-20 15:15:58 · answer #2 · answered by senacia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just wasn't ready yet. If you're happy though, don't throw it away. Besides, proposing and/or marrying on holidays or birthdays is not a real swell idea anyway. IF something were to happen down the road, you'd have some craptacular reasons not to celebrate. Give it some time. If he's the one, he'll come around and propose. If you just can't take it anymore, then you might as well go.
2006-07-20 15:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by Derrrr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should talk to him about it calmly. As long as you to are still together you shouldnt worry unless you really want a status of a step mom and wife. Don't move on and you cant forget about it.. maybe he needs time or maybe he is in a financial stump that he cant get the right ring for you with his money and had to put the date off.. either way he wouldnt tell you that he would marry if he didnt mean it.. just be patient and the right time will come
2006-07-20 15:11:46 · answer #4 · answered by mariusz360 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him and want the relationship to work you need to talk to him about it. Maybe there is a perfectly good reason he did not propose. Then again maybe he has decided he is not ready or you are not the one. You must talk to him so you will know. As far as the lie - tell him that it would be best not to tell you something like that in case he does not follow through. My boyfriend and I had that problem. He would tell me his plans but then they did not work out and I was disappointed. Communication is important!
Good luck!
2006-07-20 15:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by Toni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you with him just to get married? Or are you with him because you love him? The difference between a married and an unmarried couple is few but significant. The married couple remains together because it's too expensive to part ways. The unmarried couple remains together because they want to be.
Which is better?
My philosophy for the past few years has been not to be about the business of keeping a man who does not want to be kept. You see what I'm saying? If he is showing you signs of not wanting to be in a relationship, set his asse free and keep it moving!
It sound like you have an agenda, that would make me hold back too. Just take it easy and have fun with him. You don't want him to see you as someone (like a lot of women) who just wants to fullfill their own selfish childhood fantasy of having the cinderella wedding, house with the picket fence and 2.5 children without asking the man what he wants.
My advise would be to just take it easy and have fun with him and be realistic about who he really is that way you can assess whether or not you want to live the rest of your life with him and his children and their mother.
You could probably do a lot better anyway.
2006-07-20 15:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by nomorelies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem, as I see it, is this.......
It's not the ring or birthday or any of that.
It's not the "broken promise" because maybe it was supposed to be 5 or 6 birthdays from now........
It's the "I've tried talking with him about it, but I cannot. I feel like it is too late for that and I also feel he lied to me".
Now THAT'S a problem.........and a very BIG problem, at that !!!
It's fine that "Our relationship is really great" and "I am very happy"................I'm sure you are.
Don't get married because your relationship is fine......"BUT....."
Remember.....you can be happy even when you are single and don't feel like you are being lied to.
2006-07-20 15:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by TeaSwami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you need to really talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel let down and lied to, and ask why he didn't. Do it by email or letter if you have to. He may have gotten too nervous to do it, or he may have meant a future birthday. Don't give up on him until you know for sure. Second chances are worth more than gold.
2006-07-20 15:10:37 · answer #8 · answered by Agent M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How soon is his birthday? If soon, tell him about something special you are going to do and then don't. If he brings it up, say "Now you know how it feels." If it's not soon, tell him you'll do something really special, really private this Saturday, just for him. When Saturday comes, tell him you have a headache. When he asks later if he can get that special treatment, tell him you'll give it to him as soon as he gives you the marriage proposal he promised you for your birthday. Turn about is fair play.
2006-07-20 15:15:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
could it be that he is stringing you along? two yrs promising and nothing. only you can determine how you feel about this.. we can tell you what you can do but its up to you how much longer you are willing to stay in stuck ville. you know he lied, staying will only lead you to a loney road where there is little hope left.
or maybe he is just not ready and or broke and too embarrased he is not able to afford a ring now and so he does not propose.
you gotta talk.
2006-07-20 15:13:51 · answer #10 · answered by Storm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really are happy otherwise, then I'm sorry, but you do need to confront him about it, especially since he promised you that he would. Trust is central in a relationship, and if you feel betrayed, then you need to tell him, because he needs to account for his actions. Men need to be told straight out what they've done wrong, or they'll never pick up on it, and you'll just end up miserable.
2006-07-20 15:11:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋