Doesnt matter what type of jokes they are. They can be yo mama, blonde, what ever.
2006-07-20 11:09:04 · 12 answers · asked by Tasha 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The poodle thinks, "oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, "Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
2006-07-20 12:40:18 · answer #1 · answered by kepjr100 7 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Cheaper Sex
A couple, both 67, went to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
The doctor examined them and then directed them to disrobe and go at it.
When the couple finished, the doctor reexamined them and, upon completion, advised the couple, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He then charged them $32.
This happened several weeks in a row.
The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no apparent problems other than the lack of vigor, which is to be expected in 67 year-olds, get dressed, pay the doctor, and then leave.
Finally after almost two months of this routine, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "Oh, we're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married, so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60. The Hilton charges $78. We do it here for $32 and I get $28 back from Medicaid".
2006-07-20 13:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A police officer pulls over a speeder. Writes the owner of the car a ticket and gives the lady the receipt. She replies curtly, "Now, what should I do with this?". The officer responds, "Well... if you save up three of them, you can get a bicycle.."
2006-07-20 11:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by Todd V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You wanna know how stupid you are?
You're so stupid that when I told you to go on the 210 you went on the 105 twice!
Yo momma is so old that when she farted, dust came out!
no stealing my jokes or i will sue ya!
haha got ya there
2006-07-20 11:28:20 · answer #4 · answered by Babygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs ********."
2006-07-20 11:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by Country Boy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you get a blonde to drown?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the swiming pool.
Why did the signal turn red?
You'd turn red too if you changed in the middle of the street!
2006-07-20 11:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by Surf n' Snow 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Q. how do you get a one armed man out of a tree?
A. wave at him
Q. what do you call guy with no arms no legs on the porch
A. Matt
Q. whats brown and sticky?
A. A STICK
2006-07-20 12:28:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want to HEAR a joke? You're blonde, right?
2006-07-20 11:23:32 · answer #8 · answered by Norman Conquest 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Check out
spicyjokes.com
hilarious
2006-07-20 12:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
once a boy wanted to take a shower with his dad.so he asked.dad can i take a shower with you?he said ok,but dont look at my limousine(private spot).the next day he wanted to take a bath with mom.so he asked.mom,can i take a shower with u?she said yes,but dont look at my garage(private spot).
later on the boy said 'mom open the garage so dad could put his limousine in'
2006-07-20 12:27:46 · answer #10 · answered by AvesPro 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋