when told to sit down he will... but only for about two seconds. then he'll get up and start playing like nothing happened. he takes toys away from other kids. i once watched him throw a toy car into the face of my best friend's son(ten days older than mine). he calls others names like "retard" and "stupid". he knows its not nice but doesn't seem to care. he can be the absolute sweetest kid you have ever seen but the past few weeks he just doesn't seem to want to. he is overly intelligent. when he was 1 1/2, he was tested... we were told that he had the mental coppasity of a 3 1/2 year old.
i have to wonder if it might have something to do with the fact that me and his mother live separately? or maybe because she had another baby about eight months ago?
any help or advice anybody could give me would be greatly appreciated. i hope someone can help because his mother is about to lose her head and i don't want that to happen.
i know he knows that what he is doing is bad.
2006-07-20 10:41:06 · 12 answers · asked by shaud2099 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
That kind of stuff is extremely common for that age. They should change the saying to "terrible 3's".
We have similar issues with our 3.5 year old, but I've been talking a lot with "mommy" about getting on the same page with me about discipline. Now that she actually follows-through and is consistent, that terrible behavior around her is significantly decreasing (it has never been an issue around me because this kiddo' takes me VERY seriously if I say something goes). But, because he knows what to expect around me, he knows what not to do, so he's a happy, fun, and affectionate guy around me. I wish "mommy" got more of that because she sure does love it when it does come around for her. He's getting much better with her though, as mentioned.
He's been getting bad at school too (picking it up from the other 3-yr olds), and we've requested that the teachers report his general behavior to us at the end of each day. If he requires discipline or talking to because of something, he knows it's coming. That has decreased very much as well. No, I don't give a crap if most of the other kids in his class are doing that junk. He's not allowed.
It's tough, but really there are just a handful of things to follow.
* Dicipline (not out of anger, and not beyond the level of offense, and make sure the kid understands what and why)
* Follow-through (the whole *starting a count-down* that never gets to 3, or isn't followed up with disciplinary action when it does get to 3, is worthless and makes you a literal joke to the kid, not to mention a moron who can't be taken seriously).
* Consistency (if the kiddo' expects a response from negative or positive actions, you better believe you'll see the negative nearly disappearing in a hurry).
* Love (never go off the handle. Discipline must be calculated, calm, and deliberate. It is a critical part of learning in this confusing and testing stage of life. Never bark out in a harsh voice. No learning can come from someone lashing out at the kid).
* Respect (if you treat the kid like he should understand important and some times complicated concepts and trust him with the responsibility, then he will show you results, plus you'll earn more of his respect in return).
Don't screw up with the discipline. It is critical.
2006-07-20 10:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Smack him.. stand up to him.. don't let him win.
If you think it has something to do w/his mom having another baby.. talk to her about it.. have her set aside time for just him.
If he knows what he's doing is bad, you have to punish him for it no matter what the reason is that he is acting out.
You are the parent, he is the child. If my child threw something in another childs face, he wouldn't see the light of day for a long time.
If he calls someone a name, smack him.. he needs to learn that calling people names hurts people, including him when you smack him. How embarrassed would you be if you were walking thru a store and he called someone a "retard" only to find out that they had a mental handicap??
My mom and dad divorced when I was 2. That is not an excuse for him to act like a brat.. if you use that excuse then when he gets older he'll rob a bank and say "well, I come from a broken home and blah blah blah".
If you tell him to sit down and he gets up and starts playing, sit him down again.. tell him how long he has to sit there.. If he has to sit for 5 minutes.. he has to sit for 5 min. Make sure that he knows that if he gets up after 2 min, he'll be put back in the seat for 5 min. Every time he gets up, start the timer over again.. he'll soon learn to sit there.. but sitting there is not a good punishment for throwing things in someones face.. what if the other kids eye got poked out??
2006-07-21 02:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by rccola1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being a 3 year old. Sometimes 3 year old kids are really nasty little humans. They do grow out of it. You have to maintain the upper hand and be consistent. Talk to his mom and make sure you are on the same page as far as discipline is concerned.
Is it possible a new person has been introduced into his life who might be abusive or inappropriate - Does mom have a new husband or boyfriend who yells and belittles? Is there a new neighbor? A new teacher at daycare? He might be picking up this new language and behavior from a person he has met. If that is the case, you should find out who the other person is and have a talk with that person about their behavior and their impact on your son.
2006-07-20 17:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by zartsmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had the problem of our kids calling people stupid at an early age... We made a list of the "bad words" that kids cant say... its consist of all the names or phrases that kids call each other... Stupid, dumb, retarded... things like that... that has helped with some of the name calling... We have also started doing back to them what they do to others (to an extent atleast)... If one of my kids yells at another child.. we talk very loudly back to them and ask if they like it.. 9 our of 10 times they say NO, that was mean.... You will find what method works best, and the saying do unto others.... is drilled into our kids heads daily.. and we started this at around age 2... Good luck
2006-07-20 17:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by kutskova29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shell and Joe have given good advice. I'd reccommend stopping your child's watching cartoons on TV which can lead to imitative behavior. He is not being challenged to his educational ability and should be given opportunities to learn and outlets for his creativity. Put away the coloring books and let him draw or paint. He's probably not too young to learn to read if he can't already. Give him books that are at his level, let him choose the level.
2006-07-20 18:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by duaner87421 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start with time out. put a little chair in the corner with a timer. give him 5 minutes. if he gets up from the chair, reset the timer and put him back in the chair. 5 minutes is an eternity to a small child, particularly one that is physically or mentally active. repeat until child has served entire 5 minutes.
eventually, your kid will learn that getting up is counter-productive and will sit there until time is up.
then, scale punishments for minutes of time out. if he does something negative, give him a warning. if he repeats it, then send him to time-out. the worse the infraction, the longer the time in the corner.
2006-07-20 17:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by JoeSchmoe06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol im so glad to hear someone else is going through the same thing i am!!!! my son will be 2 and ooohhh is he ever testy and nasty towards others...i get really upset too but people say just be consistant and he will soon grow out of this stage! good luck, i guess this is what being a parent is about!
2006-07-20 17:55:04 · answer #7 · answered by dani may 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does anyone actually filter these answers? someone could, intentionally or not, post some very harmful advice that could possibly be taken seriously and cause mental or physical injury. please, seek the professional expertise of a doctor of psychology or medical science before following the advice of any 'ol person on the web. that's just insane.
2006-07-20 18:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by Jeremy H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE NEW BABY. IS IT YOURS TOO? MY DAUGHTER TRIED THAT TOO AFTER HER SISTER WAS BORN BUT I REFUSED TO PUT UP WITH IT. I DID PAY HER EXTRA ATTENTION SO THAT SHE DID NOT FEEL LEFT OUT OF ANYTHING. WHEN HER SISTER SLEPT WE WOULD GO FOR A WALK TO THE PARK WITHOUT THE NEW BABY. WE STILL TAKE OUR TIME JUST FOR HER AND I AND HER BABY SISTER JUST TURNED 1. YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE IT CLEAR WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE. WHERE HE CAN LET LOOSE,HOW HE CAN DO IT,AND MAKE SURE HIS MOTHER SHOWS HIM THE SAME ATTENTION AS SHE DID BEFORE. ITS HARD WORK BUT SHE CAN HANDLE IT.
2006-07-20 20:05:46 · answer #9 · answered by b_rachelk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is testing his bounderies .... disipline him and be consistant ..... make sure he knows you mean business, as soon as he does something he's not supposed to, take immediate action .... if it's time out force the issue, make him sit in a corner or whereever and each time he gets up, put him back and his time starts over, you give in and he's gonna get worse, i promise you....
2006-07-20 17:45:58 · answer #10 · answered by shellmybell15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋