A friend I've known for years tells me to stop talking to a girl who he's dating. He just wants to set up a friends/ benefits situation with her. But, she introduced me to the person I'm currently dating. Also, my friend's girl is a great person and I enjoy talking to her.
At first he gave me "advice" not to talk to his girl b/c I would benefit by focusing on the girl I'm dating. Once he did let slip he thought I'd upset his girl and therefore negatively affect his relationship with his girl. Now his message is "Stop talking to her! There's no reason for you to talk to her."
He's been manipulative in the past with other issues. What should I do, if anything?
2006-07-20 13:05:35 · 18 answers · asked by livelongses 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him to back off. You can do whatever you want & talk to whoever you want. I'm sure he does whatever HE wants to do. Nobody tells HIM what to do, right? TELL him that. He's being a control freak.
2006-07-20 13:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude? Be a man. It's that simple. He doesn't own you, and he doesn't own her, so there are no "rights" involved in this. If he's daring to manipulate you this hard, imagine how manipulative he's being to her. He's going to try to separate her from every source of strength she has, but him. So she will be dependant on him for everything, even conversation. Then he's in control. First manipulation, then control, then abuse. In that order. Always.
And, it's more than that. This is a competition between Alpha males. You have to win this contest, or for the rest of your life he will think he owns a piece of you. He probably already thinks so from battles he's won in the past.
Defeating a manipulative man is very simple. It just takes one word. "No." You don't have to explain. You don't have to defend your decision. You don't have to give him a reason. (You shouldn't. He'll just use the feedback for further argument and rationalization. That's what manipulative people do. Without feedback, they're defenseless to your answer.)
So, to defend yourself, and to defend her from the abuse that's coming, just say no. Period. He asks you to stop. You say no. Nothing else. He demands it, you say no. Just no. He has no argument, he can't attack your reasons... he just stands there angry and helpless because he demanded, and you said .. "no"...
2006-07-20 13:16:26 · answer #2 · answered by antirion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guys are just that immature to believe what other people tell them and they miss out on a good thing, Dont beg him sweetie it was his lose not yours. i mean if he wants to listen to what other people say and believe them before even talking to you about it then you dont need no one like him, and that person who told him is not your friend, she wants him for herself and people do silly things like that. Dont let it worry you honey you can find you someone better than that, someone who will be with you no matter what someone may say about you. If he hasnt seen it 4 himself then he shouldnt worry about it. Move on dont call him anymore he doesnt deserve you. He will realize in the in that he made a huge mistake
2016-03-27 01:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's changing his story a lot. Be upfront and ask him the real reason. He might be jealous. Ask the girl if you upset her in some way. As far as I can tell there's no reason for you not to talk to her.
2006-07-20 13:09:37 · answer #4 · answered by Jadeba12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My age must be showing. What's a friends/benefit relationship.
As for your friend, he is obviously quite young. He is insecure, and not as "tight" with her as he would like. If they were tight, you could not affect them. He's running scared. What is her thought about this? Is she aware he is trying to control her outside relationships?
Don't let anyone control you!!! Guide you, yes.
2006-07-20 13:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by chrisbrown_222 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me , he thinks your going to hit on her in your way not in your face but very sly way which you don’t even realise your doing. It all about 'wanting what you cant have' , he knows you well so if he is saying stay away, stay away before you end up in a fight.
What the hell are my the only person who follows the friend policy, I shall not hit on my mates girl, which he is doing he states she is a great person and I enjoy talking to her, mate back off she is with your mate and going through the early stage, stick with your bird not your mates, man if everyone was like the people answering this everyone would be cheating on everyone, YOU DONT MESS WITH YOUR MATES BIRD, End Of , if he says stay away, stay away or talk to them both together about this. But if my mate was insecure I would not be hitting on his chick but making him secure. if there is chemistry she should finish with him
2006-07-20 13:10:24 · answer #6 · answered by MrMago 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder why you are still friends with this guy. Do you usually let him order you around? "Stop talking to her!" indeed! I wonder too what his real reason is for not wanting you to talk to her. Is he jealous of your relationship with her? And what would she say if she knew he had ordered you not to talk to her? And if you don't talk to her and she asks you why? What are you going to say: 'he told me not to talk to you'? My advice: refuse point blank. B
2006-07-20 13:17:46 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are scared of your friend b/c he's 6'2" and 245lbs. "stop talking to her".
Otherwise if she is a friend to you, tell the guy 2 f--k off.
It seem you may know something he doesn't want her to know.
2006-07-20 13:46:20 · answer #8 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore the jealous idiot, if hes that bad he wont have her for long. ask her if she wants you to stop talking if she says no, then its ok. a friend like him you can find anywhere. good luck
2006-07-20 13:13:40 · answer #9 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to whom ever you want! he DOES NOT own her! The poor guy is so insecure he can't take it, your friend needs a new b/f.
2006-07-20 13:11:44 · answer #10 · answered by MC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋