un motivated son?

Question

I have a son that is 16 years old that is too smart not to go to college but he seems to have no goals in life drive or gumption what is the best way to handle this

Answer 1

Start taking away the stuff that DOES motivate him- video games, car, going out, allowence, etc. Tell him to get a job to cover his expenses, and explain that if he doesn't go to college, that's where he'll be working to support himself.

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about that. Lots of boys run through this and what you're talking about isn't too uncommon.

Sign him up for some camps and activities if you really think it will help to be active in helping him. Really though, understand it's only going to help him if HE takes the initiative. Maybe he needs someone to reflect and model in his life. Maybe he's just distracted. Whatever it is, you don't know and digging for the truth will only make him want to shun YOU more.

Anything mindless that gives him a sense of accomplishment WITHOUT focusing on himself should help. The biggest obstacle in his way is trying to understand everything he should be doing. Right now, he just needs something simple to build momentum in his confidence and self-image.

Specifically speaking, get him some magazines (Popular Mechanics, National Geographic, The New Yorker); help and push him to get his Driver License and open a Bank Account; and let him customize and design his own room, cell phone, wardrobe. The idea here is to have him feel comfortable in an auspicious environment while understanding he does have options since the resources are available.

Answer 3

What do you mean he has no motivation? Do you remember 16?
Old enough to want to be grown but too young to do anything about anything without mom and dad or a brother or sister who has a car. He'll get thru it.... just hope he is smart enough to pursuit college!! No really try giving him a little space!! ... But not too much remember he is only 16...!!!

Answer 4

It seems that you have a great problem.. but I think you should motivate him, give him details, examples and encourage him so he can start developing goals. I think he's to young to think for that, but you should sit down with him and talk like best friends and try to help him out because us students need support and nurture from our parents. You should put the best of your ability and manage to change yourself first! in order to change someone else! I you want to change your son's mentality and hot he thinks towards his future, you should also change as a person before changing someone else, believe me ialways works out. But if this is not your case, then keep trying and supporting your son as much as you can! but most important love him!1

Answer 5

You gotta be hard on him. Tell him he has two choices: either go to college or you work him like a slave around the house.

Teenagers hate doing chores I can tell you that much. As long as you are still paying for him, you reserve the right to make him EARN it. And by doing so it might even help him to WANT to get out of the house to go to college as a "trade."

Answer 6

Is college being offered as a free ride for him? If it is something that he is not having to earn, he may be more willing to blow it off. Make him earn his keep around the house and he will begin to appreciate all of the things that you do for him...including allowing him the awesome opportunity to further his education.

Answer 7

Where were you the first 16 years of his life? Obviously not being a parent who was actually parenting. Now you are going to pay the price for your slacking.

Answer 8

Give it time he'll grow up from 15 to 18 its a nightmare

Answer 9

at 16 the furthest thing from his mind is college! he still has to finish high school.
pressuring him will only make him resent you, or feel like he's not good enough.
let him be a kid! worry about college when he's a senior.

Answer 10

Have him get a job that is physical, such as in construction.
He will soon get the idea that he can work less and make more money with an education.