* I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
* Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
* In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
* Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
* What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
* A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Grafton Street and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
* Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
* Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her." Dad: "That happens in every country, son!"
2006-07-20 12:32:48 · 8 answers · asked by heatherlynnmorrow 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
* A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: WIFE WANTED. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
* The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
* First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
* How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
* Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
* If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
* Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
* A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"
* I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
2006-07-20 12:33:40 · update #1
Catching a husband is a skill. Keeping him is an art!
2006-07-20 12:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by Adje J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
actual, my boyfriend has stated extremely some issues that Edward has stated to Bella - or a minimum of, some thing similar, if no longer verbatim. It became strange, too, he's stated those issues in the time of our relationship - I only study Twilight about 2 months in the past. So when I study many of the flaws Edward became putting forward, it spooked me. (No, my guy hasn't study the e book - he's already dreading me dragging him to ascertain the action picture next week!) My fashionable quote from Twilight is, "you're my existence now." it truly is because my boyfriend stated this to me no longer lengthy when we may all started courting. So even as Edward stated it, too, i became surprised.
2016-12-02 00:41:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Before I met my husband, he was incomplete. After we got married, he was finished." Zsa Zsa Gabor
Married men die sooner than single men because they have a reason to. (Unknown, but common knowledge)
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years, and then we met." Rodney Dangerfield
Interchange between Winston Churchill and a woman at a party, who hated each other:
Woman: "You are so dreadful! If I were your wife, I would poison your tea!"
Churchill: "If I were your husband, I would drink it!"
A woman came home from the doctor's office. "Guess what?" she asked her husband. "I think the doctor was flirting with me! He said I had the face, legs, and breasts of a twenty year old!"
"What about your forty year old fat a.s.s.?" he asked her.
She quickly answered "Your name never came up!"
Again, a woman came home from her doctor, bragging to her husband "The doctor says I have the body of a twenty year old!"
He answers "Give it back! You're getting wrinkles in it!"
A boy is with his parents at the zoo. He points to the gigantic penis of the elephant and asks his mom "Wow, what is that?" Caught off guard, the mother answers "Oh, its nothing! Let's go!"
Later on, they find themselves at the elephant area again, and this time, the son asks the father, pointing at the penis "Dad, what is that?"
"Well, son, that's his penis" answers the Dad.
The son replies "Mom said its nothing."
The father answers " Well, she has been spoiled, son."
2006-07-20 12:51:52 · answer #3 · answered by Raidered81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haven't collected any recently. Kind of in short supply right now.
Maybe later.
2006-07-20 13:02:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
those are funny,
according to my wife, i'm happy
2006-07-20 12:42:34 · answer #5 · answered by ► Gavilan ◄ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok.....are u a guy or girl???
2006-07-20 12:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO!
2006-07-20 12:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so true.
2006-07-20 13:20:17 · answer #8 · answered by cryp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋