my husband and I rent a house from his grandmother, who is also our next door neighbor. one day after shopping with my kids I come home, and while I was getting my kids out of their carseats, my front door opens, and my husband's G-ma was walks out of my house with a carton of eggs ( her eggs), saying that she had just let herself in to boil some eggs! I didn't say anything out of respect for my husband and her, I mean elderly's in general. But I was furious! I know this is her house, but what about some privacy!! A few days later I guess she noticed I was being short with her, and she asked me if I was mad at her for something, so I nicely explained that I didn't like finding her in the house while we were not home, and that she caught me off gaurd. She became a little offensive, and has stayed away since then. Was I wrong to tell her why I was mad? Was I over reacting? I almost changed the locks but I didn't.
2006-07-20 12:09:50 · 23 answers · asked by CoutureCutie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
forgot to mention that her parents have died, and her husband too, so her house is full of stuff she inherited from them and in the 6 years I have been married to my hubby, I have never set foot in her house. No one has. She will not let anyone in. so either she can't get to her stove, or it is broken. and I had boiled her some eggs out of kindness, and now she is addicted to them she says!
2006-07-20 12:18:23 · update #1
you did the right thing. even though you rent the house from your husbands grandmother, she had no right going into your house. if i were you i would change the locks. she might go back into the house when your not home and be out before you come home and you will never know if she went into the house. that just shows that grand mom has no respect for you or your husband. if she goes into your house again and you catch her i would call the police on her. not to have her arested but the police will explain to her that she can not do that.
2006-07-20 12:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by Nicko912 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
She's your husband's grandmother. What she did may have been wrong... but did your reaction really make it any better.
Try to look at how to solve the issue and keep the peace rather than just making her feel bad, because she freaked you out that she was in your house. Try a more diplomatic approach first and when she knows how you feel I'm sure she'll respect your privacy.
Don't do the "being short with her" or the silent treatment. It doesn't achieve anything and is pretty childish.
2006-07-20 19:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by smelly pete 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you have the right to ask that she doesn't come in, but that doesn't mean its not going to ruffle a few feathers. I guess that is something you assume when renting form your grandmother in law. Would you have said the same things to your grandmother if she had done the same thing?
I would get in touch with her and explain how you did not mean she can never come over, but it would be nice if she would let you guys know in advance.
Liesa
2006-07-20 19:15:01 · answer #3 · answered by Midwest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u were not at all wrong for what you did. you did something that more people should do and be straight-forward when they do not like what a family member has done. that crosses your boundaries. that is your su casa (castle). she knows what she did is wrong and she will get over it when she starts missing the grand kids. she owes you an apology. you may have stopped her from inviting her friends over to hold a bridge game while you were upstairs taking a shower. good fortune with your relationship with her buy by all means you did the right thing. have a nice day
2006-07-20 19:17:24 · answer #4 · answered by naztman2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are living in the house as renters. That means the landlord (her) has waived the right to enter her property for the time you are living there. You had every right to be offended, she should have stayed out of the house and wait for you and asked you to use the stove.
2006-07-20 19:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by umbralatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think changing the locks would have been over reacting, but I don't think it was inappropriate for you to say something. It may be her house in the sense that she owns it, but it is your home and you pay good money to rent from her. If she continues to be mad, maybe just say something to the effect of, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Just give us some warning and you are welcome to come over anytime."
2006-07-20 19:14:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would be just as upset to find a total stranger in my house. You had every right to be upset. I think that the elderly age though, you forgit things. She may have just not thought to clear it with you.
I would talk it over with your husband. Remember, it's your house. You have every right to change the locks.
2006-07-20 19:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by I think... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she's doing you a big favour by letting you live there. She probably charges you at lot less than she could get from other tenants too. Maybe you need to cut the old lady some slack.
2006-07-20 19:15:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry to tell you this dear i think you kinda over react..i know you need privacy or something maybe if you tell her this on a nice way. maybe you guys didnt go so far.
she's a old lady..i'm assuming anyways she the grandmother of your husband she feel comportable doing something inside your house even no one's house and maybe in case you when to her house and she not there. she wont get mad to you coz she trust you.
2006-07-20 19:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you were overreacting, I mean you are paying rent, she has no right to be in your home. Any landlord is suppose to give you 12-24 hours notice before entering your home. If she gets upset, oh- well, she should know her boundaries.
2006-07-20 19:14:25 · answer #10 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋