Respect your parents and live a long life? What about kids who resent their parents?

Question

In the bible it says, "Respect your parents and you will be rewarded with a long life." So does that mean every child who resents his parents because they abused him or treated him bad will live a short life? My dad is a liar, and my mom is a hypocrite. My dad never keeps his word and lies to me. Whenever my mom does something bad or something goes wrong it's my fault.

Therefore I don't obey them or trust them or even talk to them about my personal problems and go to my friends instead, which can be bad because they aren't as matured as adults but my parents are just too hard to talk to. And I sure as hell don't respect them.

How can God expect us to respect bad parents? Does this mean i'll die soon?

Answer 1

In these days, people believe often that respect is something only earned. While respect is earned, there is some respect that needs to be given to those who are in authority over us, our parents being among those. Even once we have left their roof, they are the ones who raised us, they are the reason that we are alive today. For that alone there is a degree of respect that should follow.

All of us are bad people. People think that because they haven't murdered someone it makes them good. All I gotta say is that's a pretty low standard, because most people I know haven't murdered someone, but that doesn't make them good. We are bad by default. God gives us far more respect than we deserve through his sacrifice of his Son dying on the cross.

Just because you don't respect your parents, it doesn't mean that you will be struck dead or anything like that. It's saying that the result of respecting your parents is long life, because you learn more through respect than disrespect. Take their shortcomings, and be certain to pay close attention to what it does to them and their relationships with others. The old saying "A wise man learns from his mistakes" is nonsense. Any fool can learn from their own mistakes, it doesn't take any degree of wisdom. A wise man learns from other people's mistakes.

It is very possible that your parents haven't matured because they lacked respect for their parents, don't make their mistake, and don't become so absorbed with their shortcomings that such is the only thing you see, because then you will be almost certain to repeat their errors. Look at the things that they haven't screwed up as well. Take their better traits and emulate them, while tempering yourself not to repeat their blunders.

Answer 2

You are to respect their office, not their behavior.

The verse (actually part of the Decalogue) you mention is a general principle. It is a general promise, and states a situation which is generally true. It doesn't mean God won't take the life of a baby or a child (even if they are respecting and honoring their parents).

I'm sorry things aren't going that well with your parents, and it doesn't sound like they are being the perfect parents, or even close, but I think in time you will come to have more respect for them, and realize that maybe there are reasons they act so poorly towards you. Maybe they didn't have a great life or a great upbringing, I don't know.

I do know that God calls you to respect and honor them (He doesn't call you to believe them or follow their exampe if they are not good role models).

I think that God will work on your attitude (and on theirs) in time, and you will get along with them better eventually.

Sometimes people have to see the result of their lifestyle before they realize they need to change.

Answer 3

I don't believe in God any more because of a tragic motor scooter and gun accident that blew off my left foot and three fingers. I often wonder that if I saw Bozo naked would I think that chocolate milk cannot be sold in stores in a plastic container, or could it? That is a very deep and philosophical question that many great people like Coach Ditka and Jesus could not answer when they went before a grand jury for illegal dancing in Utah. Just because Van Halen does not play at your grammar school dance doesn't mean that you have missed out in life or did something wrong. You have to move past those issues and begin to address the fact that Men are from Mars and Women are from Saturn. I once fed a dead rat to a blind man in a tossed salad and he was not happy with the dressing I picked for him. Do you ever reflect on the meaning of extra large shrimp or why plumbers don't lay plumbs when bricklayers lay bricks? Dance freely and don't forget to wear sunscreen when you go to the bowling alley. The government and aliens want you to stop smoking and you are just falling into their plan and trap. Think about all the people in the phone book that cannot play the piano or shoot a cross bow. Why is that? I cannot explain this to anyone unless they open their mind to free thoughts and the acceptance that dogs can teach humans to create a clean burning combustible engine to put in our automobiles. I do generally wear only women's orange panties when I cut the lawn in the morning. I think that is the best answer that I can provide with this limited amount of time and research.

Answer 4

K, I really don't follow a god, but when it comes to your parents I can only talk from experience. I have done things and said things to my children that in retrospect I do trully regret. But the main thing is, I did all that I did in hopes that it would always be for the good of my kids. What I didn't realize was that my kids were from a different generation and that they would not understand where I was coming from.
No matter what a parent says, they always have the hope that their children will have the understanding that they have and will know what the lesson they are implying is taken.
What they don't know is that there is always some wisdom in parents's sayings, even if it seems they are not right.
The whole point is to take what u can use, discard what u can't, and take what u learned to make your life better. But always try to understand where your parents came from, since they don't know how to tell u. try to take a lesson from what they try to tell u. They might come across as wrong,
Anyway, take life as it comes, take life's lessons, and learn from it. Don't take things negartive ever/////////////////

Answer 5

No! Respect means not to treat them badly. Honor the fact that they are your parents but I believe God knows your situation and circumstances. When I read verses like that in the Bible I first rember that God is trying to shape me into a better person, it's not really about your parents but it's about you. Respect your parents even though they may not be doing the best job of respecting you. This I know is difficult.You may never change them, but through loving them you will one day be able to forgive them. Reach out to more stable and caring adult figures that may be able to show you the support and directions you are seeking. If you are being abused, tell someone. No one, not even God believes this is something you should endure.

Answer 6

First, a general statement to the people who answered if I may--what God says in the Bible is true and He is full of love. If you feel upset about something that has happened in your life, why not talk to Him about it? It won't help to talk about it on a website. Maybe He can help you understand and come to terms with it.

Now, to address the point in the question, I had the same fears when I was younger. You can respect the authority of your parents and the fact that they raised you and that they are your parents, but it doesn't mean you have to like what they do. You see, there is a higher law than theirs, and what you say they are doing is not right. Use that as an example of how not to be b/c you don't like it when they act that way towards you.

But when someone in authority treats me in a way that I don't feel is right, whether it be parents, or my husband, for example, all I can do is try to tell them how I feel and see if we can talk it out. But if that doesn't work, I do what you do--recognize that they are my parents, or husband, and try to keep the peace and not discuss certain subjects with them that will start arguments.

Hey, it's ok to talk to whomever you feel comfortable talking to if you can trust them. But respect your parents at the same time and be there for them if they need you b/c they are your family.

I see you as being a good person. Everything was my fault, too, btw...lol...but it got better when I got older and moved out and got married b/c we weren't in each others' faces all the time...u know?

Just try not to fight w/ them and do what they say as long as it isn't hurting you in any way, and you'll be fine. Pray for them if you can...maybe they aren't too good at the parenting. I don't think I would be, either. It can't be easy. But I'm sure they love you.

So, you see, you can respect them and try to keep the peace as much as possible but it doesn't mean you have to agree with everything. Just try to brush it aside for your own sake and theirs. Do it the same way you would with a boss at work. You respect him and obey him b/c he's the boss.

See what I mean?

Answer 7

It has been well said that by the time a man is old enough to realize his father was right, he has a son who is sure he is wrong.
This thing with the parents is temporary. It's sad that parents and kids aren't getting along as well these days as they ought, but, before you know it, you will be grown, and on your own. That's when the bills come with your name on them, and if you don't have the money to pay, they start shutting things off. That's when, if you don't buy groceries instead of that cool CD, you go hungry, and nobody gives a damn.
Then, one day, you might be a parent yourself. That's when the real fun begins.

God is not offering you a long life, Hun. He is offering you the gift of eternal life.

Answer 8

You left out an important clue: how old are you? So take the rest of this answer with that in mind.

My father had a good parent who died when he was 12. His mother was a mess. She became a member of a weird religion that claimed to be Christian, but with my hindsight, was not. She allowed her eldest daughter to die in childbirth because she had not been married. My father remembered her screams behind a locked door.

My mother's mother beat all her children with whatever came to hand, and her father never really managed to provide enough food for the family.

And yet, these two people married, and vowed to one another that they would cherish their children. And they did. My father was insane due to being in the South Pacific in WW2 and of course, his upbringing did not give him any reliable advice as to how to live his life. He became a preacher, and between his inspired preaching and his total lack of people skills, I and my brother were raised somewhat below the poverty line, but never went hungry. And we were never abused.

So how does this story help you to come to terms with your parents. It seems that you would really like to have their advice and friendship, but you don't feel confident of getting it.

Maybe you could start from the other end. Ask them about their lives, and their childhoods. Pay attention (and look as though you are paying attention as well). Ask questions - any questions, and you may find answers they didn't even know they were giving. Don't censor them for what they tell you. Respect the fact that they have managed to stay alive this long. Maybe if they tell you stories, you can learn what you need without having to ask directly. And always try to be nice. There is the possibility that they feel as awkward as you do. Babies do not come with instruction manuals. And grown children are sometimes very bewildering - my son is 19, and sometimes we are bewildered by each other.

And God expects us to do our best. You are not going to die, or go to Hell because you can't figure things out. God loves us, and wants us to be happy in our love for Him.

Answer 9

No it doesnt mean God is going to punish you if you are in that kind of a situation. God is your heavenly father, talk to him. And if you really listen he will change things in your life for the better. Dont resent your parents just pray for them. Dont let your heart grow cold because of bad things that happen to you. Not now in the times we are living in. Do you watch the news much? The world is falling apart and there is nothing to lean on but God. He is your Rock! I pray that he hears everything that your hurting heart is trying to cry out and that he helps you in every area of your life. If you are being abused I hope that God will remove you from the situation and lift you out of all the pain that you are experiencing.

Answer 10

Bad parents are still parents, learn from their mistakes and don't make them when you are older. Respect does not have to be equated with the word condone. You do not need to agree with your parents choices in their lives to respect that they care for you in their own flawed way. Even IF they don't care for you well or much. My parents weren't very good either. I have caught my mother in more lies than I can count. my father was a hard man with little tolerance for youngsters. but they did raise me to know good from evil and for this I can respect them. Find one thing you can respect them for. and do better when you have kids. And relax everyone dies eventually. God is not through with you yet.