girlfriend and jealousy issue...help!?

Question

my girlfriend and i are doing the long distance thing for the summer because school is out. she has worked at camp for the past 3 summers on the boat staff with 6 other guys whom are friends (understandable)...
they are going to go on a vacation to a cable wakeboard place, at the end of camp all 6 guys and my girlfriend...
my girlfriend dated one of the 6 guys and had a summer fling (some hooking up) with another of the 6 guys...
i trust her, but is this a dating no no? i want her to have fun but it seems like something like this is just crossing the line

they are going to be staying in the same hotel...where as at camp she was cabin with girls

am i just being jealous? or is this not ok? if its not ok how do i explain to her so that we dont fight? (because if we do fight...that will make things more rocky between us while she is with the other guys...and i dont want that)


so what should i do? so far i told her its "ok"
if this is not ok how can i talk to her about it w/o us fightin

Answer 1

I would have hated if one of my exes did that to me. You yourself say that they're good friends, and you yourself agreed for her to go. Honestly, just trust her.

Answer 2

She almost definitely is crossing the line - she should know better, but she doesn't and really that says something ill about her feelings for you. But heres the situation, if you get jealous you will be the one who looks dumb. Best not to mention anything at all. Avoid the topic, unless it comes up in which case you should be totally cool with it - not a hint of jealousy.

Now then, use this counter strategy. Don't volunteer the information, but when she starts asking what you are up to, tell her this story. "I'm going on vacation with some 'people' from work." Use the term people because she will want to know if these people are guys or girls. Don't volunteer this information, but when she asks tell her its one other guy and some girls. She'll ask how many, you cautiously admit there will be 6 girls. She may ask their names, don't volunteer them, but have the names of these girls ready just in case.

She will naturally have to be cool with this situation. Act as if you are trying to avoid giving her details. Only give her the details that she asks for and make it seem like you are carefully wording your answers to be deceptive. If you can, get a real life girl to interrupt your conversation, a few times, and then cut off your phone conversation before its natural finish telling your gf simply, "I have to go." The whole idea behind this charade is that you are trying to make your girl friend jealous, without being obvious about it.

Summed up simply, its a hell of a lot better to be the object of jealousy than to be the jealous one. Give her a taste of what shes doing while letting her know that you are not in the least bit jealous of her silly cabin thing. Its too bad you can't just tell her whats she's doing is wrong - that said its important you don't look jealous.

Answer 3

Well you already told her it was OK so if you change your mind then you have to be ready for her to be upset!!!
Just tell her that she is her own person and you can not nor do you have the right to tell her what she can and can not do but that it bothers you that she has a history with 2 of the 6 guys and that she will be the only girl on the trip..
don't ask her or tell her not to go or that she can't go.. just tell her how you feel and let her make the decision!!!
Personally if i were in your place i would feel that a line was crossed!!
Good Luck!!

Answer 4

you just need to straight up tell her how you feel, if she truly cares for you she will respect that you did. It will not be an easy thing to do but keep in mind her feelings as well when talking to her while making all your concerns known. That way you two can go from there once you both understand how the other feels. Good Luck I hope it all works out!!

Answer 5

Okay, so here's my advice: you have to let her go do this. If you dont let her go do this, she'll see it as an opportunity that YOU made her miss (not good for the relationship, trust me). IF something happens, you have full rights to be pissed off, but only after something has happened. If it were me, I wouldnt mention anything to her, because then it'll seem like you dont trust her. The bottom line tho, is that IF she's the kind of girl who would do that to you, then you're better off without her, and she doesnt deserve you :) Good Luck!

Answer 6

WOW! tough question. If you COMPLETELY trust her, you wouldn't even ask. But anyway, it depends on her personality, how long you've been with her and............. honestly, if you don't trust her call her and remind her how much you love her or how highly you think of her. Pretty much, just talk really sweet to her over the phone like "I miss u, I think your such great person" you know sh*t like that. That might make her think twice before she does cheat on you.

Answer 7

Your in a rough spot. its a complete nono. she is going on a vacation. when people are on vacation, they live by much lower morals than they do in the real world. If you say something, she might think (well if he doesn't trust me I'll give him a reason not to). Bottom line do you trust her. If you do shut up. if you don't you have other problems to worry about. bottom line your in a rough spot.
.

Answer 8

it is yet it isn't jealousy. it is becuase you don't want any other guys around your girlfriend, because it's a 'back off she's mine' type of thing. it's not because, well you just want to protect her. and i'm only a 13 year old girl, but still, i do know a lot about htis stuff. if she loves you enough to be your girlfriend for who-knows-how-long, she'll understand, and you'll be able to talk to her w/out her getting mad. you just need to stay calm when talking to her, and DO NOT blow up in her face about it, of course.

Answer 9

to late you've already told her that it is OK, if you had a problem with it then you should have said so right up front.

if you trust her not to do anything with any of these guys then, there really is not problem. If you don't trust her not to do anything with any of these guys then you really don't have a great relationship anyway.

Answer 10

it is alright to have these feelings but dont let them get out of hand or else she will be pushed away by you and end up doing just what you feared trust her is all you can do at this point and dont bring it up to her all the time

Answer 11

ouch, yeah thats a major no no. thats just wrong. u need to tell her that u dont like her going to that camp with those dudes. uhhh maybe if u just talk to her about it she wont get too mad. I told my gf that i didnt want her to go see her old bf and she didnt go because she understood how i felt about it. so just give it a shot.