My boyfriend was engaged with one of his ex and broke up two years ago. I started dating him 6 months ago and we live together now. Now he worries about his ex because she is not doing well without a job. He contacts her once in a while to check up on her. Recently he suggested visiting this girl’s house to see how she is doing. I refused and told him I felt uncomfortable with him even contacting her. Then he asked me to give him a good reason for opposing this idea. He even suggested visiting her house together. He says he’s just worried, but why should he? Please help me understand him, or how I can make him understand how I feel? He is planning to marry me, but this issue really makes me hold back…
2006-07-20 10:50:40 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow that would bother me also. And I am in sort of the same situation kinda backwards though. I spent 13 years with my ex-husband. We live in the same town and since we divorced I have only seen him twice and by that I mean just passing each other in cars. Well, his mother dies in April. That hurt me very much because I have known her for so many years. I was at his sisters house when I looked out the window and I saw him walking up, I walked outside and I gave him the biggest hug that I could. I told him how sorry I was. He told me that he was so glad that I showed up, that he was worried that I wouldn't. His wife was in the house & my husband was outside playing a game with my ex's nephew. I cried so much over her loss but I also cried because I knew he was hurting so much. We walked off the porch so we could talk more and I told him that I was really sorry about how things went and if he hated me because of the way things went in our marriage, I would understand and he said, "No, Sheila, I don't hate you, I love you and I always will." And then he asked me if I hated him and I started crying more and I told him that I never stopped loving him, and that he will always have a place in my heart but we both have moved on with our lives. He has a wife, a 3 year old daughter & two step=sons. And I have my wonderful husband Bryan and my beautiful Butterfly, my daughter Whitney.
You should look at how long that spent together. He plans to spend the rest of his life with you. Talk to your boyfriend more about how this is bothering you and go with him if he ever wants to go to her home to check on her. Never pull the trigger until you find out what is on the other side of the door. If you two have only been together for 6 mos and he said he wants to marry you then he is a kind hearted man that worries about how his friends life is going. Like I said go with him every chance you get & if he is on the phone with her, say hello to her so that she will know that you are in his life for good. don't back down on your love for him. Good Luck.
2006-07-20 11:09:27 · answer #1 · answered by ~Sheila~ 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
He still loves her, what more do you need? You have to here him say it. In time he will get over her but right now he is still in love with her. You can't just cut old emotions of like a faucet, the history of past relationship linger sometimes for years. You should be glad that he tells you, she is still his friend and you can't handle it because their is always the possibility he can have sex with her on the side. That possibility will always exist. If he invited you to go, then go. Hold back but don't make it an she or me proposition.
2006-07-20 10:59:26 · answer #2 · answered by Gingerbread Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your man cares too much. It's a good thing that he wants his ex to do well in life. And let's face it, some people just make better friends than lovers. (Been there, and the guy is like my best friend.) Go with him, give it a shot. If you still feel uncomfortable, be honost with him and make sure you have a really good reason.
2006-07-20 10:55:11 · answer #3 · answered by naenae4570 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give him some space for himself; if you are going to be so possessive about things we will leave you. Would you rather have him go see his ex alone or with you?.
2006-07-20 10:57:34 · answer #4 · answered by Khan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is wut i think yo should give him your side of the story. Jst calmly tell him that yo feel comfortable seeing/ meeting/ visiting or anything with his ex. You are with him now tell him that she is ot of his life and that you're the main woman now! Hope you like the advice.
2006-07-20 10:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is planning to marry you not her he is with u not her,there is nothing wrong with being concerned about an old friend,
snap out if it woman before u lose him through ur own stupidity
2006-07-20 10:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋