i suspect my 14 yo daughter...?

Question

had company (a male) yesterday morning...she was up earlier than normal and being extra nice...if you know what i mean...so i started thinking something then....i was on my way to work when all of this was going on...

my question is how should i address the situation? should i question her? how? i am thinking about calling the male that i think she talks to regularly to ask him.. any suggestions/advice?

Answer 1

What id did was set my daughter down and let her know that i had my suspicions and were they were right or wrong didn't matter. that i expect her to Wait until she was sixteen and i would do whatever it took to make her wait. Then she had to go on group dates. I also called the boy and told him my wishes and he, thank God, respected my wishes. It made my daughter mad but who cares. Believe it or not he came back when it was time and they just got engaged an 21 and 22 years. They will respect you later. If they don't go along with it get her a sitter.

Answer 2

Hmmmm, every parent's biggest source of fear and confusion! I don't think it'd be a great idea to ask the male what happened. He'll probably lie, and then he'll tell your daughter, who'll be really embarrassed, and hate you for a while. Don't mention to your daughter that you think something has been going on, because she'll get defensive and close down. Let her come to you in her own time. It'd be best to simply have "the talk" with her. Say to her that you think she's coming up on that age where she'd be curious about that sort of thing. Then tell her about contraception methods and the like. Let her know that it's something special that should be shared with someone special. Gain her trust, and she'll come to you herself. Don't forbid her from doing anything that she wants to do. Remember that parents are meant to be guides for their children, they don't own them. Just be there for her when she makes mistakes, and guide her in the right direction by being supportive. Good luck!

Answer 3

Possibly ask her *what* she did yesterday. If she looks guilty when you ask, then further the question. Ask her why she got up so early. Usually you can tell - especially if she somewhat shrugs you off, or suddenly changes the subject.

Next time you suspect this, go home on your lunch hour....call a neighbor from work - tell her what you think is happening, and ask her to watch for suspicious things. Maybe she could to your door and ask for a pinch of sugar, etc.

Your daughter is very impressionable right now. We all know what happens around her age, and I hope she is making the right decisions. In your talk with her, ask her to remember that her reputation will be with her for the rest of her life. We all remember that girl in the 9th grade that got caught in her parents bedroom. I hope she isn't going to be "that" girl.

Answer 4

First, I would be certain that the situation you suspect is indeed the case. She is after all 14, too many other things she COULD have been doing. Maybe she didnt have him over, but was definately going against your rules. I would definately have a talk with her. If I still felt she wasnt being completely honest, I would get a video system installed, with out her knowing of course. Then video tape and see what you see or hear.

Answer 5

You should spend time with your daughter alone, go to dinner, go shopping for something every once in a while, and talk about growing up issues.

My mom never did this with me, and there was a lot of things I had to learn on my own and I wish her communication lines were more open at the time I was growing up.

You should establish yourself to be a parent and also a friend. Talk to her in a gentle, non-judgemental point of view so that she will open up, be non-threatening as your kid is going through puberty and having all these feelings of being infatuated with the opposite sex. It's exciting to be 14 and have puppy love on someone. So be happy for the nice things that are happening for her, but at the
same time, be firm about sex and creating boundaries about 'how far to go.' I think that's important.

Answer 6

Well first of all whoa she is 14. I really don't wanna say she had a boy over but there is a 90% percent chance he was there.
Now if you ask her she is going to say "Ma he wasn't over here or whom ever you suspect was there at the time.But I will tell you this talk to her about sex if you haven't already definitely stress the fact that you don't want anyone in the house when you are gone cuz alot of things happen. and One last thing prepare her for birth control cuz I was 16 when I had my son and the line I used on my paents all the time was nobody was here I was home alone etc so Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me know how it went

Answer 7

I've went through this with my mom.

1) You shouldn't play nice. I ended up facing being a mom, but I believe I miscarried, didn't get a pregnancy test in time. My "male friend" was my first "male friend." And I had just turned 14 and he was about 19 and a half.
2) If you suspect it, it's probably happening. Mom's have instincts. Don't ignore it. Get her a baby sitter. Don't give her time to mess up.

Yes, pregnancy isn't a mess up, it's a blessing but she would face lots of problems if she got pregnant, or an STD.

Answer 8

Before you call the guy who you think was over, you should talk to your daughter first. Let her know that having guy friends or being interested in guys is perfectly normal - but that hiding it and sneaking around isn't acceptable.
Talk to her and let her know you don't want to have to distrust her, but if she is lying to you then you are going to have to take other measures to ensure she isn't doing things she shouldn't be doing. If your daughter gives you the cold shoulder and/or you feel that she's lying to you - you have every right to talk to this guy and find out the story. But, keep in mind you might just get a bunch of lies from both of them.
Maybe think about stopping home unexpectedly or installing a nanny cam (more on the extreme side).

Answer 9

just be honest and ask her. stay calm and if she ends up saying something your either afraid of hearing orsomething you dont want to hear, remember that you are the mother and you want her to be able to talk to you aboutanything and everything. if you get all mad she'll close down and wont want to discuss anything with you anymore, for fear of your anger. if she admits to having a guy over then go the logical way, ask if they had sex, and if they did, did they use protection. take her to the doctors for birth control. doing this in no way condones the actions of her and her guy friend, but at least you know if it does happen again she will be informed and safe about it. if she says that nothing happened, then have faith in her. (b/c if she is lieing then eventually she will become tangled up in her lies) i would definately not call the guy, i doubt he would admit something like this to the girls mother, and it would cause embarrassment for your daughter. Just try to remember what it was like to be 14, all the emotions the confusion everyting. Just stay calm andcollected with her and try to understand

Answer 10

do not call her bf or male friend that is the worse thing to do to her. confront her but do it in a nice way. dont be rude right of the bat. take her out to lunch or some where and just have a casual talk and bring the situation up, most likly she will be honest. becuz if u corner and be a "parent" she will lie and back off from u and not be as honest. when i was younger my mom would hound me on boys and i never fessed up to what i would do or be doing becuz of how she handled the situation. but when she calmed down and asked me nicly and talk to me about things i eased up to her and was honest with her. good luck!