My son is 10 and having major destruction issues, and is out of control. We are doing counselling but they only are masking the root of what is going on with him. The only other thing I can think of is my son has seen some pretty tramatic happen to me and his sister. But that was over 5 years ago....Could he be acting on them now? I am worried!
2006-07-20 12:38:38 · 12 answers · asked by troy_and_madonna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yep....keep the counsling. dont listen to Nate, if you cannot get thru to a child mentally (instead of pysically) you never will. told to me by my own father
2006-07-20 12:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by ladyfish1963 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely, kids have a way of hiding their feelings sometimes because they that you have already been through enough and they do not want to add to your burden. They, however do not have the coping skills that you have. Keep up the counseling. Sometimes, right before the big breakthrough, you will have these behaviors because all of these things are being brought up and they are painful for your son. If you feel after awhile (and do give it time) that this counselor is truly not helping your son, then look for another until you find someone you are comfortable with. HANG IN THERE, IT DOES GET BETTER. I've been there!
2006-07-20 19:49:54 · answer #2 · answered by KIT-KAT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in no means belittling your sons trauma. I do think witnessing a trauma to someone he loves can be affecting him. I also think it is highly possible that he can be suffering with some sort of allergy at the same time that is making him unable to control his emotions/actions.
I say this because my 3rd son was always destructive (broken windows, broken toys, mean, biting, hitting..screaming..you name it!! just a horror to be around he was like a boulder rolling downhill) for years we assumed it was just his temperment..wrong!!!! we discovered through trial and error that he had/has a severe dairy allergy. We cut all of the dairy products and hidden dairy out of his diet and he is a different child. It took a few days to get the dairy out of his system but after that..he was in control of himself. Talk about night and day! I can tell if he sneaks something he shouldnt have because the old ways pop right back to the surface. We do a "detox" of nothing but water and whole foods for a few days and he gets back incontrol of himself.
Have your son checked for allergies. An allergy can also show up as a depression...and depression can also be a result of what he witnessed as a child.
Best wishes to you!!!!
Mom of 5
2006-07-21 08:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by AccountableLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he could be acting on the trauma now. Post traumatic stress syndrome can happen many years ofter exposure to the trauma. i would tell your therapist about that. Cognitive behavioral therapy seems to help very well w/PTSD and adding art therapy (not alone) can also help in allowing a child to express himself. talk to your therapist about it. Also, if you don't see improvement w/in 6 months of seeing the therapist, i would try another one (make sure they have a PhD in clinical child psychology). There are a lot of bad therapists out there so be careful and pick wisely. A good therapist does get to the root of the problem. I would also get him psych. testing for learning disabilities etc. In addition, he should see a psychiatrist for medication and diagnosis. You need to get to the bottom of this now. 10 is an age where you can turn things around.
2006-07-20 20:36:14 · answer #4 · answered by chill'n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a parent of two children a 13 year old and a 10 year. I have been married for 16 years. I am no expert by any means. But, I can give my two cents on this subject. First of all as a parent I empathize with you. Raising children can be very challenging in this world, children are already exposed to so much everyday. If you have a situation where a child is exposed to violence, or verbal abuse parenting becomes more difficult and heart breaking sometimes. I have a child in my family, my little niece, who was exposed to violence, verbal, and other kinds of abuse at a very young age. Her behavior ranges from violent to actually acting out with other children. Love is always good medicine for heart break in children and for anyone for that matter. But, children who have been exposed to situations with out boundaries such as violence, and abuse need boundaries. When they break the boundaries they need consequences. Sometimes that can be very difficult, the follow through for the parent can be frustrating. Example: my little niece likes to hit people, all people children and adults. She has been told that if she hits anyone she will not be able to watch movies. She hits someone, then she can't watch movies. No matter how much she screams or cries. Some would say to hit her back to show her what it feels like. But, in some cases that is the problem. The child has been hit, or seen others being hit. They think it is normal to do this. Teaching a child empathy is important as well. My sister never learned to empathize with people, some would look at her and what she has done with her life and say she has a mental disorder. Perhaps a pet could help with empathy. If child learns that to love and connect, then perhaps they won't want to destroy themselves or their enviroment. Like I said I am not expert by any means. I would like to send thoughts of encouragement to you and your family. I can't imagine what you are going through. Just don't give up, keep fighting for him. Some day he will thank you . Best to you and your family.
2006-07-20 19:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by meluusinee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be. Kids are so impressionable and pick up on things that you never think they would! Let me put it this way, I remember things that happened to me when I was 5! Not vividly or anything, but I do remember them. I think you are on the right track with counseling, if they are not getting to the bottom of what is causing this, then maybe you should find a different counselor, as I would think that is their job. Love and patience does not hurt at all either.... Good luck to you....
2006-07-20 19:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes - a 5 year old cannot resolve trauma. The counseling will help him make sense of it. If nothing else, the counseling will help him learn skills to control his emotions.
2006-07-20 19:45:08 · answer #7 · answered by oohhbother 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love your son keep going to councelling and provide him possitive ways to vent. ex. throwing rocks at the lake, not at people houses or cars. build lego building with him that he can later distroy and rebuild. being distructive is bad....providing an oppertunity it distruct and then fix may help. try redircting him to constructive activities, go on a camping trip and talk to him about what he saw and give him the oppertunity to vent where no one is watching but you. be open honest and loving. best wishes to you and yours.
2006-07-20 19:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by who be boo? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough Love my sister! Thats all he needs.
2006-07-20 19:43:46 · answer #9 · answered by Lydell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES!!!!!!!!! MY SON HAS DONE THE SAME W/ ME,
JUST TAKE SOME TIME ALONE, GO OUT 2 EAT ALONE, ANYTHING JUST TAKE SOME TIME W/ HIM,
U WILL C THE CHANGE, IT MAY TAKE SOME TIME,
BUT ALL GOOD THINGS DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-20 19:44:49 · answer #10 · answered by bobby-bob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋