Violent child - advice please?

Question

i have an aquaintance (really ) who is struggling to cope with a child (14) who is extremely violent and often attacks the younger siblings - not because they have somehow provoked this behaviour, but as a means of manipulating mum to have the child's own needs met. She is already involved with social services, and although i am extremely loth to place a call (very extremely loth to do so), i no longer know what to say and i am a t the point of telling her to stop offloading on me while she remains inactive about the situation. Any sensible advice due to the nature of this dilemma would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou.

This is in the uk, so overseas advice would not be compatible with british law or welfare departments.

in response to calling individual "a child" - to keep personal details of a minor absolutely anonymous - no offense was meant

Answer 1

My aunts daughter is demanding hits her parents and digs her nails in a swears big tantrums since she was 13 and is still same at 18 my aunt complains about it but gives into daughter etc giving her money and being her taxi.
She loves her daughter and i find it hard to watch this go on and my Aunt does nothing .
All I do now is listen and try not to talk about the daughter because I just lose it hearing about probs and Aunt does nothing.
She has spoilt her daughter all her life and now can't control her and just lets her get her own way to have peace but its every day.
Its hard to watch but nothing you say or do will help.
its also hard to say to the person do something because in the end they don't want to.
every week I hear my aunt say right this stops bla bla I don't want to know!! sounds harsh but she just feeds the problem.
don't know if I advised just telling you i've a similar problem and how I cope.

Answer 2

This might seem a weird answer but I promise I'm being serious.
Smacking the little **** might have some merit; calling him an adult instead of a child might also be a good idea. The problem is, though, that for as long as it works for this "person" abusing their siblings will continue.
So obviously that has to be stopped. Once and for all. (Thats where a good talking to the first time and then a good kicking the second time comes in).
The underlying behaviour pattern, though, can be changed through a change in diet believe it or not.
Cut out sugary foods, and give them real food. Made with real vegetables etc. This will stop the fluctuations in blood sugars that precipitate violent mood swings.
The second thing the diet needs is Essential Fatty Acids. not enough of this also lead to personality disorders, low IQ, disruptive behaviour mood swings etc etc.
Taking Cod Liver Oil supplements (EFAs) is well documented in bringing about personality changes.
Google it and see!!!

Answer 3

Anonymous call to the NSPCC.
Nasty little sh1t needs dealing with or the other children will grow up thinking it's acceptable to do that to people and may end up doing it to others.
Child protection is everybody's business and duty.
Remember that is just what is all about. CHILD PROTECTION.
You could even call the police, they are brilliant with families such as these, although the general public may not be aware of this role.
Please remember your duty to the younger children and make that call.

Answer 4

I'm from Canada and I know our laws and welfare morals may not be compatible. I strongly suggest calling the welfare offices. The fourteen year old will then get the help he needs and the younger children will be in a safe haven until he does.

Answer 5

It sounds like this brat needs therapy. He probably does it to get his mom's attention. Kids are like puppies...even negative attention is better than none at all so suggest that when he goes off on his siblings that she take the younger one to another room and completely ignore the abusive child until he does something that deserves praise. Reward works better than punishment.

Answer 6

is she a single parent ?
if yes maybe the child needs male role model
Or try enrolling the child in some sort of martial arts course ...sounds crazy but it will control the kids anger and also when she receives a punch slap she'll know what it feels like... Infact enrol all of the kids..and your friend as well....
violence does'nt always bequeth violence

Answer 7

hi you need to sit down and chat to the 14 year old ask what the problem is try and be calm ,one to one is sometimes all it takes attension seeking,maybe go out just the two of you you will find this probably helps.older children often feel pushed out by younger one feeling left out i think one to one will gradually help dont loose your temper remain calm and ignore the 14 year old if they go off in a temper when they see your not reacting eventually they wont go off good luck

Answer 8

It sounds like this young man has anger issues. Is dad around? Has something happened that has upset his world? If he is not in some kind of counseling, he should be seeing someone. The rest of the family should also be in counseling to learn how to cope with this young man.

Answer 9

Give him a good bloody beating, I say. That little ruffscalion rascal!

Or get him enlisted in a boot camp or a military training camp for a good while.

Answer 10

maybe your friend should take her child to a professional and see if she can get some type of anger management classes for him/her.......not saying they always work but it is worth a try...good luck to ur friend