How can I deal with a boss and coworker that constantly farts (smelly ones), belches, scratches himself...?

Question

How can I deal with a boss and coworker that constantly farts (smelly ones), belches, scratches himself, eats with his hands etc., which he by the way does not wash after using the bathroom. I can hear the plumbing from my office. The toilet flushes, but the water is not used.

Has lots of good qualities, but I just snapped a minute ago - almost barfed from the no-warning, no-apology fart of the century.

Sickening.

Answer 1

Well, I wouldn't worry about hurting his feelings or offending him because he obviously has no respect for you. When he cuts loose again, rattle a bottle of BEANO in front of him and slam it on his desk, and say, "Oh, I just wanted to make a little suggestion."

Then, while you're on a roll, tell him you expect a HUGE raise for working in a poisonous environment. Hang a nuclear waste sign on his door and tell him you will stop your assault when he stops his. When he walks by, stand up and aim a Febreze sprayer at him and say, "just in case.."

Second hand farts can probably kill just like second hand smoke.

I know you'd probably like to react that way, but if the situation just doesn't warrant it, put in a formal complaint with his boss. If he is "the" boss, ask him if he is seriously trying to drive you away. If he thinks you might quit, he may realize what a butt head he is being.

AND... if all else fails, show him this column that is being written about him!!!

Answer 2

There is no best way to deal with this situation. You have a right to work in an environment that pleases you. If your boss (who you seem to get along well with) has such poor hygiene, then you should look for a new job where you can only hope for a cleaner environment and a good relationship with your new boss.

It would be inappropriate to buy your boss cologne; handwash; etiquette books etc. That may cause you to lose your job as well as your relationship with him. If you do decide to leave and he asks you why, tell him that, with no disrepect to him, you haven't been able to get used to his style and it's something you don't know how to adjust to. (ouch -- good luck!)

Answer 3

If you can't beat them join them.....I would eat hard boiled eggs, drink a beer,eat some broccoli, cabbage, and onion and garlic on a hotdog. After you have digested all this wait for the mother of all farts and let it loose right in front of him. Either he will get the message or start a fart war and try to out do yours. Burp all you want, leave your dirty monthly pads visible in his waste basket, pick your nose and then offer to make him a coffee while he sees you picking it. If he refuses insist on making him a coffee and leave it on his desk.
Stop shaving your legs and stop wearing deodorant. Let your arm pit hair grow and wear sleeveless shirts to work. Wear skirts with no panty hose and let your hairy legs be shown in all their glory. stop grooming yourself and when he makes a comment about it make a deal with him that you will go back to grooming when he stops his bad behaviors.
GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

i have that same problem and the best thing i found is to carry a bottle of perfume or anything smells nice so when i meet those smelly people i just drown myself with perfume so i can't smell anything else cause i don't want to hurt their feelings by saying man you smell bad

Answer 5

When they are out of their office, dump some Old Spice aftershave into his chair seat cushion.

We did this with Jack Daniels to our buddies chair in college.

Answer 6

FILM this gross bastard with a minicam, show it to everyone
especially at the next big office party on a big screen

Answer 7

Hes the boss, grin and smell it.

Answer 8

Get a new job.

Answer 9

get out of dodge

Answer 10

hahaha...lol...this is funny